When does AP become martyrdom? - Page 2

[chipper26]

Originally Posted by chfriend

Chipper...if it's any help. I didn't nightwean and I only got a 3 month maternity leave.

The end of the summer is a long way off in baby growth time! So, if it doesn't happen easily, it might still be okay even when you go back to work.

True, that is a long time in baby growth. but, she'll be 2 in July, so if I do it this spring, I hope she'll be ready. I'm not going to completely force it. If it's a disaster, I'll stop.

It must have been hard nursing all night and working. I probably would have continued with co-sleeping and nursing too because it has always been the way I get the most sleep and she's happiest. Right now she'll only sleep in her bed for about the first 3-4 hours of the night, after a waking or two... then she comes to bed with us. I like co-sleeping, I just want more sleeping

I don't want to force her out of our bed, especially with the change of me going to work. I want her to have that security.

[chipper26]

Originally Posted by ~pi

This is one of the key issues IMHO with a growing child -- recognizing these incremental shifts in your job is as a parent.

IME, AP with a baby can be overwhelming, but it's incredibly simple. As they grow, it should become more complex, but also less overwhelming and urgent.

One of the best things I ever did for my sanity and confidence as a parent was to consciously make the decision that it was not my job to make sure that DS was completely happy at every moment. Not only would that be futile, but it would actually be harmful to him.

Instead, I see my job as helping him navigate life and acquire the skills and emotional responses to be a kind and centered adult in a world that isn't always easy and smooth sailing. Of course I still respond quickly to urgent needs, but more often, that job means telling him that I will be with him as soon as I finish XYZ task.

In practical terms, that often sounded something like, "I see that you want me to come separate those pieces of Duplo for you. I will do that as soon as I finish chopping these vegetables for supper. If you want, you can try to get them apart by yourself while you wait." (To be honest, I can't quite recall if that's the level at which we were functioning when he was 19 mo. That might have been more like age 2.)

I like the point that is being made here by both of you. Thanks. Rather it's tow or sooner that she understands that type of response, it is good to start it. I trying to expalin things to her and that make help... showing that I am empathizing and understand that she needs me. Then I can say that I will be there to help. I think she is learning what "just a minute, please" means because I use it often.

The emotional shift is grow that I believe will be happening in me as well as in her as I learn to help her deal with everything and I learn more patience and understanding!

[fruitlove]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

ya gotta read this:

http://www.continuum-concept.org/rea...InControl.html

this is the article that helped me find sanity in the toddler years.

Thank you for sharing!

[jillmamma]

Originally Posted by chipper26

True, that is a long time in baby growth. but, she'll be 2 in July, so if I do it this spring, I hope she'll be ready. I'm not going to completely force it. If it's a disaster, I'll stop.

It must have been hard nursing all night and working. I probably would have continued with co-sleeping and nursing too because it has always been the way I get the most sleep and she's happiest. Right now she'll only sleep in her bed for about the first 3-4 hours of the night, after a waking or two... then she comes to bed with us. I like co-sleeping, I just want more sleeping

I don't want to force her out of our bed, especially with the change of me going to work. I want her to have that security.

My experience with nightweaning has been that at 19 months, my kids were still getting in lots of teeth (molars and eye teeth) so needed the comfort of nursing at night, but once they were close to 2 (22/23ish months) and most of those teeth were in, they started sleeping MUCH better and pretty much nightweaned themselves. Another thing that helped a lot with that was sending daddy to comfort them if they woke up as he had to do something different than nurse since as DS would put it "daddy's muhs are broken". I also found that a lot of things got easier as they got closer to two and more verbal, so I bet it will for you as well.