Why not use a pacifier? - Page 3

[Path2Felicity]

Originally Posted by lindsayjean

I'm in the pro-paci camp. And honestly, I don't care if other AP moms judge me for it. I am very attached to both of my kids and the paci has not interfered with that, or our breastfeeding relationship at all. Both of my kids took them starting at like a week (or maybe sooner!) because both had/have an intense need to suck and I have oversupply issues. My DD would literally make herself projectile vomit from my crazy letdown. They actually thought she had reflux (nope... just a mom with a crazy letdown and supply).

I don't use it in place of parenting at all. I don't just shove a paci in their mouth to shut them up. I pick them up, comfort them, etc... a paci just helps them because they both just LOVE to suck and I just can't be a human paci and deal with all the vomit.

We are very crunchy and attached... cosleep, lots and lots of babywearing, etc.... so I am not concerned that the paci is taking my place in anyway. Although, I must say, if I have to choose between my baby SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER everytime we get in a car, or a pacifer, I'm going to choose a pacifer. Both my kids HATE HATE HATE the car and my DD didn't get better with it until she finally turned to front facing. So the paci was my friend on car trips!!!

Mama, no need to justify yourself to anyone- I'm sure you're an awesome, crunchy, attached mother I only wish my DD took the paci... instead she sucks on my arm, my clothes, her blanket, my breast, etc... she's JUST starting to suck on her hand but she doesn't enjoy it all that much.

To those of you whose baby takes the paci: do you all recommend a brand that I can use? I've tried the NUK, Playtex, Avent, Soothies. None seem so to work.

How did you all get your babies to take the paci?

[organicmommy05]

My daughter used a paci with no issues. She gave up the paci at 6 months on her own and is still nursing at 18 months.

[hakeber]

Path2Felicity, My DS only tookthe round tipped brown rubber ones. The Nuk flat tips fell out every time and eventually he'd just spit those out if you even tried. The thing we did and now do with DD to get them to take the paci is to give them, then gently press the tip into the roof of the mouth and gently slowly pull it out, and get them to pla tug of war, then when they have a good grasp, let go.

I read somewhere that the flat tips fall out and they are not recommended for babies who are breastfed, because the shape is not natural for them, the round tips are better for breastfed babies, but they don't seem that easy to find anymore.

My ds also spit his out at 6 months and he breastfed until he was just over three years old.

[SusanaLaLoca]

I don't know, I have no problem with them. But my DS is very selective about when he will take it. And usually even if he'll take it, he won't keep it in his mouth for long. Basically, he can pretty much take it or leave it. It's more hassle to play the fell-out-rinse-it-off-put-it-in game with him than to just forget it. And honestly I don't think he misses them.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley

My only only only one tiny little problem with them - is them being forced on babies. I have seen that too. Babies that are not sucky at all. Babies that have them shoved into their mouthes to 'shut them up' (usually the parent will mumble that). They are usually crying and upset for other reasons (like - simply wanting to be held and not always stuck in some contraption). They spit it out over and over again but eventually the baby gives up and takes the only comfort it can get. That is the only problem I have with them. Though I can tell you, these are not the kind of parents I generally hang out with.

[mamadelbosque]

By the time I'd have been comfortable using a paci (~2 months or so), my boys had both found their fingers and I just didn't see the point - at least fingers can't be lost!!

[1blueheron]

Originally Posted by cyclamen

My mom grew up in a "Traditional breastfeeding" society. Granny did quite a bit of nursing in her remembrance. If mom wasn't around, another woman would be.

So this idea that "it's natural" for mom to provide all nursing and comfort suckling seems to me another example of both a noble savage sort of myth and another way of leveraging guilt on women by expecting them to do something alone that in most cases would have been done in community.

I find this SO interesting. DH and I used to joke that it was a good thing there were no other babies around during our early nursing days, b/c I woulda been grabbin' em and force-feeding. (DD did not even come close to being able to keep up until like 2 months old. did my body think we'd had twins or something?!) I seriously would have been happy to serve as the neighborhood wet nurse.

With my initial oversupply and OALD, we did/do use a pacifier. Her feelings toward it are lukewarm but she clearly wants an alternative sometimes.

[Bebe's Mom]

I think that pacifiers have their place, and they can be a lifesaver for some parents. However, in our society they are overused to an alarming extent. I have seen MANY five year olds with a pacifier in their mouths, which just makes me furious with their parents.That is just pure laziness/neglect on the part of the parent (bordering on abuse IMO).

I agree that many babies need to suck. I was lucky-My DD did and does not use a pacifier, she does not suck on her fingers anymore, and she nursed just great from the get go. I never offered her a paci, and she didn't seem to need it, since I am her pacifier, lol.

She is now 9 months old. She sucked on her fingers from birth to about 6 months and then stopped. I found it strange that she didn't want to suck on her thumb, since I did until I was five, but she just was not interested.

So, if you need one, great, but don't overuse it. It is a tool, just like any other.

BTW, I also hate how babies look with a paci in their mouths...Not sure why I feel so strongly about it, but according to my mother, I hated them when I was a toddler too-to the point where I would pull them out of other kids' mouths and throw them on the ground!

[Nicole730]

The only thing I don't care for about pacifiers is how they look on the baby's face. DD does take one, and has since she was a few days old. (No problems with nursing for us b/c of it) I realized she needed one when she was quite fussy - but wouldn't nurse, didn't need a diaper, her body temp was fine, etc... I put the paci in her mouth and she fell straight asleep.

Now we use it if she is tired and having trouble falling asleep. Once she spits it out, then it's out for good. I don't care for using it when she is awake, but DH will still stick it in her mouth.

[bubbamummy]

I was super worried about giving DD one. I waited until 4 weeks and they were the worst 4 weeks ever. She screamed and screamed everynight as she wanted to suck and as soon as my milk let down she would scream again. I have a 2-year old and a military husband who is gone...It was killing me-literally. With so much screaming it was affecting how I parented my other child which wasnt fair. I tried everything, I wore her all evening, walked, bounced, allowed her constant access to the boob nothing worked. i would cry during the day with the dread of what that evening would hold...then I gave her a paci and life is SOOOOOO much better. Its like she said 'thankyou mummy, that's all I wanted' Im happier and so is she...I cant believe I waited.

[jdg]

I had never seen any real reason to use one. I didn't mean to give my daughter one and hadn't bought any, but after an evening when she was on me comfort-nursing for over an hour, then started screaming to nurse again 20 minutes later, stayed on for another hour, and started screaming to nurse again after about 20 minutes... I went out and bought a paci. She's only 29 days old now and has had a paci for about 8 of those days. It's been wonderful for our nursing relationship as I don't think I could have managed too many evenings of being a human paci without going crazy (or just being in too much pain from the constant sucking to want to continue nursing).

I had also considered giving her a paci because I don't want her sucking on her fingers for comfort. I was a finger-sucker and could not break the habit. I remember being in 1st and 2nd grades and sucking on my fingers, having major social problems with my classmates because of it, and just NOT being able to break the habit no matter how much I wanted to. I don't know how it will turn out, but after my own experience with it, I would prefer to break her of a paci down the road than have her sucking her fingers.

[karika]

Originally Posted by jess5377

I'm just curious, what do people see as wrong with pacifiers? In other words, why would they not want to use them?

Are they seen as a "crutch"? Is it about nipple confusion? plastics in the mouth? orthodontic development?

I read this post then most of the ones following. Most of the posts are about why pacifiers are used. I find this strange. To me it is reminiscent of how people defend mainstream parenting practices in other areas. It sounds like the OP wanted to hear reasons why not to use a pacifier, there are ample places to find out why people do.

I do not use a pacifier for the same reasons I do not use formula or bottles or feeding chairs or cribs or baby buckets or playpens. I try (unsuccessfully I admit a lot) to be as natural as possible within this environment and society. My baby uses my breasts for her sucking needs. My breasts adjust to the stimulus. I did notice with dd2 that there were times that she would suck and if milk came out she would seem somehow not happy about that. So she would adjust her sucking rhythm or change sides.

I do not think it is good to allow children to put plastics in their mouth (although many of the toys we have are plastic due to that is what was given by others, what was available, etc.) on a regular basis. It has been proven that there are chemicals in the plastics that are dangerous (BPA, etc). There have also been many times things made in China have been found to contain lead or other harmful things that were not supposed to be in the child toy or plate or item. I don't want to have any more possibilities added to my child's already existing environmental load.

Most plastics are a product of crude oil. I did not know this until this year. I do not support oil and its use any more. I believe alternatives should be used as much as possible. I make a pointed effort not to buy any new plastic now. I still use what I have, but do not wish to support oil and the wars and environmental problems it creates and perpetuates (spills, plastic sand, pacific trash field which is mostly plastics)

I believe the use of pacifiers begins the weaning process. I believe it most likely will cause orthodontic problems. I believe plastics contain dangerous chemicals which leach out over time and with use. I believe children are born wanting to suck for a reason and that reason is completed by the shape of my breast nipple.

There are reasons for people to use them. But this thread is supposed to be about why we don't use them I thought.

[ewe+lamb]

We decided not to use them - even with horrendous OS and OALD issues - my milk would spray across the room and hit the wall over 12 ft away - I kid you not - poor babies, anyhow I'm OT, after seeing my niece with a dummy in her mouth and one in each hand constantly for the first 4 years of her life and I really mean constantly I couldn't do it to my kids, our ds is still nursing at 4 but there is a difference between nursing 2x a day and wandering around with a dummy and two extras all the day long, and then they get lost at night in bed and everyone has to get up to sooth a crying child and find the darned dummy in the dark, it's so much easier when they are just not present - or at least that's my experience with them.

BTW my dh is from North Africa and was poor growing up, breastfed until he was 4 or 5 tandemed along with sisters etc, no-one had any dummies there and many mothers who have not been so westernised cannot see the use for them, my MIL hates them, however to be seen being more modern is to give bottles and use dummies - hmmm makes you think, but then the community over there is far more that a child is raised by the community and not just a family, nursing other mothers' children was, and in some cases now not uncommon.

PS for the mother who posted that her mother has had a hysterectomy - mothers that have been through this sort of surgery can have a milk supply, although it may be more than your mother is willing to do, but it is possible!!!

[Chryseis]

I don't use pacifiers primarily because I'm lazy. I don't have any terribly strong feelings for or against the things (well, okay, I really don't like it when talking toddlers still have them, I can't understand them). I've just always thought it looked terribly difficult to hold onto and keep clean tiny little pacifiers. None of my children have had a terribly strong sucking need, so I've never had to really think about whether to use one or not. I will admit to feeling relief every time I hear a friend talking about trying to get rid of the pacifier. It's a struggle I'm glad I've never had to deal with.

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by karika

I read this post then most of the ones following. Most of the posts are about why pacifiers are used. I find this strange. To me it is reminiscent of how people defend mainstream parenting practices in other areas. It sounds like the OP wanted to hear reasons why not to use a pacifier, there are ample places to find out why people do.

I do not use a pacifier for the same reasons I do not use formula or bottles or feeding chairs or cribs or baby buckets or playpens. I try (unsuccessfully I admit a lot) to be as natural as possible within this environment and society. My baby uses my breasts for her sucking needs. My breasts adjust to the stimulus. I did notice with dd2 that there were times that she would suck and if milk came out she would seem somehow not happy about that. So she would adjust her sucking rhythm or change sides.

I do not think it is good to allow children to put plastics in their mouth (although many of the toys we have are plastic due to that is what was given by others, what was available, etc.) on a regular basis. It has been proven that there are chemicals in the plastics that are dangerous (BPA, etc). There have also been many times things made in China have been found to contain lead or other harmful things that were not supposed to be in the child toy or plate or item. I don't want to have any more possibilities added to my child's already existing environmental load.

Most plastics are a product of crude oil. I did not know this until this year. I do not support oil and its use any more. I believe alternatives should be used as much as possible. I make a pointed effort not to buy any new plastic now. I still use what I have, but do not wish to support oil and the wars and environmental problems it creates and perpetuates (spills, plastic sand, pacific trash field which is mostly plastics)

I believe the use of pacifiers begins the weaning process. I believe it most likely will cause orthodontic problems. I believe plastics contain dangerous chemicals which leach out over time and with use. I believe children are born wanting to suck for a reason and that reason is completed by the shape of my breast nipple.

There are reasons for people to use them. But this thread is supposed to be about why we don't use them I thought.

I also do not use pacis for the above reasons. IT IS possible not to use them. I had 3 babes in 3 years and an overactive supply and still am not. If my currant babe is engorged on milk but just wants to suck I give him my finger to suck or he sucks his own. To me, pacis are such a poor, fake, substitute for the real thing. I actually think that they are damaging on many levels. And ugly too. I also agree though that in our cultures it is sad that mothers are so alone in their mothering many times and have to "do it all".