Do you ever put your baby down?

[Mirrormonkey]

Our newest Little Monkey is 5 days old today and I realized as I put him down briefly today to attend to human nature that it was the first time he had been out of mine or my husbands arms since we got home from the hosp, and we were home 9 hours after he was born. He even sleeps in my arms... I was the same with my son and only recently learned about ap parenting, we just did and do what feels right.

As an example as I type this ds2 is asleep on my lap while ds1 hugs my left arm and I am typing with my right hand(kinda slow going, hope I improve!). And why do people have a problem with ap parenting? It makes no sense at all!!!

So how often do you put your babies down?

[Norasmomma]

Well when DS was first born I'd put him in the bouncy chair while I showered, but other than that very rarely. We have an extremely active DD who always wanted to "help" which meant mauling her baby brother. I wore him most of the time until just recently when I figured out he'd take a nap in the pack n play using the Boppy to hug him. Plus DD doesn't really care about bugging him now. Carrying him is getting rather tiring since he's pushing 17 lbs and now hates most carriers at 4 months. I'm rather relieved he'll let us lay him down now, even if it is only for 15 minutes.

[j_p_i]

I was like you - just doing what felt right and it turns out it was pretty much in line with ap parenting

I didn't put DD down much until she started being mobile, and now she wants to go go go all the time! So instead of being in my arms, I'm crawling around after her and playing. Of course I love our snuggle time together and we still cosleep, but right now DD is in our room napping on her own (this is sort of new, she napped in my arms for the first 7 months) so I can have a little me time. I've also found that as she has gotten older, she naps a bit better and longer if she is laying in bed.

[Alisse]

Back in the 1st month of life my ds slept alone while he napped during the day while i ran around and did things like chores. But since around the age of 1 month he sometimes naps on me only and i wear him most of the day until dh comes home. He has always slept in my arms at night however, being more of a cultural thing rather than the adoption of AP. Now at 4.5 months he likes to lie down more often, but only while awake, to play and gnaw on his toys. So it seems that as he gets older he's out of our arms a little more often.

[not perfect]

all 3 of my kids were in arms for the first 2 or 3 months of life. My first hated to be put down and wouldn't sleep at all if i left him so he was held constantly either by me or my mom or sister for about 6 months. After that he wanted to start exploring. DS2 was very easy going and would sleep on his own for an hour or two so I would lay him down around 3 months. DD is only 6 months now and likes to be close but she also likes her free time. I love to hold my babies. It's such a short time that they want to be held all the time so get it while it lasts I say.

[sky_and_lavender]

My daughter is 5 months old now. When she was first born, we literally never put her down for the first couple of weeks. After that, we tried to put her down occasionally. (We coslept, and we wanted her sleep on the bed between us, for example. She didn't like to be put down and would not sleep if not on us for the first month.) We tried getting her to nap in various devices to no avail. So we just went with it. She was always in the Moby wrap or on a lap (mostly mine, because she nursed constantly!) for the first couple of months. When we did put her down to get her to nap, she would take a short nap (20 minutes) as opposed to a longer one.

When she was around 2 months, she expressed an interest in being put down, so I sat with her on the floor and did tummy time with her more and more. (We did it sporadically before then. People told me that if you never put them down, they'll never want to be down, but that wasn't true in our case.) I would put her down to go to the bathroom or, if I was lucky, heat some food. But she was mostly an in arms baby. (It was SO HARD!)

Around 3.5 months, she seemed okay with not being next to someone 100% of the time. I could leave her to play with her hands or a toy for maybe 10-15 minutes a couple of times a day. And she enjoyed sitting in a bouncer/infant seat sometimes, for example while we ate dinner.

Now at 5 months, she plays a little more with toys. But she still spends almost all of her time in the sling or on my lap or within a few feet of me or my husband (on the floor or in the bouncer) or in the sling or on a lap. She doesn't like to be left alone much.

She's an exceptionally happy, secure baby. Although I'm sure much of the reason for that is her inborn temperament, these months of closeness have definitely gotten us in tune with one another and created a bond that I cherish.

Follow your instincts, and don't rush her out of your arms if keeping her close feels right. Try to get other people to take care of necessary chores--you are creating a bond that sustain her and you for the rest of your lives!

[ErinYay]

The first 2ish weeks, she was in-arms almost constantly. We did some experimenting here and there- let's see if she'll nap in the crib- yup, well, that's good to know. (She's spent maybe 12 hours in that crib total since birth, lol, but we know she likes it okay.) Stuff like that.

She's a very mellow, easy-going kid, so it's always been easy to put her down. Sometimes a little too easy- I try not to harp on my husband, but I do remind him on occasion that, even if she's happy in her bouncer/swing/mat on the floor, we should still hold her when she's awake as much as we can.

The phrase "she'll only be x-weeks old once" may be a fairly common one around here.

[claddaghmom]

Hardly ever...there has been many a time when I held her while attending to nature's duty, too.

People might think it's weird I guess. But I'm a SAHM so I'm alone most of the time. It does not bother me to hold her as opposed to let her cry while I go...I mean if it was bothersome I wouldn't judge someone for it or consider it particularly harmful. It just isn't an issue for me.

We also EC though so I would often bring her with me and let her 'try' before I would go....

[ohmmomma]

As I type this I've got my 4 week old in the wrap on me. I am also wriggling and rocking my body to soothe him which I have found myself doing constantly now, even when I'm not wearing him! (embarrassing when I have done this out in public - like after I already put him in his carseat) I am home alone during the week with our little one, and do carry and wear him most of the time, but find that occasionally I need to put him down to give my back a rest (I'm sure it will get stronger quickly!). Since my little one does not want to be apart from me, I find that I can put him down in a vibrating seat with white noise, a heart beat, or ocean/rain sounds after he has fallen asleep in my arms, and he does well for even a few hours in sleep! This allows me to get a few more things done around the house (or at least change out of my nightwear!). However, I find that I have even been able to respond to the call of nature while wearing him or holding him! There are even slings that are designed for water wear - if you really desire you can even shower w/ your child! BTW - congrats on your newest one. : )

[JMJ]

I think that holding your baby pretty much all the time is normal, but it wasn't really the case for DD. I think she's really on the independent side of normal, even as an AP baby. We pretty much held her all the time for the first month of her life before we realized that she liked it better lying on the floor looking at us a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong, she still loves to be held or worn a lot of the time, probably at least as much now (10 months) as she did at 2 or 3 months. She spends significant amounts of time playing on the floor and significant amounts of time being carried, and she is not shy about letting us know which one she'd like to be doing. I think it's all about listening to your baby and meeting his or her needs.

[Aufilia]

With DD, I'm pretty sure I held her the vast majority of the time for the first 3 months. She didn't like to be put down, hated swings, loathed bouncers, and really only wanted to lay on me and nurse most of the time. When we weren't sitting in the recliner we were laying on the couch.

DS is quite a different baby, though. He did insist on being held for the entire first week, and would only sleep in arms. After that he decided he was perfectly happy sleeping alone. He hated lying on his back and is a bit reflux-y, and would not be happy side-lying nursing until the last couple weeks. He likes the playmat and the bouncy chair and his mobile. Heck, the other night after I'd been nursing him for a couple hours trying to convince him to sleep, I put him down in the Snuggle Nest in his crib with the mobile on, and he cooed and talked and fell asleep while I washed my pumping supplies. He likes to be worn if he's feeling quiet-alert, but doesn't much like to sleep while being worn.

[marinak1977]

At 5 weeks old our DS is mostly either in my arms or in DH's arms. He is only put down for naps (if I'm lucky I can get something done, but he tends to wake up quickly and wants to be picked up) but I also babywear him through naps a lot. He will allow me to put him down in a bouncer for ~10 minutes so that I can shower or chow down food. But he is immediately picked up the moment he asks (he does like to look at the swinging monkeys for a while)
He sleeps on my arm and loves to nap on me or DH during the day. It's not that I'm trying to AP, but just following my instincts and it all fits.

It will be an adjustment when he is bigger and gets harder to carry.

[akind1]

We held DS pretty much constantly the first couple weeks; but round 8 weeks, he seemed to like laying on his playmat on the floor, staring at the chimes and trying to punch or kick them. He will sometimes fall asleep down there. In the last week or so he seems to like bouncy seat alot, almost as much as sitting next to me. I can't hold him all the time, as much as I want to, as I have to work, and that involves typing. the faster I can type, the sooner I'm done with my work for the day, and I can focus solely on him. He is a great baby though, but he still is happiest when cuddled.

Although he coos and "talks" more when left on the floor or bouncy seat.

There's nothing wrong with holding babies all the time; why someone (at some point in time;maybe my mother?) thought that was the case, I do not know!

[Abraisme]

I try to hold my babies all the time for the first three months (the fourth trimester). I still set them down to shower (while sleeping) and to ride in the car. After around 3mo I started puting my DD down for her naps and to play a little bit here and there. She's 6mo now and will play in little spurts by herself on the floor, sit in her high chair during dinner, etc.

[Mirrormonkey]

I just can't bring myself to put him down! It is like I need him moret han he needs me... My older son is feeling a bit jealous, so we spent most of yesterday snuggling on the couch.

[lalemma]

There can't possibly be anything wrong with holding a young baby all the time.

On the other hand, it's not a contest. It's okay to put your baby down. He will indeed survive.

Our baby is almost never put down. Not out of dogma, but because he strongly (and loudly) prefers to be in-arms/sling. I would be super excited if he became more okay with being put down for short periods, because then I wouldn't have to wait for another adult to be around to take a shower!

[NSmomtobe]

Thanks for saying that, lalemma. I feel like I must be a failure at attachment parenting because I do put my baby down. I have a hard time getting anything done while holding him and he hates being worn, or at least he hates my baby carriers. I spend hours a day holding him while he eats and sleeps, but then if I want to do anything (eat, go to the bathroom, tend to the fire, load/unload the dishwasher, laundry), I have to put him down. I'm getting better at doing some of those things while holding him, but there is only so much I can do.

[Xavismom]

Originally Posted by ohmmomma

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"] I am also wriggling and rocking my body to soothe him which I have found myself doing constantly now, even when I'm not wearing him! (embarrassing when I have done this out in public - like after I already put him in his carseat)

Oh I have also been guilty of doing this, and then I feel so silly when I realize what I'm doing!!

DS was always in arms for at least the first month. I do put him down sometimes now. He loves tummy time on a big colorfull mat, and I do use his bouncy chair. Now that he is interested in toys and sounds, he likes to sit in his chair for about 15-20 min once in a while, and smile and mouth on his toys. About 2 weeks ago, I started napping him on his own, not in my arms so I could get stuff done around the house, but the past few days he is not liking this anymore, I think we may have to go back to in-arm naps.

I wish I could just wear him all day, but he only likes to be worn OUT of the house.

[Mizelenius]

My youngest is almost 3 months, and by about 2 months, she WANTED to be down. I'd carry her, nurse her, hold her, rock her, etc., and she would be fussy .. .until I put her down! Then she'd get out of her mood. She would especially cheer up near a mirror or if someone showed her a book.

My mom kept telling me (when she was fussy) that she was bored and I thought-- how could a 2 month old be BORED, but you know . . she was right! I figured that with all the activity around (I have 3 other young children) that would be stimulation enough, but I guess not. We use the bouncy seat, mobile, and activity mat daily. Granted, most of the time she is being worn or held somehow, but she absolutely has down time regularly.


I will say, I've changed. I remember with DD 1, I felt SO guilty when she was a few months old and happily cooing at a mobile. I picked her up and held her. Now I realize that those are MY feelings I am projecting. If a baby looks content, she's content. There really is no reading into it, because any baby (I don't care how laid-back they are) WILL tell you when he/she needs something.

[guestmama9971]

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