Play ideas for 5 yr old boys

[DharmaDisciple]

Ds is socially shy, he is fine playing with older children as he plays with dd's friends, but he is very shy playing with peers. I have just started homeschooling him, but want to invite some children from his school round to play this half term. He has not made friends with them yet as he was only there a term, but I think if I start now they may stay in touch during his childhood years, so he can have village friends.

The problem I have is, he doesn't seem to know how to play with people. On his own he plays with his DS, computer and TV. He will play imaginary games doing Star Wars sword fighting or Harry Potter duelling but they are on his own.

If I invite a 5 yr old boy over to play, what can I do to help ds play with them? What props can I get in to encourage imaginative play? Where do I start if I want to play with him, I have no idea. They will probably be around for at least 2 hours.

I want to encourage my son to get his childhood back, please help.

[CheriK]

Is there a homeschool group/co-op in your area? My own DS (now 8) has always had challenges with being socially immature. He did okay at the co-op preschool, but never really "bonded" with any other boys. We've homeschooled since preschool and he now has a wonderful group of friends. I think that the homeschool activities and park days were really beneficial to him. He has the chance to interact with children of all ages; some children just aren't comfortable in a peer group, it's too threatening if they feel insecure with social interactions in general. I would imagine that maintaining friendships with one boy in school and the other homeschooled might be challenging, however.

Up until recently, my DS played almost exclusively with boys who were from 2-4 years younger than he is. That situation seemed to feel safer for him. He could be the "big" kid and didn't feel threatened (he has a hard time handling conflict well). He made a best friend (almost 2 years younger than he) about two years ago; his friend moved this summer so he only sees him about once a month now. I really worried about that, but that friendship seemed to give him time to mature and practice social play/interactions/conflict. Now he's got a pack of friends, frequent playdates, outside playing daily with the neighbor (also homeschooled) boys.

I'm not creative and hate playdates, so I never really took the initiative. It was easier to drag him to park days and wait/watch as friendships developed on their own. Yes, he spent some days digging in the dirt and catching ants and fighting imaginary Sith Lords all by himself. But eventually a boy or two with similar interests would engage him.

The friend he currently spends a lot of time with has also struggled with these concerns. His mom DID take the initiative. She plans activities around the boys' interest - one day, they made light sabers out of construction paper and paper towel rolls. Another day, they cooked something out of the Star Wars cookbook from the library. Sometimes she organizes movie/popcorn nights. If you have another child over for 2 hours, you might plan an activity like these, then a snack, then some free play (have Legos or blocks or action figures out for them to play with).

[DharmaDisciple]

He is a very intelligent boy and is so used to playing with 8-11 yr olds, he seems to find younger children eg his own age difficult as they don't offer any initiation in play.

We meet up with homeschoolers weekly and he slowly will go and play with them- they are a variety of ages, he stays by his sisters side as he plays, there are some boys his age but we have just met so it is early days.

He goes to church weekly and a church group on a Thursday where he plays and does crafts.

It is just playdates at home that seem to be difficult- he doesn't really want anyone his age round- but if I don't start asking now he will miss out on early forming friendships with the school children who live in our village. Summer won't be as difficult because we can meet at the park for a 'playdate' and it will look like he is playing with them as he runs around!

[rhianna813]

I guess I would have some structured games or projects the first time a peer friend came over. People of any age sometimes need ice breakers or structure, so they don't feel so pressured to be inventive on their own.

5 year old boys usually like building sets like legos or k'nex. Board or card games, or pick up sticks or dominoes.

Maybe something like "mad scientist" play dough or a craft project.

Definitely pick something your DS likes, so he will feel enthuiastic about joining in.

Rhianna

[traceface]

I like the idea of having the materials ready/partially prepped to build swords, then they can practice fencing with them.

my former 5 year old would have loved that.

[rhianna813]

Oh yeah sword making - that is a good one! You can make easy shields out of cardboard and duct tape. I've seen these at Ren faires for kids to decorate.

Here are some videos on how to make...

Cardboard swords:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nZ1V...05DF30&index=2

Cardboard shields:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaSUS...05DF30&index=1

These might be a little deluxe but you can get the general idea. I am SO gonna get DS's kindergarten friend over to make and play with these soon. They'll love it!

Rhianna