Does it ever bug you when... - Page 3

[Jane]

I think that conceiving twins is like being blown a kiss by the universe. *Yes* You are special, you are different, you are all those good things you think in the middle of the night and discard in the morning. You are chosen.
Anytime someone expresses a desire to conceive twins, I just think that she needs to be reminded that she deserves all the best things in life.

[charmarty]

I LOVE YOU APRICOT!!!!!!!


Thank you so much. I really needed that tonight.

Im sittin here wondering why I cant get my dd`s to stay asleep instead of waking up after a few hours and staying up till dawn even after there was no naps, and walking an dplaying hard all day?!?! I am feeling totally disfunctional and a failure.

Thanks again for reminding me how special we all are

[hotmamacita]

Me too.

[charmarty]

Do you have twins?
If so that should be your senior name
*Kissed By The Universe*

I love it!

[Jane]

Nah, no twins for me. But, I'm glad you are smiling, charmarty and hotmamacita and anyone else out there.

[Amandzia]

I think a lot of people desire what they don't have. We had 3 girls and my husband was hoping for a boy. We found out we were going to have twins and he hoped at least one would be a boy. Then we found out they were both girls. He didn't stay disappointed for long though, he said "well, it's probably for the best since we already know how to parent girls." We both feel very blessed to have 5 girls between us, but I'm sure there is still part of him that would have liked to have a boy.

[momto3g3b]

I haven't read through all the replies, so maybe someone already addressed this one, but just in case no one has, here goes!

Would you rather people asked privacy-invasive non-small-talk kinds of questions?

THEY DO!!!!! With twins, it is open-season on personal questions! Strangers ask if you used fertility drugs, if this was planned (like someone can PLAN to have multiples?), how long you were pregnant, how much weight you gained, if they were born vaginally or by cesarean, did you/are you breastfeeding, etc!

I have NEVER been asked the kind of personal questions when walking around with a newborn singleton as those I've gotten when I had infant twins. What makes people think it's appropriate to ask such questions, I do not know, but it's incredibly rude, imo.

To answer the question of the OP, yes, I get bothered by some of the stupid comments. I don't mind hearing, 'How old are your babies/kids/twins?" but hearing "Are they twins?" is irritating. I also get irritated by the "I have kids who are 16 months apart so it's just LIKE having twins!" I ALWAYS respond to that one with, "Well, my 2 oldest kids are 10.5 months apart and I can tell you for a fact that it is NOT just like having twins." :LOL

I don't think it's mean-spirited to get tired of the incessant comments. Anyone who thinks it IS has never spent an hour in Wal*Mart, trying to pick up 3 things for dinner but being stopped repeatedly by "well meaning" people who want to ask questions/make comments. Sure, I like to have people compliment me on my kids, but usually what I hear is "Boy, you've got your hands full!" because I go out with SIX children ( ) and those types of comments don't do anything to boost my spirits.

I don't think anyone who hasn't had twins can relate to this phenomenon. I know that, had I not had my twins, I couldn't. I'd been through the "people commenting on my baby" thing 3 times before my twins were born and WOW, was it different once I was hauling those two around! So.....to the person who thinks it's rude to not be thrilled with the comments from the peanut gallery when we're out with our kids, you just don't understand. Sorry, but you really don't.

[Cakes]

As I said in a different thread........Sometimes I find it is in the best interest of all parties concerned not to make eye contact!
Julianne

[mommy2three]

I get "you must have your hands full" all the time. Duh (to use an 80s phrase). It used to bother me when people said, "my kids are about 18 months apart- it's just like having twins". I always wanted to yell at them (sleep deprivation, maybe?) that it's NOTHING like having twins but now that my twins are almost 5, I think that maybe in some ways it was easier because I got all the infant stuff done at the same time where as when you have children close in age you go through that twice? (twice the sleep deprivation, etc? ) Well, I'll see I suppose because I'll have this baby pretty close to my last. It'll be my own little experiment lol

Congrats everyone on your twins!!!!!!! I always got "double trouble" and I would just smile and say "double love" or "double hugs" (whether I was thinkng yes, you're right or not) :LOL

[mamacate]

The easy way?

Actually the thing that's really bothering me now is all the moms of singletons my kids' age (just turned 2) who are either pg or ttc #2 who keep telling me that I did it the easy way by having twins, now I don't need to be pregnant with a toddler.

It makes me want to scream and it's actually becoming a social problem for me because this seems to be the conversation starter at playgroups/birthday parties/etc. And I'm feeling all generous because I'm sympathizing with them about how exhausting pregnancy is (hello, from what I've heard the fatigue and other symptoms of a singleton pregnancy are a cakewalk compared to a twin pregnancy, plus I was put on bedrest for bleeding for the first TWENTY weeks of my pg!), and I say something like "yeah, it must be so tough to do it while chasing a toddler," which to me seems very sympathetic and kind, and then they start saying how I have it so easy because I got it all out of the way at once. (PS how do they know???) This has happened three times in the last few months. I just say "huh, yeah, a lot of people say that" and then wander away (easy since I'm chasing TWO toddlers). But it makes me really mad, and I wind up avoiding that person for the rest of the event because I don't want to get into it.

I am looking forward to the "playdate that never goes home" phase, and at 2 they are starting to play together (but are still whacking each other over the head). And I do have some sympathy with the difficult feelings of wanting another child but not knowing how you will juggle it when you're already feeling tired with one child. But why does it have to turn into twins being "the easy way?" It is ANYTHING BUT! And I try not to whine too much (except online, LOL) because my Dad is a twin and he's got a lot of guilt from hearing his mother complain. But ugh, I guess I was looking forward to the playgroup moms having their second kids because now maybe we'd have something in common, but you know, we still don't. It's kind of a bummer. Especially since, though I love my twin mom friends, we can never have a conversation that involves complete sentences, because, well, you know.

Thanks for reading my vent!

Cate

[laralou]

I don't get nearly as many comments now at 16 months as I used to when they were newborns. I don't mind any of the comments at all now (in fact I love to talk about them), but there were definitely times I wanted to punch someone for saying that they always wanted twins. My big beef is when people comment on them like they are my only children instead of acknowledging that ds exists also (even the big helper comment is better than ignoring him). He doesn't mind the big helper comment. He is proud that he is the official entertainer of the girls.

[Fleurette]

Re: The easy way?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by mamacate
[B]Actually the thing that's really bothering me now is all the moms of singletons my kids' age (just turned 2) who are either pg or ttc #2 who keep telling me that I did it the easy way by having twins, now I don't need to be pregnant with a toddler.


HA! I did a TWIN pregnancy with a VERY active toddler. Not to mention sleep deprivation with a needy toddler who doesn't quite understand why mommy can't drop what she's doing to play/tend to only her. That comment would bug me too!

[1Plus2]

Originally posted by laralou
My big beef is when people comment on them like they are my only children instead of acknowledging that ds exists also (even the big helper comment is better than ignoring him). He doesn't mind the big helper comment. He is proud that he is the official entertainer of the girls.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!! Doesn't that drive you insane?! My dd is shy with strangers and very rarely will instigate a conversation much less answer someone's questions. We were out once and an older lady came over to coo at the babies. My dd kept saying "I'm 3! I'm 3!" over and over again. The woman totally ignored her then when she realized Haven wasn't going to stop looks up and goes "Uh-huh" and right back to talking to the babies. I didn't say another word to her and pushed right past her. I also very loudly said "I'm sorry, Haven...some people are just very rude!" In the beginning I was tempted to put a sign on the stroller that read: We don't mind if you say hello to our big sister first!

[mama_at_home]

I know this thread is soooo old but I am glad I found it! We haven't taken our twins out much at all, but the times we have we used slings. So dh slung one and I slung one and by the time people even realized there were 2 babies we were gone! We are planning on getting a double stroller eventually though, so I am not looking forward to all those comments....

[midwestmom]

Even though my twins are not here yet, I really enjoyed this thread too. I already get the comments b/c I am carrying twins. I did appreciate the annoyance at people commenting that they could relate b/c their kids were 14 months apart or whatever. Well, my first two are 13 mo apart and I suspect that it will be nothing like having 2 newborns .

When strangers ask if the twins are my first, and I say no, I have a 1 yr old and a 2 yr old, I do usually get a kick out of seeing their jaws drop.

[BirthFree]

Great thread... glad it got moved up.
I'm a twin (fraternal) and I've always wanted twins because I *loved it so much*... I LOVE being a twin - my Mom is the saint of all saints in my book and my sister is my best friend = I just think it's the absolute best thing in the world.

So for those of you who are... big hugs and count me as one of those who smile at you and pass by as to not add another stupid comment to the hoard you've heard already. I'd love to come chat but since I know it's like fly paper sometimes to have 2 in public, I just admire from afar. I figure that's not too annoying... right?

When your two's are older, they will think you a saint as well.

[Amandzia]

I haven't seen this thread in quite a while. My twins are almost 5. Wow, time flies. Lately we get asked by friends "How do you tell them apart?" I'm not annoyed. They are really just tying to figure out how to tell them apart. I just don't know what to tell them. They are actually fraternal but they do look very much alike. Should I make them get different hair cuts? My dh said we shouldn't have to do that. He says that it's not our job to make things easier for other people to tell them apart. At this point they don't mind correcting people who get it wrong. Maybe in the future they will.

[twins10705]

Originally Posted by Tigerchild

Especially when they sit there and make their stupid comments as they watch me struggle alone to hold open the door to get the triple stroller through it.

yeah...can totally relate here...your hair is a mess, there is drool all over your top, there are bags under your eyes, sweat trickling down your forehead as you huff and struggle to get this huge stroller and all your shopping bags out the door whilst the smiley onlookers oooh and ahhhh and ask how old they are...
I also get, "Is one bigger than the other?"(one is obviously bigger than the other )

good times...

--Amanda

[TripMom]

Ok - old thread - but had to chime in -- I'll take that comment anyday over the snarky "Better you then me" or the "you sure do have your hands full".

I vowed these mindless comments from people who really don't know what to say would never bother me. But sometimes they hit me on the wrong day. These are my babies. They are a lot of work - but I love them. They are my babies - not some side-show attraction. Please be kind.

[twinmommykc]

I love this thread!!
My favorite comment is, "Are they identical?" - I have girl/boy twins and generally are dressed as such. (Although sometimes my son like to put barrettes in his hair like his sister). My husband usually looks at them and says, "well, the penis is different."