My boy is different and it was painfully obvious to me tonight. // UPDATE w/ video #32 - Page 2

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by Kailey's mom

OP: I just want to send you hugs, this is so bittersweet, and I'm sure it took A LOT of courage for your ds to get up on stage. He really had to work hard, and wow, how awesome is it that he got up on that stage. It makes me want to cry too.

I'm so proud of him. It takes ME a lot of courage, too. (I have a neuro disorder that I *think* may also be AS, but my parents never went to the follow up appt w/ the doc!) I understand so much of what he goes through. A lot of the time, it's like looking at myself. yk?

Originally Posted by momtoS

Yup I understand.

I was at a playcenter and there was a playgroup and the children were all on the autism scale. In the other room there was just children playing.

My daughter was being herself.

And a mom (one with a child on the spectrum) came up to me and commented on my dd's behaviour and said there was a support group in town and offered her email.

I had to walk away.

Tears were welling up in my eyes.

I wasn't part of the group with the children on the spectrum.......but she came up to me.....

Oh. That's a shock.

[momtoS]

It was a shock. I mean....I noticed her differences. BUT...I guess I was in denial that anyone else noticed.

I had to choke back tears...and cried when we got in the car.

I have no idea how I ended the conversation....I really think....I just walked away. I didn't mean to be rude...

[Kailey's mom]

Originally Posted by momtoS

It was a shock. I mean....I noticed her differences. BUT...I guess I was in denial that anyone else noticed.

I had to choke back tears...and cried when we got in the car.

I have no idea how I ended the conversation....I really think....I just walked away. I didn't mean to be rude...

((hugs)) We had a very similar event happen at the Harvest Festival this past Halloween. My dd was playing in the little bounce house, she was having fun, mainly spinning very fast and jumping. I didn't notice anything "odd" but than a woman came up to me and said she loved to watch autistic children, and thought they were amazing, and how my dd looked so happy "in her own world" I said "well she's not in her own world, she's just being 3" but then I thought about it, was she playing with the other kids, no.. talking to them..not so much.. I'm glad in a way because this does prove there is more Autism awareness going on. It still sucks to hear it from a stranger.

[Kailey's mom]

Originally Posted by HarperRose

I'm so proud of him. It takes ME a lot of courage, too. (I have a neuro disorder that I *think* may also be AS, but my parents never went to the follow up appt w/ the doc!) I understand so much of what he goes through. A lot of the time, it's like looking at myself. yk?

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I'm diagnosed with A.S.

[momtoS]

I have a two year old...and sometimes when she does something....I reflect on my older daughter. And it makes me sad too.

Truthfully.....my heart is broken.

[APToddlerMama]

I feel for you mama. I so know this feeling. This was the kind of day I had today too. Ups and downs...

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by momtoS

I have a two year old...and sometimes when she does something....I reflect on my older daughter. And it makes me sad too.

Truthfully.....my heart is broken.

I hear you. Just noticed your new thread and will check it tomorrow. It's been that kind of week for a few of us, I reckon.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by Kailey's mom

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I'm diagnosed with A.S.

Thanks.

Yk, I think, "Oh, he'll be fine. I'm ok! I'm married, have kids, life is good. We're ok."

But then I remember how hard it was to have friends, to make friends, I was always the weird one, laughed at odd stuff, not much of a brain-to-mouth filter, stay in the corner, by the wall, alone to observe and participate on MY terms, etc.

And I look at Max in that picture, or in a social setting, or with new people, and I see it all over again.

My girl, Rachel, has her issues, too, to be sure, but she's different. Anxiety & SPD can affect you greatly, as we all know, but she still manages to get out there and REALLY has the crowd in her hand! I mean, she was throwing rocker horns when another group was doing their vocals practice! (I wanted to crawl under a chair!!!!) That's just who she is.

Max and I like to hide.

[SpottedFoxx]

MomtoS - big hugs. I totally hear where you are coming from. We were at a Chanukah party and a woman walked right up to me and said "you're getting him services right?" I just stared at her. She introduced herself as a special ed teacher. I was floored. It was just my son being my son right? Guess not.

HarperRose - it is bittersweet. I have decided I can take joy in his accomplishments (whatever and whenever they are) or be sad that he accomplishes things differently. I like the first option

My son is adopted but my husband is ADD and I'm dyslexic and ADHD. Talk about a crazy family

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by SpottedFoxx

MomtoS - big hugs. I totally hear where you are coming from. We were at a Chanukah party and a woman walked right up to me and said "you're getting him services right?" I just stared at her. She introduced herself as a special ed teacher. I was floored. It was just my son being my son right? Guess not.

Ohhh.

HarperRose - it is bittersweet. I have decided I can take joy in his accomplishments (whatever and whenever they are) or be sad that he accomplishes things differently. I like the first option

It really is bittersweet. Usually, we take the first option you mentioned. This time, it just hit me out of the blue and I ended up being very sad.

My son is adopted but my husband is ADD and I'm dyslexic and ADHD. Talk about a crazy family

I hear that. In my family there is bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, Autism (both classic and high-functioning forms), AD/H/D, SPD, you name it, it's probably here.

[*LoveBugMama*]

I sooo can relte to this thread. My son has no diagnosis, and I don`t know if he ever will. Time will tell. But he absolutely is different, and has different needs. He would not be on that stage. No way. I have been the mom crying, cause all the other kids in his class (heck, in his whole SCHOOL) were up there, participating in different things. But not my boy.

It truly is heartbreaking to see them being so different sometimes. It is. Big hugs to you.

[HarperRose]

Well, he got up there! He did it!!!

I uploaded a video of it to youtube. He's in front wearing a big white sack. (He was dressed as a yellow & white striped candy stick, but it's hard to see.)

The actual performance starts at 1:55 (it's just credits until then) and I join him for the 2nd song.

* It has part of the Willy Wonka movie in it, too. Hmm. I hope I don't get in trouble for uploading it!

[LynnS6]

Great! And he's moving to the beat too.

[SpottedFoxx]

Oh Harper - I got all teary eyed! He did beautifully!

Both DH and I had the same experience with DS over the weekend. Friday night, I took my son to a "Tot Shabbat" (religious program). All the kids were standing around together, singing songs and dancing and he was off to the side except when he was trying to steal a microphone. He loves microphones and will just stand there and yell "Mommy, are you??" The fantastic part was none of the kids treated him any differently. If he acted out a bit, they didn't respond negatively - that's just Dylan.

DH took him to a karate party. He did his own thing the entire time. DH was stressed out big time because he didn't want Dylan disrupting the party. My girlfriend told him to chill out, that he was fine and not bothering anyone. DH finally felt some of my typical nervousness with DS in strange situations.

[momma of monkeys]

As my little sister would say...SQUEE!!!! Great job Momma....

You're a

[HarperRose]

Thanks so much, you guys!!

I was so PROUD of him when he put himself out there and did it!!!

We're new to this area, thus a new congregation, and this is the first time we've ever experienced whole acceptance. No judgment, no worries. Whole acceptance and inclusion and, "Hey, what can we do to help him be more comfortable?"

Max is not the first "weird" kid they've known. There are at least 2 others. One (about 14 yrs old) is most assuredly on the spectrum but undx'd and another (about 20 yrs) has other issues. My mom and the mom of the 20-something both tell me, "Oh, Max will be FINE! They've been through L [the 20-something]!"

[ASusan]

Yay! He's out there with the rest of them. So fun!

DS, 2, came RUNNING when he heard the opening strains of "Candyman." It's one of his favorite songe - and he sat riveted to watch the whole thing. And as I type, he is asking for more candyman.

[Chicky2]

I just loved the video! He did great! And I got all misty when you got up there w/him and danced. What a great mama! Your son is beautiful.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by ASusan

Yay! He's out there with the rest of them. So fun!

DS, 2, came RUNNING when he heard the opening strains of "Candyman." It's one of his favorite songe - and he sat riveted to watch the whole thing. And as I type, he is asking for more candyman.

My 2 yr old does, too!! "Kenny! Kenny!" (That's how he says Candy. )

When my performance comes on (also in my Youtube channel), he'll start yelling, "Lollimbop! Lollimbop!"

Originally Posted by Chicky2

I just loved the video! He did great! And I got all misty when you got up there w/him and danced. What a great mama! Your son is beautiful.

Thank you so much.

[DaughterOfKali]

I sit here with tears rolling down my face.
Thank you posting the video. I love that your son had the opportunity to be a part of that! I loved when he did the twirl with Mr Wonka!

I would have to run up and be a part of the second song, too. My son would have freaked out with the confetti otherwise.

Again, thanks for sharing!