Background info: I've had two homebirths - one a very long, arduous labor with six hours of pushing and the other an accidental unassisted childbirth due to baby being born WAY sooner than I thought. Both times were obviously med-free, empowering and incredible.
Today my little brother's wife gave birth to their first in a hospital. I am absolutely, emphatically NOT militant about homebirth. I feel that there are people who definitely would not be comfortable at home especially with their first, and that some people need various interventions, etc. However, with that said, I'm totally aghast at how the birth went. It was such a typical cascade of (unnecessary) interventions that I'm mind-blown. They went into the hospital at 3AM yesterday morning with very weak contractions, dilated to 4, leaking fluid slightly. She laid around until mid-morning when they started Pit. Contrax got stronger but baby wasn't moving. She finally agreed to the epi which apparently didn't help. She laid on her back until 9PM when the doc checked her and said she was at a 9. The doc told her that it would still be 5 hours or so - this was completely disheartening for her. (I should mention that the doc is actually my sis-in-law's colleague since she's a doc too!) They increased the epi and she laid on her back until 4AM when they said she could push. She pushed until she gave birth at 7AM. Baby was a bit lethargic but ok.
So here's the thing: My brother is now saying all these things about "thank God we were here since baby was lethargic!" And "imagine if we hadn't had an epi! She would have passed out from pain!" And "what if she had tried to push too soon?!" It's driving me nuts! I feel like the labor could have been way shorter if she had moved around and changed positions. Or if she had gone about her daily activities instead of going in so early. I feel sad that he missed out on how amazing the woman's body is and the potential for gentle(r) childbirth. I also feel sad that she, as a doctor, seems to think her l&d affirms everything she's learned.
Maybe none of this is my business. Perhaps I'm just sensitive because I feel like their statements are a reflection on my choices in some ways. I don't know. I'm conflicted. If it were anyone else I would just smile and nod but with family I feel the need to defend my choices.
Anyone been here? Any insights?
Today my little brother's wife gave birth to their first in a hospital. I am absolutely, emphatically NOT militant about homebirth. I feel that there are people who definitely would not be comfortable at home especially with their first, and that some people need various interventions, etc. However, with that said, I'm totally aghast at how the birth went. It was such a typical cascade of (unnecessary) interventions that I'm mind-blown. They went into the hospital at 3AM yesterday morning with very weak contractions, dilated to 4, leaking fluid slightly. She laid around until mid-morning when they started Pit. Contrax got stronger but baby wasn't moving. She finally agreed to the epi which apparently didn't help. She laid on her back until 9PM when the doc checked her and said she was at a 9. The doc told her that it would still be 5 hours or so - this was completely disheartening for her. (I should mention that the doc is actually my sis-in-law's colleague since she's a doc too!) They increased the epi and she laid on her back until 4AM when they said she could push. She pushed until she gave birth at 7AM. Baby was a bit lethargic but ok.
So here's the thing: My brother is now saying all these things about "thank God we were here since baby was lethargic!" And "imagine if we hadn't had an epi! She would have passed out from pain!" And "what if she had tried to push too soon?!" It's driving me nuts! I feel like the labor could have been way shorter if she had moved around and changed positions. Or if she had gone about her daily activities instead of going in so early. I feel sad that he missed out on how amazing the woman's body is and the potential for gentle(r) childbirth. I also feel sad that she, as a doctor, seems to think her l&d affirms everything she's learned.
Maybe none of this is my business. Perhaps I'm just sensitive because I feel like their statements are a reflection on my choices in some ways. I don't know. I'm conflicted. If it were anyone else I would just smile and nod but with family I feel the need to defend my choices.
Anyone been here? Any insights?
