My husband and I are at a loss with what to do with our almost-2.5-year-old DS. Half the time he's absolutely delightful, and the other half the time he's screaming or hitting/kicking us when he doesn't get exactly what he wants when he wants it. We try to meet his needs as promptly as possible, but especially since DS2 (2mos) was born, sometimes DS1 needs to wait (just as sometimes the baby waits if DS1's needs are more pressing at the moment). And sometimes when he screams/hits, we don't even know what he wants. He does talk, though not always in complete sentences, so I'm sure sometimes it's frustration because he can't express what he wants. And sometimes he has a very good reason for being in a bad mood - like he's tired, or teething, or has an ear infection. We try to be understanding in those cases and get to the root of the problem, but we also want to teach him that even if his ear hurts, it's still not okay to hit.
When he hits, my approach is to hold his hands/wrists so he can't continue hitting me and say "Don't hit, that hurts mama" and if it persists I use a more stern voice and say "Do Not Hit me." Sometimes I hold his chin (gently) to make him look me in the eye while I say it. It's obviously not working because he continues to hit. When I'm really frustrated with him, sometimes I do the "bear hug" and just hug him tightly - holding his arms down so he can't hit - while I catch my breath and try to regain my composure.
As for the screaming, it's the same thing where he screams whenever he doesn't get his way. Sometimes when he's in a bad mood, he'll just scream every.thing.he.says. We try to patiently explain to him why he can't have X right now or why he needs to wait a few minutes, but it doesn't seem to help.
Neither of us believes in spanking, but my husband was so frustrated the other night that he said maybe we should start. I know he would never hurt DS, but he's just at the end of his rope (as I am) and we need to find a new approach. Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.
When he hits, my approach is to hold his hands/wrists so he can't continue hitting me and say "Don't hit, that hurts mama" and if it persists I use a more stern voice and say "Do Not Hit me." Sometimes I hold his chin (gently) to make him look me in the eye while I say it. It's obviously not working because he continues to hit. When I'm really frustrated with him, sometimes I do the "bear hug" and just hug him tightly - holding his arms down so he can't hit - while I catch my breath and try to regain my composure.
As for the screaming, it's the same thing where he screams whenever he doesn't get his way. Sometimes when he's in a bad mood, he'll just scream every.thing.he.says. We try to patiently explain to him why he can't have X right now or why he needs to wait a few minutes, but it doesn't seem to help.
Neither of us believes in spanking, but my husband was so frustrated the other night that he said maybe we should start. I know he would never hurt DS, but he's just at the end of his rope (as I am) and we need to find a new approach. Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.
