homeschooled kids are weird - Page 3

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

If your ds hasn't had any schooling, then how could how he's schooled result in what he asks for for Christmas?? :

I think that's the point - that if goes to school, he'll be able to find out what he should be asking for. -Lillian

[pajamajes]

What is "weird"?

If by weird he means different from the societal norm, then I would view that as a very good thing.

[starlein26]

Isn't this why we all homeschool? To have weird children- thoughtful, mindful, independent, unfettered children...

[dannic]

Originally Posted by mariekitt24

My brother really struggled in public school. my mom feels that public school made him feel like a failure, and thinks that if she had started homeschooling him sooner than she did, (she started when he was in 10th grade) that he might not have killed himself. who knows, but thats honestly one of the things she regrets.

I am so sorry for your family's loss.

[mykdsmomy]

I have to chime in here too. I went to a private Catholic school for 8 years followed by 4 years in a Public High School.

I am "weird". I am socially awkward, have TONS of fears and anxiety, and have always had a hard time "fitting in".

This was all due to the fact that my parents (it was my mom mostly) sheltered us to the point of not allowing us to "experience" life without their constant control.

So social awkwardness is not just synonymous with "homeschoolers".

The bottom line is that the stereotype that homeschoolers are given is based on the fact that they (we) choose to school differently than the mainstream. That is what makes us "weird" in many people's eyes.

I wish I was homeschooled because maybe I could have bypassed the whole relentless harassment and teasing I endured as an elementary student. I knew I was different and didn't need to be harassed every day to drive that point home.

Sorry for the disjointed post. Just wanted to make those points

[2xy]

DS1 is kind and polite, but he is not outgoing, is somewhat reclusive, can spent hours and hours doing tedious, meticulous tasks (he spent about 10 straight hours last week designing and coloring new video game characters on Windows Paint), and talks about random, bizarre things and ideas. He's currently obsessed with conspiracy theories. He has friends but never initiates social activities. (Seriously....the kid is 18 and I feel like I'm still making playdates sometimes. Well, the parents of his friends are my friends, so they're usually group activities, but still.) It takes him a long time to warm up to people and he's not good at making small talk. He has no interest in clothes or other gadgets that modern teens like (cell phones or iPods), and his musical tastes range from Billy Joel to Queen to Metallica to Weird Al.

DS2 is much closer to being what Americans consider to be a "normal" teenager, except he doesn't act like a jerk and hasn't smoked pot. He has, however, been known to spontaneously burst into song in public places (stuff like "Build Me Up Buttercup") in order to embarrass his mother.

Guess which one has been to school....?

[2xy]

I wanted to add that we are a family of weirdos and are proud of it. DH and I went to public school all the way up, though. I'm glad my children are unique, interesting, and different. A lot of the teens I meet through various sources are just so bland and boring. All they seem to talk about is music, sports, and partying. Blech!

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by mariekitt24

for what its worth, I was public schooled and I've always been strange, and not well adjusted. I am afraid of driving, have zero self confidence and assume everyone hates me, and Im very afraid of getting a job outside the home.

I WOH for 14 years, but I stayed in the same job, which I'd really outgrown (in many ways - not all) after about a year, for 10 of them. I do drive now, but I didn't get my license until I was 37...and if dh were able to drive (he's legally blind) or we had fewer kids (I was pregnant with number 3 when I got my license), I probably wouldn't have ever done it.

I stil have almost no self-confidence and I don't assume everyone hates me, but I do assume they don't like me. As well as something like that can be tracked backwards...it's because of public school!

DS1 is in public school, and has never been homeschooled. He juggles, thought nothing of going to school wearing a Three Musketeers type hat, and plays an Ocarina in the classworm (when allowed). He's "weird". Who cares?

I do agree that a lot of the "homeschoolers are weird" comes from the fact that parents who have kids who are special needs and/or just "quirky" are more likely to seriously consider homeschooling than parents who have kids who are good at...blending, I guess? DH and I decided to homeschool dd1, because she's very volatile and very sensitive, and we just didn't think she'd thrive in a public school. There are people who would conclude that she has meltdowns and such because she's homeschooled, and would never consider that it might be the other way around.

[SpiderMum]

I was homeschooled and I am weird. The question is...is "weird" a bad thing?

What makes me weird? Well...I know who I am, what I want, and don't care about social pressures that try to force me into something that isn't right for me. I'm confident, I'm not bothered by insults, and I don't need anyone's approval to live my life. That's weird to a lot of people. I'm not afraid to be different or outside the mainstream...and that scares some folks.

That being said, I don't think that weird is a bad thing at all! I don't want to be like everyone else! Nor do I want to spend my life feeling bad if I happen to not be what I"m "supposed" to be! So if that's weird...well I don't ever want to be considered normal!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

I think that's the point - that if goes to school, he'll be able to find out what he should be asking for. -Lillian

Oh.

If it's that important to him, wouldn't it be easier to buy a T.V.? /tongue in cheek

[newbymom05]

Haven't read all the replies but want to say that my DH was the same way re: weirdness until we joined a h/s playgroup and he met some of the other families. Our group has seasonal family get-togethers and I arranged for playdates where he could swing by and see meet the moms and kids. That helped him see that many h/s'ers are pretty mainstream.

I also agree that it can be a chicken-and-egg argument--parents w/ higher needs kids seem more likely to homeschool. I know that's what made me consider it, not that my kid is "weird", but that he might need more attention than an overloaded kindy teacher could give. I was a high school teacher before becoming a SAHM and I can attest that there are plenty of weird kids in public school! Same for our homeschooling group.

[phathui5]

Dh and I both went to public school and were totally "weird" as children. School didn't fix our weirdness.

[philomom]

[QUOTE=chaoticzenmom;15046285]People often stop me to tell me how well my children are behaved in public. Not sure if I really consider it a compliment. I've had a few going "no, really, they're just the most helpful, sweetest children!" /QUOTE]

I got just the same compliments with my public schooled kids. Manners are important in our lives.

[Callimom]

Originally Posted by philomom

I got just the same compliments with my public schooled kids. Manners are important in our lives.

You seem to need some sort of validation for your public schooled kids. No one is dissing public school or saying that public schooled kids don't have manners. We're just discussing the fact that homeschooled kids don't equal weird, unsocialized psychopaths, and that putting kids in school will not by definition make them well socialized, well mannered or able to take social cues about appropriate interaction.

[Jenelle]

Originally Posted by Karenwith4

You seem to need some sort of validation for your public schooled kids.

You know, I noticed this also.

philomom, you also quoted someone back on page 1 -- I believe you thought they were talking about homeschooled children, but if you go back and read the quote, that person was making the point that there are plenty of schooled children who are weird. It seemed to me you were so eager to tell us about some homeschooled children you met who were "on their way to becoming sociopaths", that you didn't slow down and read what that person was really saying.

I guess I don't understand why someone who is happy with their choice to send their kids to public school, would feel the need to pop in and make comments like this. I don't ever frequent the "Learning at School" board, so I just don't understand. I can't imagine popping in to the threads over there, and making comments like "Well, my child can read also, and I homeschool him."

No one here is saying that going to public school = no manners.

[pajamajes]

Originally Posted by 2xy

DS1 is kind and polite, but he is not outgoing, is somewhat reclusive, can spent hours and hours doing tedious, meticulous tasks (he spent about 10 straight hours last week designing and coloring new video game characters on Windows Paint), and talks about random, bizarre things and ideas. He's currently obsessed with conspiracy theories. He has friends but never initiates social activities. (Seriously....the kid is 18 and I feel like I'm still making playdates sometimes. Well, the parents of his friends are my friends, so they're usually group activities, but still.) It takes him a long time to warm up to people and he's not good at making small talk. He has no interest in clothes or other gadgets that modern teens like (cell phones or iPods), and his musical tastes range from Billy Joel to Queen to Metallica to Weird Al.

DS2 is much closer to being what Americans consider to be a "normal" teenager, except he doesn't act like a jerk and hasn't smoked pot. He has, however, been known to spontaneously burst into song in public places (stuff like "Build Me Up Buttercup") in order to embarrass his mother.

Guess which one has been to school....?

Well, I think I sound a lot like your description of your oldest son and I went to public school so maybe...public school? :]

[craft_media_hero]

Yeah, my homeschooled kid is weird. And I hope she stays that way. She hasn't had all of her unique character slowly chipped away as she painfully learns to conform . . . she doesn't make comments about how she "hates herself" because she's not keeping up with the expectations of dress/hairstyle/weight that starts as early as 1st grade (and yes, I heard these exact words and more as I walked her across the playground to kindergarten last year, it's real). She thinks math is fun; now that's weird. She wants to figure out how to make gasoline-free cars. She doesn't care what her clothes look like. She thinks her parents are the coolest people in the world, cooler than any of her age-peers (which is how it should be! read "hold onto your kids"). She would be abhorrent of the cafeteria food waste, not blase about throwing 70% of your plate in the trash; her verbal skills are strikingly advanced compared to kids her age; I could go on.

I know plenty of "normal" adults who were homeschooled. Yes, there is the socially defunct oddball, like in any group of people, public-schooled or other-wise.

But for me, I don't WANT my kid to feel like she has to act/think like all of the other sheep in the herd, and that is a big reason why homeschooling is awesome! She has the opportunity to grow and learn and be comfortable in her goofy, intelligent, sometimes awkward self without feeling like she's on the spot or "weird" because she's a CHILD. She is who she is, and homeschooling lets her be that without any judgment.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Jenelle

I guess I don't understand why someone who is happy with their choice to send their kids to public school, would feel the need to pop in and make comments like this.

Actually, many MDC homeschooling moms feel the need to post in the learning at school forum about "this is why they homeschool" if any little problem is mentioned.

I have experience homeschooling ... so I feel qualified to comment on learning at home. My time spent homeschooling was deeply rewarding but ultimately not the best choice for our kids.

[LoMaH]

Originally Posted by 2xy

DS2 is much closer to being what Americans consider to be a "normal" teenager, except he doesn't act like a jerk and hasn't smoked pot. He has, however, been known to spontaneously burst into song in public places (stuff like "Build Me Up Buttercup") in order to embarrass his mother.

Guess which one has been to school....?

Let's see, his mom gets embarrassed by her ds's loud singing in public?
Hmm, I'll guess the *mom's* the one who went to school! LOL
(sorry, couldn't help myself.. yk, I'm kidding, right?)

[NightOwlwithowlet]

Okay, this is snarky, but when my sister was concerned about us home schooling our son, she and her husband made the weird kid comment. I looked at her and said, "Well both of you went to public school, right?" "Yes."
I smiled and said, "I think he'll be fine." My sister laughed, but her husband was pretty mad since he prides himself on being "normal middle class guy".

We home school because my son could not conform to social norm of school without severe anxiety, medication, and therapy, he was six. I'd rather he was a little weird, quirky, and happy then "normal" and depressed.