2.5 yr.old not going to sleep til 10:30

[taramoon13]

Ahhhh, i'm so frustrated right now. ds has not been going to sleep until about 10:30 for a least a couple months now. he still nurses to sleep and i can tell he's tired, but JUST when he looks like he's about to drift off he gets his second wind. every time i start the bedtime routine (reading, quiet music, low light) early hoping it'll work and i always end up there for hour and a half to two hours.
it's really starting to affect my sanity and me and dh's time together. we used to look forward to watching a movie or having some intimate time after ds went to sleep, but we are both ready to collapse by the time ds decides to go to sleep.
i really don't want to leave ds upset, but i don't know what else to do. he only wants to fall asleep with milk.
he is still napping for 2 hours every day, i don't feel he's ready to give it up, but is this my only solution!?!??

[adoremybabe]

What time is his nap? If my dd naps past 4 she is awake past 10:30. We started waking dd up earlier in the morning so she'
d eitherskip her nap or nap earlier. It was gentle on her and works for us.

[taramoon13]

Originally Posted by adoremybabe

What time is his nap? If my dd naps past 4 she is awake past 10:30. We started waking dd up earlier in the morning so she'
d eitherskip her nap or nap earlier. It was gentle on her and works for us.

ds gets up pretty early, so he's usually ready for his nap right after lunch, i make sure he doesn't go to sleep later than 2 because it was affecting his bedtime (back when he used to go to sleep at 8) too. thanx for the suggestion, good thought!

[apmama07]

Let me just say I feel your pain! I have been in the same boat for over a month and was losing my mind. Luckily I found these wonderful posts/comments on exactly this issue, that at least made me see what's going on more calmly and not feel so alone:

http://www.askmoxie.org/2008/01/the-2-12-3-year.html

http://www.askmoxie.org/2009/04/2yea...egression.html

Don't know about you, but DD (29 mos) has gone through every sleep regression/cognitive leap VERY intensely, and this one is no exception. I have noticed since switching my thinking to "this is another one of those phases which will pass" that DD is now playing and talking very differently. She's suddenly got a more elaborate imaginative world that gets more interesting every day. When I talk to her now, I often feel like I'm having a conversation rather than just a broken exchange, if that makes any sense?

As for concrete help, I've found that the nap suggestions worked for us to, only I've had to push it back and keep it short even more - used to be 2 was my "cutoff", now I've realized she needs to be down by 12-1 or else we're in for a late night (normal bedtime is now 7:30-8:30ish). This means not letting us sleep past 8 am, which is hard sometimes. Also has meant temporarily rearranging/skipping some socializing and errands to make sure that we're home midday, something not everyone can do....

Because this is a big age for fears and dreams to kick up, you might want to investigate if any of that is playing a role too? DD was suddenly able to tell me one night at bedtime "no dark" and we figured out she wanted the light on dimly. (duh! I felt)

Also a duh moment when we realized that another molar was poking through (she's a veerrryy slow and painful teether) - motrin gave her a nice long stretch of sleep.

One more thing that's made a dramatic difference for us: On nights when we've done the whole bedtime thing and she nurses then pops right off, telling me "no nap" and starting to stall, I offer some chatting time. We'll lay in bed and I give her good eye contact and talk very softly about our day, what she'd like to do tomorrow/what's planned, and I ask her if there's anything else she wants to talk about. It doesn't usually amount to much, but her little face lights up when I offer it. And after 5-10 mins of this she's usually ready to give in and nurse some more, go to sleep.

GL and hang in there!

[taramoon13]

thanx apmama07, makes me feel better just to know that someone is in the same boat! the links were very helpful. yes, i did come to the realization recently that this must just be "another phase", some phases are harder than others though! he has been going through a lot more changes personality-wise recently too, so i'm sure it's all tied together. being a SAHM i really crave a little time alone. yep, my days pretty much revolve around ds' naptime too.