About to be single Mama, starting a new job and moving

[Ileifa]

My husband and I are getting divorce. We haven't told the kids yet because I am in the process of job hunting and that will more than likely take us to another state. I have three children and they would be with me - I would have physical custody and my husband would try to move wherever we are after he finds a new job and sells our house. I am not hopeful that he will be there anytime soon, if at all. We are divorcing on amicable terms but I would really like to be prepared for life all alone with three children, a home and a new job. Any advice you would like to offer I am totally up for hearing it.

[mamafuko]

Wow, Ileifa. You're going through several major life stressors all at once. I wish you the best in dealing with them. Stay strong.

The hardest part is emotional. Even thinking about it now, the day I left my ex, as bad as it was, left me feeling abandoned and alone. I also felt it for my son too. For me, therapy was invaluable. Make sure you reach out, get support, and ask for help.

The best of wishes.

[josybear]

that sounds really, really hard. you're going to need a lot of shoulders to lean on. get your friends to be around you, symbolically speaking, and call them every night to vent, cry, celebrate, etc. you're going to need it.
as for your kids, i don't know what to suggest. their whole worlds are going to change overnight. this is hard stuff. i wish you the best.

[Goodmom2008]

Before you accept any job offer or move, get it in writing that your stbx agrees to the kids moving with you and have a judge sign off on it. You don't want to be put in the position of moving ahead of time to get things ready for the kids and your stbx refuses to let the kids move and going for custody.

[SoulCakes]

Oh, gosh. That sounds so hard.

Do you have family or friends in the state you're moving to? It's going to be really important that you call on all of your resources and have a support network for you to lean on after you move. Divorce is hard enough - the move and (possibly) being alone in a new place without family or friends will take every ounce of your strength.

You know what you're capable of, so I commend you for being so strong. But don't hesitate to reach out for support when you need it.

This is going to be a tough move for your kids, as well. Research what wonderful things they can look forward to in the new area, and talk to them about that and about how sad it will be to leave their friends and family behind. Just let them talk, to help them process the new situation. Kids are remarkably resilient, but change can be hard.

Best of luck to you.