Sleepovers

[*bejeweled*]

How do you feel about sleepovers? Do you allow your child to do them?

My DD is 7 and I don't think that I'm ready to allow them.

[ProtoLawyer]

My stepdaughter's 7 and she's been to sleepovers where we know and trust the parents (on this end--I don't know what her mom's policy is). So far, she's slept over at her best friend's house, whose stepdad I have known for 17 years (he's my ex--we were fundamentally incompatible but I trust him completely in this regard) and whose mom I have known for 6.

However, she's asked to sleep over at a relatively new friend's house and both my husband and I get weird vibes from the mom, so if there will be a sleepover it will be at our house.

[catballou24]

dd had her first sleepover at a friends house, last night. she'll be 7 in a few weeks. i know the parents and trust them, so it was fine. she had a blast. she's stayed at grandma's house before, but never at a friends so this was a big deal to her. she did great..

[amcal]

We don't and won't do sleepovers.

I think they're completely unnecessary and can put children at risk. My kids know that we sleep at our own house. They can stay late at a friend's house, and I can bring them back over for breakfast if they want but, we sleep at home.

And yes, I know a lot of families do them and think they're a big part of childhood but, my experience with them has been really bad. The middle of the night when everyone is asleep is a very vulnerable time for a child. No matter how well you know the family, I don't think you can know them well enough.

I had sleep overs as a child with one very close famly and the father walked around in his tiny silk boxers showing us his naked lady playing cards asking us if we wanted to play poker with him. This guy was a good friend of my families.

I have another friend who was molested by the father of very good friends in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping.

So, my experience with them is really bad and we won't ever do them.

[karne]

We have them at our house, infrequently. But, I feel fortunate in that my oldest desn't like to sleep anywhere but home. I like to have my kids at home. The biggest thing is dealing with the peer pressure to do the sleepovers-it's a huge preteen thing.

[Jessy1019]

I LOVED them as a kid and I'm glad my daughter seems to love them as well.

Her 7th bday party was a sleepover (for kids who wanted to stay). They had a great time (though Rylie tends to poop out earlier than the other kids . . . she's funny that way).

I wish more of her friends were into doing sleepovers because I know she'd like to have them more often. So far, she only has three friends that do them - a boy from school, a girl we've known for ages, and another friend that we met when we were homeschooling.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by *bejeweled*

How do you feel about sleepovers? Do you allow your child to do them?

My DD is 7 and I don't think that I'm ready to allow them.

We don't and won't. Dd is 8. It's not something that happens where my dh is from (Turkey), so culturally, it's not even on his radar and he's very uncomfortable with it. Even though I did have sleepovers as a kid, looking back, I can't see any good reason for them. Let the kids stay up late together, then bring them home to sleep. There was usually more drama on sleepovers than any fun when I was a kid. Besides, once they're asleep, what does it matter where they sleep? I like the idea of going back for breakfast if that's what they want.

[cyncyn]

Some of dd's 1st-2nd grade school friends aged 6-7 are doing sleepovers. Dd has been asked and wants to, but I am hesitant. I personally did not do a lot of playdates or sleepovers as a child and was not comfortable staying over until much older, around 11 or 12. I am mostly concerned about safety issues and dd's ability to deal with unusual circumstances like an emergency. She has slept over at Grandma's once a month or so since she was 4 and sometimes her cousin is there so it is like a sleepover.

[cedoreilly]

I have not done sleepovers with my 1st graders. The closest we have come is one of DD's friends family went to a Y campout which my kids and I were also at. I can't say exactly why but I am not ready for either of my twin's to do the sleepover thing yet.

[waterproofmascara]

I am going to say yes and no. I don't have a problem with them if I know and trust the other parents, but... My dd is 8 and was invited to her bf's house for her first sleepover a couple of weeks ago. She made it until about 10 p.m., and then I had to go get her.

So, yes and no. I do not have a problem with them, but dd seems to be unable to spend the night away from me.

[One_Girl]

I let my 7 y/o dd sleep over at the YMCA and I allow her to have friends over to the house to sleep over.

[dawningmama]

I love sleepovers, as do my kids. I'm not a huge fan o hosting them, but I do it be fair. We don't have a huge pool of families with whom we trade sleepovers, but the ones we have I trust and adore. It takes some work, but I try to get all 3 kids to have their sleepovers at the same time to get a no-cost kid-free night every now and again.

[knee_deep_with_1]

My daughter will be 7 in April and I dont allow sleepovers yet. One, I feel she is too young and two, she still wets the bed and I dont want her friends to find out. Friend or not, kids can say mean things weather they mean it or not. Not to mention, I really dont want her ruining other peoples things. I have talked to her and let her know that when she stops, then we would talk about her having or going on a sleepover. Until that happend, which at this rate will be a LONG time as its every single night ugh. Thanks everyone!

Mary

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by knee_deep_with_1

My daughter will be 7 in April and I dont allow sleepovers yet. One, I feel she is too young and two, she still wets the bed and I dont want her friends to find out. Friend or not, kids can say mean things weather they mean it or not. Not to mention, I really dont want her ruining other peoples things. I have talked to her and let her know that when she stops, then we would talk about her having or going on a sleepover. Until that happend, which at this rate will be a LONG time as its every single night ugh. Thanks everyone!

Mary

My dd has two friends that still wet the bed and they where a pull up when they come over to our house. If you get to a point where you feel like she is emotionally old enough but her body isn't ready you might consider talking to the parent you would trust her with about giving her some space to discreetly take care of her pull-up without a comment from her friend. A person who you can trust with your child should be willing to take steps to protect her from anything their child might say.

[mami to 3 :)]

Originally Posted by amcal

We don't and won't do sleepovers.

I think they're completely unnecessary and can put children at risk. My kids know that we sleep at our own house. They can stay late at a friend's house, and I can bring them back over for breakfast if they want but, we sleep at home.

And yes, I know a lot of families do them and think they're a big part of childhood but, my experience with them has been really bad. The middle of the night when everyone is asleep is a very vulnerable time for a child. No matter how well you know the family, I don't think you can know them well enough.

I agree 100%

[hipumpkins]

My DD has slept over one friend's house (see Jessy1019 Homeschool friend ) on her own.
Honestly I didn't think she would make it all night but she did and had a great time.
We had one sleepover here with Jessy1019's DD and several sleepovers here where the mom has slept-over as well.
I never slept at anyone's house until I was probably 12. I did think 6/7 was awfully young but it worked out fine.

[pixiekisses]

We do sleepovers. Whenever they want to and we know the parents well. And we have kids here for sleepovers too.
Mostly, I like to have them here, just because I'm a tad of a control freak, so that's what we do most off. But sometimes they sleep over too.
They have a blast, as I remember I had.

[Qbear'smama]

[QUOTE=amcal;15041299]We don't and won't do sleepovers.

I think they're completely unnecessary and can put children at risk. The middle of the night when everyone is asleep is a very vulnerable time for a child. No matter how well you know the family, I don't think you can know them well enough.QUOTE]

My DD is too young for sleepovers, but I completely agree with this. Statistically, children are far more likely to be sexually abused by someone they know and trust, someone their parents know and trust. I don't think we'll ever allow sleepovers.

[Honey693]

I loved sleepovers as a kid and if DD wants to I'll let her go to them and we'll host some too. I'd probably be ok with them around 1st grade and if I have to go pick her up so be it.

[Bug-a-Boo's Mama]

Wow. Great thought provoking responses. I loved sleepovers as a child. Probably started them around 2nd grade, but they were with best friends, never a casual school friend. I never had a bad experience. I had always assumed that DS would do them as he got older.

But it is the truth that just because you trust a family, it doesn't mean everyone in the family is trustworthy. I was molested by my babysitters teenage son for I don't know how long. And these were long term babysitters, I was treated like family, spent a lot of time there. Single mom, going to school and working evenings. And no one ever knew or found out.