Is this the "Terrible Two's"?

[organicpapayamama]

I really hate calling it that but you all know what I mean by saying it. DS just turned 22 months old. He has never slept through the night once. His usual sleep routine is to wake maybe 4-6 times a night and ask for a bottle of milk. As soon as he gets it he will go back to sleep and the whole thing only wakes me for a few seconds. Once in a blue moon he would wake up crying. Seriously, like maybe once a month or so. He would wake up crying for no apparent reason. He would let me cuddle with him and console him and put him back to sleep which usually takes no more than 5 min and will end with him drinking from his bottle.

So fast forward to now. I am expecting again, Im almost 7 months along. (keep in mind Im a single mama so this has been a bit challenging) Im not sure if DS has picked up on that a baby is coming and he is going to have to fight for attention... or perhaps the pregnancy drain is making him feel neglected... at any rate the last week or so he has been waking up EVERY SINGLE NIGHT crying. And not once but at least 2-5 times a night. And this time with his crying he will not let me touch him, or console him, or feed him or even cover him with the blanket. He just wants to be left alone to cry. I try and get him comfortable again and let him take a few seconds to decide that he is ready to be comforted. Finally after 5 min or so he eventually lets me feed him and comfort him and he will only fall asleep if I am patting his booty. This is getting exhausting and I cant imagine this happening with a newborn. (I cosleep with ds and plan to with the new LO as well)

Then during the day DS has gotten VERY clingy. He follows me around the house. If I am washing dishes he will either cling to my leg the whole time or ask me to pull up a chair and "help" wash the dishes. He is constantly asking for me to pick him up. My back is killing me already with this pregnancy so picking up a 45 pound toddler isnt an option most of the time. I do spend time with him doing learning activities and games and such but it seems its not enough for him. If Im sitting on the couch he will want to sit right smack next to me (which is cute and I love) or on top of me. Dont get me wrong, I love to cuddle with DS. I love how affectionate he is but this clingy-ness has gotten way worse in the last week. He also has been crying more than usual. He cries if I dont pick him up, he cries if I dont put on the movie he wants to see, he cries if I dont look his way... he cries and cries and cries.

Its not horribly bad but I have noticed a change in DS and Im not sure what it is. Ive been reading on the terrible twos online and many stories are much worse than what DS is going through. Maybe he has a mild case? idk. what do you mamas think? Maybe its just a growth spurt...I know his molars are not coming in yet so thats not it.

[organicpapayamama]

anyone?

[Luke's mama]

Just some thoughts from other discussion threads I have read...

could he be sick, have a fever, have an ear infection? Could you take him to the doctor to get checked out?

could he have any food allergies?

You are sure it is not teething?

Do you think it is a response to a new milestone, like talking more?

Do you cosleep? If not, do you think that would help you get more rest? DS is 21 mos and his bottom canines are coming in, but I am getting frustrated with him waking up and wanting to nurse 4 times a night!!!

How long has this been going on? I guess my money would be on an ear infection or other illness if it not just something developmental.

Hope he feels better soon.

[Dea]

I wonder too if he's having a growth spurt, could that be hurting him?
have you talked to him about the baby? Are you responding to him differently? Like not being able to pick him up as much as you used to. He could be noticing that.
I hope it gets better for you!
Oh and I agree about co sleeping. SO much easier! (for my family at least)

[slgt]

DD 24 mos. has gone through similar phases over the past 6 months. Not so much the crying, but definitely the I-dont-know-what-I-want. She was waking nightly and would be awake for at least an hour, and would only settle if I was in the room for her. Sometimes I could rock her, sometimes I could snuggle with her on a mattress on the floor, sometimes I could just lie on the mattress with her in her bed, and she didn't want physical contact.

On the flip side, she has been incredibly clingy all day long, always "I want to snuggah Mama". Whenever she sees me.

I'm guessing it is just a phase with your DS. Maybe development, maybe 2-year molars, maybe getting ready to change sleep patterns. We are seeing a lot of developmental changes in DD, and I'm guessing they are disruptive.

It IS exhausting, when all you want to do is sleep. Try to set up someplace comfortable for yourself in DS's room, or like PP said think about co-sleeping. Co-sleeping doesn't work in our house - DD just thinks it's social time! But I found that i was able to just kind of fall asleep in DD's room with her, drift in and out, even if she was awake.

[organicpapayamama]

Thanks everyone for the input.

Originally Posted by Luke's mama

Just some thoughts from other discussion threads I have read...

could he be sick, have a fever, have an ear infection? Could you take him to the doctor to get checked out?

could he have any food allergies?

You are sure it is not teething?

Do you think it is a response to a new milestone, like talking more?

Do you cosleep? If not, do you think that would help you get more rest? DS is 21 mos and his bottom canines are coming in, but I am getting frustrated with him waking up and wanting to nurse 4 times a night!!!

How long has this been going on? I guess my money would be on an ear infection or other illness if it not just something developmental.

Hope he feels better soon.

We do cosleep, for sure no molars are coming in. I think he may be getting sick as he had a slight runny nose last night so perhaps that is it. This has been going on for about a week now.

[rozziemama]

mama,
I don't have any advice, but I had to respond with a hug and support, and to say that I am experiencing the exact same thing with my 15 mo DS right now. Only I'm NOT expecting #2, so I am not in it as bad as you, though I've not gotten any sleep for about 2 weeks now and am really losing my mind.
We are about to do "sleep training" or whatever you want to call it. I don't really want to call it that, but basically a change needs to happen FAST, or the whole family is going to fall apart.
If your situation is the terrible twos, what does that mean for us?! we've 9 months left to go!
if you figure out solutions, or if a change happens miraculously on your own, please share. thanks and good luck!

[Teenytoona]

OP, I wonder if he's on the verge of some major developmental stage. Lots of times kids will get restless and cranky and make sleep harder right before something big happens (growth spurt, suddenly clearer speech, something like that). My other thought was teething.

[rightkindofme]

My daughter is doing the same thing at 20 months. It's... not my favorite. I'm also pregnant and I think that for us it is definitely because I am less playful/interactive during the day. And she has had a cold for a week. ugh.

And temper tantrums are starting. Not my favorite.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Teenytoona

OP, I wonder if he's on the verge of some major developmental stage. Lots of times kids will get restless and cranky and make sleep harder right before something big happens (growth spurt, suddenly clearer speech, something like that). My other thought was teething.

OOOO thats exciting! I certainly hope so!

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by Teenytoona

OP, I wonder if he's on the verge of some major developmental stage. Lots of times kids will get restless and cranky and make sleep harder right before something big happens (growth spurt, suddenly clearer speech, something like that). My other thought was teething.

Ooh that would be exciting!

OP, it sounds like he knows the baby is coming soon. It seems to me like he just needs attention - and is demanding it in the only ways he knows how.

I think the whole terrible two thing is more about testing limits and pushing boundaries, not vying for attention. Well, it is, but it's a different kind of attention. I hope you and your LO get some sleep soon, and I hope you guys figure this out. It's got to be tough.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

Ooh that would be exciting!

OP, it sounds like he knows the baby is coming soon. It seems to me like he just needs attention - and is demanding it in the only ways he knows how.

I think it may be a combo of him knowing the baby is on the way and the little cold he caught. Although he rubs my tummy and says baby (because I taught him that) I dont think he really grasps the concept. I have new baby things at home and I tell him thats the babys when he tries to mess with it but I dont think he really knows whats going on. Im a single mama so its not like he hears me talking to someone else all day about the baby. Its just me and him. I do spend lots of quality time with him but he seems to want even more now. Ive never been one to give in to pick him up all the time so I dont think me cutting back a little would make waves. But I guess you never know. I dont think we give kids enough credit at times so perhaps he does have a better idea of whats going on.

[Picard]

Our DS is just a month or so younger than yours and he is exhibiting the same behaviour. I'm not pregnant. I think that our DS is acting this way because of teething, a sudden increase in the complexity of his speech, and a growth spurt. His arms and legs grew an inch overnight it seems. Lots going on at this age.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Picard

Our DS is just a month or so younger than yours and he is exhibiting the same behaviour. I'm not pregnant. I think that our DS is acting this way because of teething, a sudden increase in the complexity of his speech, and a growth spurt. His arms and legs grew an inch overnight it seems. Lots going on at this age.

thank you for sharing. DS was coming down with a little cold... he had a little runny nose and I gave him saline drops in his nose and it was gone the next morning. so I dont think he is ill. The crying has stopped at night, still VERY fussy, but he is still clingy and crying during the day. I do agree with you that there is some sort of growth spurt going on. He is drinking even more milk during the night now...