Dealing with everyone elses gender preference. - Page 3

[GuavaGirl]

I'm seriously fretting a tiny bit about next pregnancy because MIL and FIL both have said things like, "next time it better be a girl." FIL was actually disappointed at first when we said it was a boy. (he had 3 boys) Even with this baby, people were happy when we said it was a boy, but knowing that certain people would have been ecstatic if it were a girl, just really peeves me off. It almost makes you feel like you've done something wrong. So weird.

[Pinoikoi]

I haven't read two pages of comments, but my thoughts..

Specifically I think Western societies are highly influenced by consumerism/marketing to want girls..Girls are portrayed as the shoppers, and certainly fashion trends seem to reflect that.. men's clothing changes little, and a man's wardrobe is not nearly as complex as women's.. infant clothing follows suit- boys clothes is sailor, puppy, etc, but girls' clothing is a huge assortment of flowery, polka dotted, lacy, limitless fluff.. the assumption is that if a mother doesn't get to experience this percieved limitless abandonment in regards to fulfilling some suspected need to shop that we are somehow deprived..

It is a sad state of affairs but I definitely do see a correlation with the "need to shop for girls" idea..

I have 4 sons, and I think it's true that their wardrobe options are more limited.. and less "fun"... but really babies shouldn't be about shopping fun imho.

This baby is a girl, I am getting comments like, "oh good, now you're done!" well, actually we would have been done regardless of gender, but thanks for your unwanted input.

Originally Posted by freistms

We only wanted two kiddos, so when we had two girls, everybody kept telling us we needed to have a third so we could "try for a boy." This started from the time that DD2 was a newborn. Even my MOM tried to tell us that DH "needed" a son.

So just so you know: it happens just as much with daughters as with sons. The only difference is it's all about my DH needing a son instead of all about me needing a daughter. I don't get it at all either. I think it comes from an older generation that had different priorities and needs.

All my dp EVER hoped for was girls!

[GuavaGirl]

pinoikoi: Good observation. There's definitely a lot of truth in that...especially since other cultures value boys a lot more than girls for reasons that are valuable to that culture. (ie. working/money making abilities, no need to pay a dowry, carrying on the family name, etc.) It's just a little humorous that shopping may be the value behind a female gender preference in this culture.

[Pinoikoi]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

pinoikoi: Good observation. There's definitely a lot of truth in that...especially since other cultures value boys a lot more than girls for reasons that are valuable to that culture. (ie. working/money making abilities, no need to pay a dowry, carrying on the family name, etc.) It's just a little humorous that shopping may be the value behind a female gender preference in this culture.

It's too bad the gender preference for girls doesn't focus on their ability to bear life..

My father once told me that the reason he had daughters was because he could understand them- he could take them to the mall and buy them dresses and they would be happy.. now when I was a kid, I hate to say, that was true ... but as an adult the comment just rubs me the wrong way.

[CherryBomb]

We have three girls and we get the same crap.