I'm reading this forum because one of my best friends is preggers with twins and it's all kinds of exiciting. Personally, I'm pregnant with my second singleton.
While the "jinx" comment and things like "better you than me" are absolutely inexcusable, dismissing kindly-meant comments as annoying and unoriginal is just plain meanspirited. What on earth makes a comment offensive or worthy of derision or even simply non-heartfelt just because you have heard it before? Are their interest and kind wishes somehow less valid just because they couldn't think of another way to phrase them?
As a mother of a single 2yo daughter, I get plenty of "unoriginal" comments too. When she was a newborn, I'd hear "Oh, I can barely remember when my daughter was so small" or "Oh, it goes so fast - treasure it" about 10 million times. Yeah, it got kind of repetitive. But it delighted me that so many people were interested and kind. Now that my daughter is getting so big, I see infants and think "Oh, my goodness, I can't believe she was that small only two years ago." I refrain from chasing mothers down to tell them so, because I remember too recently hearing it so often myself
But if I were standing behind a new mother in line at a grocery, I must admit that's the first thing that would go through my mind.
It's no different with the stereotypical comments about twins. Really, what *would* you rather people say to you? Would you rather people asked privacy-invasive non-small-talk kinds of questions? Or would you rather live in a world where people walk by in their own little bubbles, never exchanging pleasantries with each other? Would you like people to pretend there is nothing even vaguely interesting or exciting about your children? Small talk may not be the deepest conversation in the world, but it serves a good social purpose. I think I'd rather hear kind, interested but uninspired comments than "What a beautiful little girl! Tell me all about your labor!" I nurse openly in public. I like it when people take interest and don't shun me, even if the interest takes the form of small talk. I prefer hearing "Oh, it's so great that you're still breastfeeding" for the 200th time than "Gee, can't you just wait to wear a normal bra again?"
Furthermore, if you are sick of hearing the same comments over and over, give some thought to creative responses. When I was pregnant last time, I constantly heard "Do you know what it is?" I answered, very brightly and in an excited voice, "Yes! A baby!" Confused pause... "Oh, well, what are you hoping for?" "Well, I've got my hopes set on a puppy, but my husband really wants a lawn tractor!" Between babies, though, he *got* the lawn tractor, so I have to give some thought to updating that response...
So, what kinds of comments *can* people make to mothers of twins that aren't common, stereotypical, offensive, invasive or just plain wierd?
Mama to Talia Eden 3-25-02
and someone currently the size of an avocado EDD 8-23-04