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homeschooled kids are weird - Page 2

post #21 of 87
This was actually one of the reasons I didn't ever want to homeschool my dd. I knew some children who were homeschooled and a few adults from big families who were homeschooled and they were very wierd. I only decided to homeschool her recently because public school just wasn't working out this year. I have since met many normal children who are homeschooled in the activities we have been attending for children who are homeschooled. I think that you really have to get him around a lot of homeschooled children so he can see that there are many different types of people who are homeschooled, some may be wierd but many are not.
post #22 of 87
Heh. My boys were weird when they were in PS, and now they're still weird as homeschoolers. But I guess it depends on what is defined as weird. Not listening to the same music as the other kids? Not dressing the same way?

Actually, any other year, my 9 year old would be really weird because he's really into learning about greek gods. He's been that way for a while now. However, right now, it's cool to know them and talk about them because the Lightning Thief movie is going to be out soon.

And of course, there's always going to be a percentage of nut-balls no matter what the setting, homeschool, private, or public. But that's a completely different issue.
post #23 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocelotmom View Post
I can see two other issues your husband may be experiencing:

1. The Fundamentalist Christian homeschooler stereotype.
Although, of course, even that stereotype is unfair - it's preposterous to type all Fundamentalist Christian homeschoolers as "weird." - Lillian
post #24 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post
Stereotypes exist for a reason. I've met plenty of weird homeschoolers.
I'm not meaning to be argumentative about this, but I'll have to note that I honestly can't think of many weird homeschoolers I've met at all, and I've met a lot of homeschoolers. I don't doubt people when they say they've met a lot of weird ones, but I think that's probably not a universal experience.

Weird, huh? - Lillian
post #25 of 87
There is a norm where I live that I am glad to be weird in contrast to.

My children are respectful, responsible, kind, they do not see race, religious or economic differences, they give freely and help often. They are funny, silly and bright. They LOVE to learn and have individual interests and pursuits. They are kind even to mean or arrogant people but know how to walk away from BS and/or stand up for others. I am really proud of my homeschooled children. My neighbors really like and enjoy them. Strangers compliment them all the time when we are out and about.

We are not afraid of school. We do not think school would ruin them. We just do not agree with the direction of education in our schools and so we have chosen to be 'weird' and offer them something we feel will better serve them for life and higher education.

OP - I think it is best for you to share your heart and ideas with your dh and invite him to tell you his. Talk more about it and see where the dialogue takes you. Good luck!
post #26 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahlynne View Post
No offense to all the "weird" people out there, but "weird" kids come form "weird" families, public schooled, private schooled or homeschooled. That is really the end of the argument for me - cuz' I never met any weird kids while attending public school, right
I think children are ultimately socialized within the family--there are many different types of families, some flow more easily with society's "norms" and others do not. I think it's all relative.

I can recall hanging out with a bunch of friends in college and a guy smarting off about hsers--going on and on about how anti-social they are, ect--and one of my friends busting out laughing, looking at me. He got all flustered and couldn't believe that I had been HSed.

My kids are HSed now. My ds doesn't like to perform in front of groups (at age 7) but other than that, he's pretty normal.
post #27 of 87
I don't consider my kid to be weird. The again, her interests are probably different from those of the average 17 years old, as is her usual holiday wish list... but as far as fitting in socially with others she's fine.
post #28 of 87
Actually, our homeschool group used to hear from tour guides on a fairly consistent basis how much they enjoyed our kids. And we heard that from a business that ran outdoor adventures for teens - the homeschooled teens were by far their favorites because of their social skills and open minds. We considered their social grace to be one of the nicest benefits about homeschooling. And when we did a lot of remodeling at our house, we got lots of comments from various workers as to how unusually polite and respectful our son was in treating them like real people rather than as adults who were not worth bothering with. I've been trying to think of a homeschooler I thought was "weird," and honestly, no one has come to mind so far. - Lillian
post #29 of 87
People often stop me to tell me how well my children are behaved in public. Not sure if I really consider it a compliment. I've had a few going "no, really, they're just the most helpful, sweetest children!" I should hang out and watch other kids at the grocery store. Mine can't possibly be that different. The only thing I can think of is that maybe it's because they get along, which is definitely a benefit to homeschooling them.
post #30 of 87
Sorry, to everyone, if my post was too brief/offensive in nature. I think: more power to those who do not want to have conformist children. I am very pro-homeschool and even considering unschooling my daughter.

But, yes, I have come across stereotypical homeschoolers. And TETO I suppose, but they had lifestyles that I wouldn't want to be associated with, so I stopped being in that circle of friends.

I just think it should be clear that how a person dresses, what they believe in, how they act, etc are not caused by homeschooling. I know many of these homeschoolers left PS because they wanted to continue acting/dressing the way they were. And thus I think OP's DH is either leaning too heavily on a faux argument or really not thinking things through.
post #31 of 87
A serious question: Does your husband think your children are weird now?

They are still going to be the same children, being raised by the same parents.

If he thinks they are weird now, what is it about school that he thinks is going to magically make them "not weird"?

If he does not think they are weird now, what is it about teaching them more things at home does he think is going to make them weird?

Does he think that they are just going to wake up one day and "be weird"?

Or does he think they are going to gradually become weird, from being with their parents... the same parents who have not made them weird so far?
post #32 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillian J View Post
Actually, our homeschool group used to hear from tour guides on a fairly consistent basis how much they enjoyed our kids. And we heard that from a business that ran outdoor adventures for teens - the homeschooled teens were by far their favorites because of their social skills and open minds. We considered their social grace to be one of the nicest benefits about homeschooling.
We've had very similar feedback from a number of the museums/galleries/nature centres etc that we visit as part of our co-op.
post #33 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillian J View Post
Actually, our homeschool group used to hear from tour guides on a fairly consistent basis how much they enjoyed our kids. And we heard that from a business that ran outdoor adventures for teens - the homeschooled teens were by far their favorites because of their social skills and open minds. We considered their social grace to be one of the nicest benefits about homeschooling. And when we did a lot of remodeling at our house, we got lots of comments from various workers as to how unusually polite and respectful our son was in treating them like real people rather than as adults who were not worth bothering with. I've been trying to think of a homeschooler I thought was "weird," and honestly, no one has come to mind so far. - Lillian
I think what you're describing is what some people are talking about when they say that homeschooled children are weird.

Kids who know how to have an intelligent and respectful conversation with adults?! Oh the horror! Kids who want to spend time reading books and discussing the latest article about teleportation of energy in Popular Science magazine instead of spending all of their free time playing video games?! Ridiculous! Weird! (And obviously you're going to find many homeschooled kids who prefer to spend hours playing video games, I'm just throwing out an example.)

I've heard the homeschoolers are weird comments many times, and like Lillian I've yet to meet a homeschooling family that I thought was weird. But then it occurred to me that maybe I can't see it because we're one of those weird homeschooling families!

If this is what some people mean when they say that homeschooled kids are weird......well, I want my kids to be weird! Most of the "weird" kids I went to high school with are the most successful kids in our class!!! That's what I want for my kids, success in life, not popularity during the few years they spend as teenagers. And I was popular, and voted the friendliest (and it had nothing to do with promiscuity, I promise! ) so it's not that I had a hard time in school and want something different for my children. I just don't think conforming and being a "normal" kid is going to magically make my children have a good life.

I agree with claddaghmom that the OP needs to find a way for her DH to think this through. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to suggest she accomplish that other than printing out this post for him to read.
post #34 of 87
Many of my schooled friends, and me, would be insulted to hear that someone thought we were normal.

Now my little brother, he's quite normal and un-weird. He was also homeschooled.

As was his fiancee, lovely young woman, also confoundedly normal.
post #35 of 87
If your ds hasn't had any schooling, then how could how he's schooled result in what he asks for for Christmas?? :

Personally, if a kid has to go to school away from home, I'd rather see it happen in kindergarten and they get to come home by second grade. And definitely at home for middle school if there is any way in the world short of selling the family's home or living on beans and rice.

Upper elementary and middle school are just weird weird times in schools.
post #36 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Upper elementary and middle school are just weird weird times in schools.
And if you are into mainstream TV, all it takes is to watch a few tv shows to get an idea of how weird it is.
post #37 of 87
What is 'weird' anyway? To me, 'weird' is good unless it violates others, or prevents the individual from acheiving happiness. I am forum-crashing right now (sorry), as my children are/will be public schooled for now. However, this is my concern about sending my very unique child into public school. He is really a different, special, and interesting kid, and I don't want school to erase that. Everybody is 'weird' in some way, we just all learn ways to hide it. Public school speeds up that process so that children learn not to become targets. Some children are so good at hiding their weirdness that they become very bland. Bland is way worse than weird!
post #38 of 87
I agree with the other posters that his argument doesn't make sense, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I'd be mad that my husband was trying to make that decision without including me or taking my feelings into consideration if I were you.

for what its worth, I was public schooled and I've always been strange, and not well adjusted. I am afraid of driving, have zero self confidence and assume everyone hates me, and Im very afraid of getting a job outside the home.

I was friends with plenty of homeschoolers while I was in high school, and they have always been very social, nice, confident well adjusted people who are all going on to live very successful adult lives. I WISH I could have grown up in one of their families.
My brother really struggled in public school. my mom feels that public school made him feel like a failure, and thinks that if she had started homeschooling him sooner than she did, (she started when he was in 10th grade) that he might not have killed himself. who knows, but thats honestly one of the things she regrets.

Hope he comes around! Best of luck
post #39 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Personally, if a kid has to go to school away from home, I'd rather see it happen in kindergarten and they get to come home by second grade.
This is a good point. We ended up taking ds out of ps at the end of second grade. Sitting here thinking about it, I can't imagine having him home with us up until that point, and then putting him in ps. I don't think that would have been a good adjustment for him, at all.
post #40 of 87
My HSed DD is not weird--she is very socially intuitive, good at making friends, speaks well to people of all ages, and expresses herself well. She is well-behaved, easy to take places, and enjoys meeting new people. I get fabulous feedback from people about her all the time. She is just a pleasure to be around (usually ).

But, I can see how she could be boggled right now in large, unsupervised, same-age social groups. I've seen a bit of this in a few situations she's found herself in. She really doesn't "get" why kids would be mean to each other or make fun of people. She hasn't yet been forced to develop the coping strategies that most kids in school have to--how to walk that line of "how-to-not-get-picked-on-but-yet-not-pick-on-people". And for that, I am very thankful. She is too young, at age 6, to have to deal with the "mean girl" situations many of our same-age friends are having to in school. Those situations are ones that happen rarely outside of school, and she will have time to figure those out when she's had time to develop herself in a way that she likes. She is able to follow her own interests without worry that they are not cool enough interests for the other girls at school. I love seeing her shape herself instead of being shaped by kid group-think.

But, to some school-survival-socialized kids, it may seem weird that she likes Star Wars so much, or that she doesn't know what to do when kids are excluding someone.

My 4-yo DS would be weird anywhere, I think. He has ADHD, and is a very internal person on top of that. He is sweet, and people like him, but in a group, he's the one playing Legos by himself instead of running and chasing with the other kids. When he does chase with them, he spirals out-of-control and is likely to crash into people in his own special clueless way. But, though his behavior is something that would make him seem unusual as a homeschooler, he would be unusual at school, too. But at home, he will have the opportunity to be very successful, and come through it with a nice, healthy, high self-esteem.
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