Nap Time at Day Care Centers

[Janette21]

Hello my name is Janette and I'm still sorta new here. I'm working towards my associate's degree in Early Childhood Education. Throughout some of my classes I had to observe at some day care centers. I have a major concern about some nap time teqniques this one NAEYC accredited center had.....

I had went to the center one day to observe the infant room. The first day I got there I saw an older infant boy sleeping in the arms of the teacher during nap time. My first thought was of how sweet that looked. But then on another day I saw what truely had taken place before the baby boy fell asleep.....

During nap time the infants were required to be put down for a nap and the baby boy didn't want to take a nap. They didn't put him in his crib because they said he would cry non-stop. So instead they held him. At first I saw it as good thing because of the fact that they didn't leave him alone to cry it out. But then I saw the baby protest with all of his strength. He was crying out "Mommy!" and struggling non-stop to get out of the arms of the teacher. He finally fell asleep after about 20-30 minutes of pure exhaustion from the struggle. During this whole struggle the teacher held him very close against her body as if smothering him, which I believe made the baby even more angry. I was very shocked when I saw this and my instincts told me that this was very wrong. I didn't understand why they couldn't have had him sit down instead of smothering him and maybe help him fall asleep by reading a book to him?

I would like to know what other people think of this and if their techniques are wrong like my instincts told me or not? Thanks, Janette

[stik]

I don't work in ECE, but as a parent, that sounds weird to me. I wouldn't want to be the worker who holds the struggling kid. In my experience with my dd's day care providers, that kind of strategy is not the norm, and I know there are alternatives.

Strategies I have observed in use include putting the baby in a swing instead of a crib, offering a quiet toy, gently rubbing a child's back, or moving the child to a crib in a room where an administrator is doing paperwork.

I sometimes have held my own children very close to me to help them calm their bodies for sleep, and they didn't smother (though I'm sure it looked like it.) But that's my own children, not someone else's.

[Janette21]

Thank you!

Thanks for your reply! Yes, now that I thought of it I'm sure they weren't truely smothering the baby. It just looked like they were, like you had mentioned. I guess some children like being held close to help them calm down and others not. This child seemed to be angry about it but there are probably other children who have the opposite effect. So I guess it really all comes down to the child's preference.

Thanks for mentioning about the alternatives. I could really use those as ideas for when I work with children who have nap time troubles. I also agree with you on not wanting to be the worker who holds the struggling kid. It would be a headache to put up with all of the crying, screaming, and struggling each day for nap time. haha.

Thanks again,
Janette

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I dunno sounds good to me. That's what it would have taken for ds to fall asleep for someone else when he was very little and sometimes for me. I would have to hold him very tight while he struggled, yes sometimes it made him mad, but usually it was because he was overtired.

the kid I watch once a week (who will no longer sleep for me at all, his mom comes and naps him) was the same way. Even with his dad it would take 20-30mins of being contained and crying.

I think holding a struggling kid while they cry (ie crying in arms) is better than leaving them alone to cry until they fall asleep.

Also consider most people would not want to hold a kid everyday while they cry until they fall asleep (hell ds had colic and cried from 5-9pm EVERYNIGHT for months, I didn't want to hold him, but I'm his mama so I did). I am pretty sure they tried other ways to get him to go to sleep (not to mention in many states its illegal for a daycare center to let a kid sleep in a swing)

All I am saying is that you were there one day, you don't know what they have tried and you don't know what the parents have said (maybe that's the only way he goes to sleep at home too).

[ChristaN]

Like others have said, I'd be inclined to go with, "it depends on the kid." My oldest was a very, very challenging baby, toddler, and preschooler. She's a great 11 y/o now, but when she was a little person she threw amazing fits of screaming, struggling physically, etc. It was nearly impossible to get her to sleep and there were times when she was hysterical over something where I had to hold her tighter than probably looked great to an outsider while she struggled against me screaming. The alternative would have been to let her hurt herself as she screamed and thrashed about slamming into walls or the bars of a crib.

Incidentally, we just gave up naps all together with her when it became apparent that it wasn't doing her any good and she didn't need the sleep. She always slept less than the typical baby/toddler and was totally done napping before 18 months. I'm not sure what I would have done if she had needed to attend formal childcare beyond the few nights/week where she went to an in-home care while I was in grad school. She would have been an easy baby to wind up getting abused b/c she was so challenging and tried your patience so much.

[Aeress]

I remember my early Early Care and Education observations very well and I can tell you after teaching and being a parent is that the child may have needed that time, and a struggling baby crying for Mom would be ok by me.
My middle dd wouldn't nap, yet would be absolutely inconsoleable(sp?) if she didn't. She would scream and cry and have melt down after melt down if she didn't nap but if you helped her nap, she would cry and struggle for about 10minutes before falling asleep.
Some kids just need to "get it out" and other techniques won't work.

My youngest was a rocker, a very fast rocker and jiggler. You had to do those things or she wouldn't fall asleep. I took care of a little guy who needed a weighted blanket or steady pressure on his lower back or he wouldn't be able to calm for the whole day.

Each kiddo is different and as long as you are honest with the parents and communicate nap concerns, I can say that must teachers are doing what works and have probably tried everything. Group care, even high quality group care, is still difficult. And remember, maybe this is how Mom/Dad have asked that the child be put to sleep.

[JL83]

If the baby was old enough to cry "mommy", then the baby was almost definitely too old to go in something like a swing or alternative to a crib.

It comes down to them being required to have the baby nap at that particular time. Maybe the kid was new and still getting used to the daycare's schedule.

[Purple*Lotus]

Generally, in an infant room, nap time is "on demand", as in, the kids sleep when they want to sleep.

If the child was talking, it makes me think it was more of a toddler type environment, where there is usually a scheduled nap time. However, that generally entails patting a child's back gently, soft music, speaking quietly, that kind of thing. What you described is not appropriate

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber

I dunno sounds good to me. That's what it would have taken for ds to fall asleep for someone else when he was very little and sometimes for me. I would have to hold him very tight while he struggled, yes sometimes it made him mad, but usually it was because he was overtired.

DS was the same way. There were times we just had to hold him until he finally gave over to the exhaustion.

[lach]

Originally Posted by JL83

It comes down to them being required to have the baby nap at that particular time. Maybe the kid was new and still getting used to the daycare's schedule.

This would be my guess. I think that most kids get used to the daycare schedule pretty quickly (the centers are usually very good about establishing a naptime routine that the kids grasp and accept), and even very young kids understand a basic level of "hmm, everyone else is doing it, maybe I should too..." peer pressure. I would be very surprised if this child was doing this over an extended period of time. For longer than about two weeks, before he figured out that he just had to accept naptime.

[prothyraia]

Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades

DS was the same way. There were times we just had to hold him until he finally gave over to the exhaustion.

[ChristaN]

I don't know why there seems to be a question about an older infant being able to say "mommy." Aren't most babies saying at least a few words by the time they are getting close to one? I know that some aren't, but it isn't like she was saying that he was verbalizing lengthy, grammatically correct sentences. I wouldn't automatically assume that this was a toddler room rather than an infant room just b/c he could say one word.

[Janette21]

The baby wasn't new there. I have went to that center one time before when he was a slightly younger baby during another one of my school semesters. I think maybe he has some security issues. I don't know. It's hard to say because I don't know the whole family situation. Although I do remember near the end of that day, his mother and the teacher were talking about how there used to be a baby in the center who constantly cried and they were saying it was probably because the mother "held him too much and spoiled him too much". And the teacher also told me how this younger baby boy that she has in her classroom always crys a lot because he always wants to be held. She said she would just sit in her rocking chair and let him cry it out in his crib. Sometimes for a whole hour! I was shocked when she told me this! I mean I can understand if her hands were full with other infants and not being able to go to the crying baby right away. But if she has the time to sit in a rocking chair then I don't see why she couldn't have soothed him and held him while she rested in the chair?

But that was kinda off topic, sorry! But about the age thing, this was an infant room. The older baby was 14 months, almost going on 15 months. They move the children to the toddler classroom once they turn 15 months. Sorry for all of the confusion!

About the holding part, I gave a lot of thought into it. And I decided it isn't something I would ever do, although I respect others decisions for chosing the holding technique. I think the true reason he was crying out "Mommy!" was because of the attitude of the teacher. She didn't look too happy about nap time and seemed a little frustrated. I think the infant would of handled the situation a lot more easier if she wasn't so frustrated and maybe tried to talk to him softly, rub his back while she held him, etc. I think the baby sensed that she was very frustrated and reacted the way he did because he did not like being around all of her negativity. But thank you all so much for all of your replys! I greatly appreciate it!

[lauren]

Moving to Working and Student Parents due to focus on child care and not education.

[akind1]

I agree; having babysat since age 11 and worked in CDC for 2 years, sometimes holding the baby close like that may be what worked to get them to sleep. I don't know what the cribs looked like in that room, but the ones where I worked it would be difficult to pat the child's back to go to sleep, although this is the method I used with my preschoolers and was also used in the one-yearold and toddler rooms - basically when kids were moved to a cot rather than a crib. I did have a 3 year old once that practically needed to be swaddled to take a nap. that was not fun.

I don't think, in general, it is standard practice to hold the baby that close for that long, but sometimes will depend on the child.

[Janette21]

Whoops!!!!!

Originally Posted by lauren

Moving to Working and Student Parents due to focus on child care and not education.

Okay, no problem. I wasn't sure exactly what topic to put it under. Sorry about that!

[shanniesue2]

I will be another mom to chime in and say that holding a child while they cry to sleep is sometimes necessary (depending on the child). I heard one mom on MDC refer to it as "crying it down." And I've known children who have a SERIOUSLY tough time getting to sleep. It's so obvious that they still NEED the nap. And yet, they just can't seem to hold their bodies still enough for long enough to wind down and get to sleep. And in those cases, I think that an adult helping a child/baby be still so they can get to sleep is appropriate. And it might not even be an every day thing. Babies/children go through all sorts of phases. And sometimes they just have a rough day. There have been more than one night/day where I've had to hold my son down to get him to be still long enough to fall asleep (and sleep was what he desperately needed). The only other option on those days was to let him get up and continue to run around through his exhaustion till the point that he was overexhausted (which would have made it way more difficult to help him get to sleep).
In the situation you described I think it's likely the frustration and anger that the caregiver was expressing was probably not helping. Children are very sensitive and if a caregiver isn't relaxed the child is probably going to have a hard time relaxing as well. That said, as the mother of a child who can take as long as an hour or more to fall asleep... it does get very frustrating to sit their for what seems like FOREVER with a child trying to help them get to sleep.

Originally Posted by stik

.

Strategies I have observed in use include putting the baby in a swing instead of a crib,

Having worked in a NAEYC facility (and during an accreditation year), I can tell you that swings are not allowed. NAEYC will not allow swings, exersaucers, high chairs, etc. Really the only "baby-putter-inners" that are allowed are cribs, (but only if the baby is asleep) and strollers, but baby cannot sleep in the stroller.

Originally Posted by Janette21

She said she would just sit in her rocking chair and let him cry it out in his crib. Sometimes for a whole hour!

This is something that goes against NAEYC standards. For one, babies are NOT supposed to be in their cribs if they are not asleep (of course, there are reasonable allowances if the caregiver is taking care of other babies and can't get to the "awake in the crib" baby immediately). Secondly, children are supposed to be responded to when they cry.

[claddaghmom]

DD could say boobah and mama at 3 months. I'm curious about the age of the infant b/c I could see a younger infant responding to a tight hold (swaddling arms I suppose?) An older infant, I would consider that a process of breaking the infant's will. It would have stressed me out to see that and I sincerely hope it was something the individual baby needed.

Then again, I've never experienced an infant or toddler that responded to being held against his/her will by giving up and falling asleep. The rest of my comments are sure to be abrasive so I will stop here.

[dogretro]

I will preface this by saying that I have a degree in child development and I worked in a daycare w/ infants and toddlers for 2 or 3 years before dd was born. So, not trying to be nasty, just blunt

Originally Posted by Janette21

It's hard to say because I don't know the whole family situation.

That, right there, is the main point. His teachers are w/ him all day, not you, and they should know at this point what works for him and what doesn't. Some kids really do need to be almost pinned down to some degree to get them to sleep, even if they are totally ready for a nap. It can also be EXTREMELY disruptive for some of the students to have visitors in the classroom, even if it is just for an hour or two.[/quote]

Although I do remember near the end of that day, his mother and the teacher were talking about how there used to be a baby in the center who constantly cried and they were saying it was probably because the mother "held him too much and spoiled him too much".

We used to talk about how parents who are sending their kids to a daycare center need to prep them for it by putting them down. When you have 3 adults and 8 babies, having one who keeps demanding to be held all day is incredibly draining and it's pretty much impossible to hold them as much as they want. I used to carry my babies around in a sling & for a couple of them, even that wasn't enough, but I had other kids to take care of, too, kwim?[/quote]

And the teacher also told me how this younger baby boy that she has in her classroom always crys a lot because he always wants to be held. She said she would just sit in her rocking chair and let him cry it out in his crib. Sometimes for a whole hour! I was shocked when she told me this! I mean I can understand if her hands were full with other infants and not being able to go to the crying baby right away. But if she has the time to sit in a rocking chair then I don't see why she couldn't have soothed him and held him while she rested in the chair?

Purposely allowing a child to cry that long is against the NAYCE (and other organizations') regulations, so you are definitely right there! The limit for being awake in a crib is 15 minutes.

About the holding part, I gave a lot of thought into it. And I decided it isn't something I would ever do, although I respect others decisions for chosing the holding technique. I think the true reason he was crying out "Mommy!" was because of the attitude of the teacher. She didn't look too happy about nap time and seemed a little frustrated. I think the infant would of handled the situation a lot more easier if she wasn't so frustrated and maybe tried to talk to him softly, rub his back while she held him, etc. I think the baby sensed that she was very frustrated and reacted the way he did because he did not like being around all of her negativity.

You would be frustrated too if you had to hold a kicking and squirming toddler every day to get him to fall asleep, lol! No, it probably was NOT the highlight of the teacher's day! And never say never. As the teachers probably told you, Every child is different. They just are. You learn a ton of great theory in your college classes & then you get into your job and that is where the real learning begins. The very main thing is, daycare is not home. The teachers do everything they can to take the best care of their charges, but the reality is that being home w/ a couple of your own kids is way different than being at work w/ 4 kids who are v close in age. I can easily take care of 3 infants & toddlers, but that does mean a lot of their time is spent not being held. Physically, even sitting in a rocker, I can only hold 2 at a time! And there are many regulations to follow, esp w/ NAYCE (don't even get me started on their ridiculousness). Even when I had a baby in a sling, I still had to pick up an 18-month-old and lay him on the changing table, change his diaper, then hold him up to the sink and wash his hands. No, I couldn't just change him on the floor, there are regs!

FTR, swings are often not used in daycares b/c they are tipping hazards due to the possibility of the other young children pulling or pushing on them. There is also the v real possibility of teachers leaving the babies in them all day, which is neglectful, so centers may avoid them for that reason. Size of the room is also a consideration.

This is definitely the time when you are learning and observing so many things when it comes to children, parenting, and care giving. You will see that many of your ideals will change over time. There will be things that you think are okay now that in a few years you will not believe that you ever did. Conversely, there are methods & situations that you will perceive as absolutely silly, but later come to embrace. After staying at home and doing a lot of reading for personal interest, there are many many things that I can no longer stand about mainstream daycare centers. I could def work in one again, there would just be a lot of modifications in my room, lol. Your personal style will come w/ time & experience. It is good that you are taking in what others are doing and deciding whether or not it is right for you. Just remember, when you come to observe a room, you are a visitor who is only there for a short amount of time in the life of the classroom. Taking care of large groups of small children is a v stressful job even if you like it and are good at it. I still think fondly of all my kiddos and miss most of them a lot

[Ellien C]

I don't know that what you observed is typical of "day care centers." It's what you saw at one center. I also don't know what advice the parents have given to the providers in terms of helping the child to nap. You said you saw him asleep once and then fighting another time. Do you know that this in-arms struggle happens every time the kid falls asleep? Overall, I'm just seeing a lot of generalizations in your post.

You might start by asking some questions of the little boys provider in a general, non-threatening way. Like - wow! That's a lot of work. Is it like this every time? Have you talked to the parents? Is it like this at home? Do they know how difficult it is for you the provider to help him to nap? Have you tried anything else? This is good practice for when you will be addressing parents.