I think what you're describing is what some people are talking about when they say that homeschooled children are weird.
Kids who know how to have an intelligent and respectful conversation with adults?! Oh the horror! Kids who want to spend time reading books and discussing the latest article about teleportation of energy in Popular Science magazine instead of spending all of their free time playing video games?! Ridiculous! Weird! (And obviously you're going to find many homeschooled kids who prefer to spend hours playing video games, I'm just throwing out an example.)
Yes, it's weird that my 6yo doesn't really know who Spiderman is and has never touched a Wii. Is this a PROBLEM? Seriously?
I think the OP's dh's definition of "weird" is "not like everyone else" but he's not considering whether "like everyone else" is actually a good thing.
And FWIW, I have met wickedly rude hs'd kids. Like, blatantly--right in front of me and their parents--who did nothing. Definitely not the NORM, but they're totally out there. So people who would accuse me of sheltering my kids are out of their minds. I also taught high school. MUCH greater percentage of that mindset there (and I taught in a relatively affluent suburb).
My mother used this argument with me over the weekend. Apparently, my brother knows someone who was homeschooled, is 22, still lives at home and his parents like it that way. GASP! NO WAY!
Dh lived at home until he moved in with me (at age 26yo). My MIL almost never does my laundry. I say "almost" because on the rare occasion she's in my home she needs something to do and I let her wash towels.
"Dumbing Us Down" is an awesome (and SHORT) book. I got my husband to read it by reading short passages out loud that just astounded me.