a second natural birth - mamas w/experience?

[bastaya]

I had DS 20 months ago in a totally natural, perfect (for me) birth. In preparation, I did everything imaginable: read every natural birthing book, took the Hypnobirthing course, took natural birthing and breast feeding classes, did pre-natal yoga. We are pregnant again, and this time around I've done nothing. Zero! I am wondering if this is other mamas' experience too. Based on last time, I feel like a) this has to be like riding a bike. The body just remembers, no? and b) the "program" aspects of my prep- like hypnobirthing- weren't particularly useful to me. In the end, the most important parts of my prep were realizing a) you gotta breathe b) don't try to control/manage the process, just roll with it and c) you have options. Pick the best birthing team you can.

That said, have other mamas done anything to "re-prep" themselves for baby #2? If so, what have you done? Any useful local resources (we're on Johnston/Smithfield line)? Thanks a lot!


Basta

[Paige, CPM]

Hi Basta,

Congrats! I, like you, am expecting number 2 and am so excited to just have a normal birth, no fuss! I know, like you, that my body can do it! I did it under extreme conditions with my first because of my pre-eclampsia, induction, restrictions, etc...so now, sigh!!!!!!!!, I know I can do it just fine without all the fuss too. I am sure the fear of the labor will come, but I still know I can do it and do it well cause I did it the first time, even though it was hard. Same for you, no?

I think it is also so helpful to read the diverse stories of birth that are in Spiritual Midwifery, and not to have too many preconceived notions about how it will be. I am pretty convinced of my abilities and that my body was made to do it without pre-e, but in case I do need help, that is ok in my mind too. And like you said, having the best birth team, will just allow you to do your thing in peace and loving support.

And with this kind of a birth team, I do not feel I need to be worried about being on the defense to watch out for my physical and spiritual needs and that if I need intervention or transport I will really need it, so I can just relax and focus on doing it. I don't feel I need a class to study up because of my birth team. Yes, I know a lot about birth but I will just be a birthing mama when the time comes and not in my midwifery head.

So, not really a good resource response to your post, but moral support! You'll be awesome, don't cha think?

[milknsheep]

I have had 6 natural births. What I did for prep after the first one was read, read and read. I found that reading books by Ina May Gaskin and Penny Simkin as well as "Gentle Birth Choices" and "Birthing From Within" really helped to prepare me mentally for what was to come. Also, remember that not all births are the same...so any information you gather may be useful in this birth ~ never stop educating yourself.

[elismum1908]

I am in the same boat as you. I guess I am just figuring if I've done it once, I can do it twice. Last time I had to have pitocin and still managed without pain meds; hoping not to have pit this time and thinking that will make it easier!!! As for prep, I've been very slowly reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth just as a confidence booster.

[Qestia]

Well, I didn't have a first natural birth--but I did the second. All I did was listen to the hypnobabies cds, and not often, about once a week (the affirmations a few times a week) yet apparently it made a difference... the second time was like night and day.

[Sage Green]

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Edited by Sage Green - 12/9/11 at 7:20pm

[BellyfullBirth]

I think this is so very common. I'm a mom of two and a doula and I think we simply prepare for a first child differently than we do 2nd, 3rd and more. Refresher reading is good, but trusting yourself is the key. I remember with my second one I felt like 'I had an awesome first birth, how could I possibly be lucky enough to have another one?' Truthfully each birth is very different. The need for support is just as important though. Find a doula if you can, trust yourself, and know that becoming a family of four is just as big an adjustment as becoming a family of 3. Best of luck!

[nachipmunks]

I had a natural birth with my first and with the second as many other mama said I re-read some of the books I used before and literature my child birth educator had given me. The second baby was not text book at all and everything went fast.

[lizfu]

I agree that you don't necessarily have to do all the reading, and that having a supportive birth team who you can completely trust is the most important thing.  I did hypnobirthing as well with my first but had a terrible experience- bad provider, C/S, blamed myself a lot and felt that the hypnobirthing program did nothing for me in terms of coping with a non-natural birth.

2nd time around I had a fantastic natural birth. Now I'm pg with #3, and am worried b/c I know the best a birth can be as well as knowing what a bad experience is like. I don't believe the hypnobirthing mantra that if you think positively then you will have the experience you want.  It is fine to assume that your body knows what to do- but I also think it is reasonable to consider the possibility that things won't go as well- and to do some planning/thinking toward that end.  It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to have an epi if your labor is epic.  A c/s doesn't have to be terrible if you know what you can ask for.  Be flexible and know that your births can be totally different.  I had no idea that my 2nd labor could be 3x as long as my first!

[bastaya]

Hi ladies-

Thanks for all the love and advice. I haven't been on mothering for a while, as this post is quite old. I originally asked the question back in 2/2010 and it seems like it was recently picked back up. That baby #2 is 19 months old now .

I did want to post though, to thank everyone for their thoughts. I also wanted to share a follow-up, hoping it might be useful for other mamas to be.

My first son was a 40 hour, totally natural, mid-wife and doula assisted dream birth. Best case scenario from start to finish (um, maybe not the 40 hour part!). My second was totally different. Baby was posterior, leading with his face. Cord wrapped twice around his neck. Heavy meconium. Despite having the dream team again (fab doula + midwife extraordinaire +unbelievably supportive husband) I wasn't able to have the same kind of birth. While I know all us natural birthers aren't supposed to say this, it was agonizingly painful - nothing like the first birth. Due to the support of the folks I had, I have absolutely no regrets as to what happened. What I will say is that you really, truly, never know what is going to happen. I am the poster child for crunchy, natural birthing. I did everything you can to be informed. And sometimes, it still turns out differently. My take-away from the experience is two fold 1) make sure you are working with the very best folks you can. I think that I am mentally fine with what happened because I felt that the choices I made were 100% mine - no one backed up against a wall and 2) be gentle with yourself. As my mid-wife gently reminded me, "women used to die - still die - in childbirth". That is not to be morbid/over the top, but the truth. Some times you are in a situation where you need to move to plan b, and even though that wasn't your hope, it can be OK.

Good luck.