My midwife just broke up with me...afraid of my VBAC - Page 2

[cairomama]

I had a great hospital VBAC with a MALE midwife after my midwife for my planned homebirth told me that I needed to find another provider. I was at 32 weeks (or later) at that point. My first was c/s for breech and my second was breech as well. Homebirth Midwife did not do planned breech and I was afraid the baby wouldn't turn because she felt exactly the same as the first one. I ended up having a successful version at 36.5 weeks and went into labor on my own three weeks later. I did Hypnobabies which was awesome. I had a heplock and continuous monitoring but I did have freedom of position and movement. I was 8cm dilated when I got to the hospital and she was born 2.5 hours later.

On monitoring, as long as you have freedom of position and can move around, it won't bother you. Hypnobabies helped me tune it out completely. My midwife moved it around to get the readings he needed and I did not have to lay down for that. I was on my hands and knees almost the entire time I was in the hospital, including pushing.

You can have a great hospital VBAC. Don't give up. With Hypnobabies and a doula, you can have a wonderful birth.

[summerforever1977]

Originally Posted by cairomama

I had a great hospital VBAC with a MALE midwife after my midwife for my planned homebirth told me that I needed to find another provider. I was at 32 weeks (or later) at that point. My first was c/s for breech and my second was breech as well. Homebirth Midwife did not do planned breech and I was afraid the baby wouldn't turn because she felt exactly the same as the first one. I ended up having a successful version at 36.5 weeks and went into labor on my own three weeks later. I did Hypnobabies which was awesome. I had a heplock and continuous monitoring but I did have freedom of position and movement. I was 8cm dilated when I got to the hospital and she was born 2.5 hours later.

On monitoring, as long as you have freedom of position and can move around, it won't bother you. Hypnobabies helped me tune it out completely. My midwife moved it around to get the readings he needed and I did not have to lay down for that. I was on my hands and knees almost the entire time I was in the hospital, including pushing.

You can have a great hospital VBAC. Don't give up. With Hypnobabies and a doula, you can have a wonderful birth.

Thank you for your story; I can so relate and am hoping for a very similar story!

[rainbowmoon]

Originally Posted by eastkygal

Keeping yourself healthy. Exercise. Take a good look at diet. I suggest Nina Planck's book Real Food for Mother and Baby. Otherwise just trust the wisdom of your body. It wouldn't be advantageous of evolution/nature to allow us to start growing babies our bodies can't birth. Sure, there will be a fluke every now and then, but it's not something to worry about IMHO. Two of my grandmothers gave birth to 12 pounders at home with no complications.

But we are talking about growing a smaller baby not a large one! I have never heard of such a thing either way. I mean I have heard people say they grow big babes or worry about growing too big a baby if they have GD but that is the extent of it. I'd really love to see some research behind this! I doubt dieting/restricting while your PG is going to make one have a small baby.

[lyno]

does milk really make your baby big? is that because of the sugars in it? what about yogurt (plain)?

[Luvmykiddos03]

Originally Posted by lyno

does milk really make your baby big? is that because of the sugars in it? what about yogurt (plain)?

I drank RAW milk during my entire last two pregnancies and it did not result in large babies. I also ate flavored organic yogurt from Stoneyfield, along with Kefir and such. I love my milk, drink it daily, just had a baby a couple months ago, and am still losing weight slowly and safely, as a breastfeeding mama.

I also ate raw (soaked) nuts, along with organic virgin coconut oil, super dark organic chocolate, grass-fed organic meat (with the fat), and such things. All full of fat. Gained weight normally and am losing it normally, as I continue such diet. (I only mention organic, because it truly makes a difference. I wish it were the norm, as it once was, not the exception. ).

Your body needs fat and sugar...it just needs the right kind, not the processed junk we have today with foods that have unhealthy fat/sugar. Your baby especially needs those healthy fats and sugar...but I emphasize the HEALTHY kind.

Sorry to hijack! As for your op, as a UHBAC mama, I'm a little biased when I say to totally skip the doc/midwife...do it at home...alone! I know a couple women who are MUCH larger than what has been mentioned here and everything went well, even with a large baby, at home...alone. Babies are doing great still today! And I'm not skinny winney, either. I'm not obese, but I'm above my normal weight. Have too many babies back to back to ever get back to my "normal" weight in time for another one! LOL!

Do what feels best to you with the knowledge you have about your own situation. No one can make that decision for you. There isn't a right or wrong answer either, as no one can judge with absolute certainty what will happen in any birth. Hope you have peace with your decision soon!

[eastkygal]

Originally Posted by rainbowmoon

But we are talking about growing a smaller baby not a large one! I have never heard of such a thing either way. I mean I have heard people say they grow big babes or worry about growing too big a baby if they have GD but that is the extent of it. I'd really love to see some research behind this! I doubt dieting/restricting while your PG is going to make one have a small baby.

I'm not quite sure what you are saying here. IMHO some women will naturally have larger babies and their bodies are made to do so. It's genetics. My first baby was 8lbs. 13oz. at 38 weeks. I was vegetarian and gained only 35 pounds. My second baby was 11lbs. at 41 weeks 6 days. I wasn't vegetarian and I ate way too many cheese burgers and too much refined sugar. I often wonder if she would have been smaller had I ate a more TF based diet, but I also know that our family grows big babies and that is just fact. My 4'11" 125lbs. grandmother gave birth to my 9lbs. dad. I am now 100 pounds smaller than the day I gave birth to DD2. My diet is the best it can possibly be. I am convinced that if I were to become pregnant this baby would not grow as large as DD2 because I no longer eat refined sugar, processed foods, or fast foods. So, while I was saying that some women just grow large babies and we shouldn't worry about that, I am also saying that I do believe diet is a factor in just how big they get. I don't believe DD2 needed to be 11lbs. to be a healthy baby.

Here is one study you might look at Dietary Composition of Pregnant Women Is Related to the Size of Baby at Birth. I haven't gotten to read the whole thing yet, but it looks interesting.

Originally Posted by Luvmykiddos03

I drank RAW milk during my entire last two pregnancies and it did not result in large babies. I also ate flavored organic yogurt from Stoneyfield, along with Kefir and such. I love my milk, drink it daily, just had a baby a couple months ago, and am still losing weight slowly and safely, as a breastfeeding mama.

I also ate raw (soaked) nuts, along with organic virgin coconut oil, super dark organic chocolate, grass-fed organic meat (with the fat), and such things. All full of fat. Gained weight normally and am losing it normally, as I continue such diet. (I only mention organic, because it truly makes a difference. I wish it were the norm, as it once was, not the exception. ).

Your body needs fat and sugar...it just needs the right kind, not the processed junk we have today with foods that have unhealthy fat/sugar. Your baby especially needs those healthy fats and sugar...but I emphasize the HEALTHY kind.

Sorry to hijack! As for your op, as a UHBAC mama, I'm a little biased when I say to totally skip the doc/midwife...do it at home...alone! I know a couple women who are MUCH larger than what has been mentioned here and everything went well, even with a large baby, at home...alone. Babies are doing great still today! And I'm not skinny winney, either. I'm not obese, but I'm above my normal weight. Have too many babies back to back to ever get back to my "normal" weight in time for another one! LOL!

Do what feels best to you with the knowledge you have about your own situation. No one can make that decision for you. There isn't a right or wrong answer either, as no one can judge with absolute certainty what will happen in any birth. Hope you have peace with your decision soon!

This is exactly what I mean about diet and baby size. I don't think we need to concern ourselves as long as we are eating whole foods that are properly prepared. Yes, what we put in our bodies affect our babies, but it isn't the only thing. I have lost 100 pounds eating lots of full fat dairy. It's a whole food IMO. I have maintained that weight loss for a little over a year.

[sharr610]

Thank you!!!

Thanks to all of you. You've given me lots to think about...

A couple of days later now and I'm feeling a bit better. Anxious to see soon to be x midwife tomorrow...she is still providing prenatals until I transfer care. I still have a lot of questions for her.

I am SO not anti-OB. I believe there are great ones out there, great ones that would really support my VBAC and be plus sized friendly and all that. I don't think the practice that has been recommended to me is a bait and switch operation at all. I think the folks there are sincere. I am, on the otherhand, wary of my two hospital options around here. I'm wary of the nursing staff from my last c/s. I'm wary of "hospital policies" being shoved down my throat at the last minute and I'm wary of catching another nasty infection there like I did before. I'm wary of ANYONE, even if its a doula, having to fight for my rights. It may sound hokey or even cavalier to some of you, but especially now that this is a little girl inside me, I feel like I need to start her life off in the right place with the right choices where I feel strong. That didn't come out right, and I'm normally not that way at all, but...yeah...

As for diet, I think EVERY woman is different. In the past 2 years I've become extremely more aware of things from a traditonal/whole foods point of view. The milk I chugged before was organic, but super pasturized. This time, I'm just not able to stomach it as much and, looksie, smaller baby, but thats just me and the way my body processes things. I notice milk fills me up for only about 30 minutes...

I am a firm believer this go round of eating whole/real/organic/pastured foods whenever possible, but following my body's cues as to what it wants (esp since my nausea has been so much worse). It wants lots of veggies and cheese. So thats what it gets .

As for UC, seriously, it is SO appealing to me, but DH isn't so comfortable. And honestly, the thought of anything being wrong with that baby and us having to respond in an already tired and emotional place, well, I'm sure you go into action mode, but it freaks me out. I want the kind of experienced midwife, who sits outside our labor room, quietly reading or knitting, who comes in when we need her to/deals with emergencies, helps us clean up afterwards and thats that.

But, I will probably meet with the OB. JUST so that I can ask him my question that I really want the answer to which is what is all the fear about...I want him to look at my file, cross reference it with research and statistics and tell me honestly what he feels like my risks are. I want him to challenge me to think about testing I might have not considered and other things that might make this successful, and I want to have a wee bit of a relationship with him, just in case we decide/need to transfer, I feel like I am doing it to a slightly more friendly environment.

So, calling midwives tomorrow, I guess...guess I should tell DH .

Thanks again.

[rainbowmoon]

eastkygal- what I am saying is it sounds much like "dieting" planning to grow a smaller baby.

I was referring to the post made on the first page by RightofPassage


"Then work on growing a smaller baby, eliminate all/most sugars and processed food and make sure I was walking about 40-60 minutes a day. "

to me this is a little alarming. when I was planning my VBAC the thought to try to not let my baby grow too "big" just never crossed my mind! I was asking for research to back up that this is something one can control without restrictive type methods. (ie;growing a smaller baby)

[eastkygal]

Originally Posted by sharr610

As for diet, I think EVERY woman is different. In the past 2 years I've become extremely more aware of things from a traditonal/whole foods point of view. The milk I chugged before was organic, but super pasturized. This time, I'm just not able to stomach it as much and, looksie, smaller baby, but thats just me and the way my body processes things. I notice milk fills me up for only about 30 minutes...

I am a firm believer this go round of eating whole/real/organic/pastured foods whenever possible, but following my body's cues as to what it wants (esp since my nausea has been so much worse). It wants lots of veggies and cheese. So thats what it gets .

I think you are very right! Being in tune with your body is what is important most definitely when it comes to diet. It isn't depriving ourselves at all. Not at all.
Also, it can't hurt to interview every option you might have, and then follow your intuition. If I were facing the battle of a VBA2C where I live now, that is how I would start. I know here it would be a hard road. I hate that it might be a bit rough for you as well. It is shameful really. I hope someday, it won't be so.

Originally Posted by rainbowmoon

eastkygal- what I am saying is it sounds much like "dieting" planning to grow a smaller baby.

I was referring to the post made on the first page by RightofPassage


"Then work on growing a smaller baby, eliminate all/most sugars and processed food and make sure I was walking about 40-60 minutes a day. "

to me this is a little alarming. when I was planning my VBAC the thought to try to not let my baby grow too "big" just never crossed my mind! I was asking for research to back up that this is something one can control without restrictive type methods. (ie;growing a smaller baby)

OK, I totally agree with you. I don't think the focus should be trying to grow a smaller baby at all. I'm with you there. I believe we should focus on having our diet as healthy as possible and daily exercise to keep ourselves healthy. I think this should be something we do even when we aren't pregnant. I don't believe in restricting food intake at all, or depriving ourselves. I feel like listening to our body's cues, eating whole properly prepared foods is the main thing. I'm not on a "diet", but my diet (what I eat) is sound. So, no a pregnant woman shouldn't restrict her calories and fat just to try to grow a smaller baby. I do think that is dangerous.

[rainbowmoon]

eastkygal- we do agree I think I just confused ya! sorry!

I guess it is just so shocking to me because I have never thought to "try" to grow a larger or smaller baby in order to achieve a VBAC. I guess I can understand why someone would do it but I feel it could be dangerous to limit foods. Even just simple sugars.

[celestialdreamer]

I just had my 4th baby by HBAC with an amazing midwife in December. My 3rd baby was an unplanned urgent c/s for breech & distress and I was determined to have a VBAC with my 4th. I can tell you that I think it is GOOD that you found out now that your MW isn't totally comfortable. This gives you the opportunity to have plenty of time to find someone else. I live in an area where VBACs are banned at most hospitals, most midwives won't do them, but I found a very experienced homebirth midwife that truly believes in them. They are still out there! Having the support of her through the process was really helpful and I never really felt scared because of it. She's done VBACs for many, many years and she felt totally fine with me having one despite my kids only being 20 months apart.

Just FYI, I'm overweight and that wasn't an issue at all with my c/s. They had my baby out FAST. It also wasn't an issue with having a VBAC for me either. I just ate healthy (more of a traditional foods type diet, no dairy or wheat though) and kept moderatively active. I had a perfect 8lber who was born in a fast, uncomplicated waterbirth. Even with a less than 2 year spacing! You CAN do it mama s:

[BetsyS]

I don't have a lot to say, but I DID try to grow a smaller baby with #2. With my first, I was very uncomfortable in the last month of pregnancy, and I think his size contributed to my c-section (along with positioning).

My second baby was TWO pounds smaller. It was wonderful!! I was very pleased with the outcome. The major thing that I did was exercise (just 30 minutes of walking) 5 times a week in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters (too tired/nauseated in the first). I also worked harder at avoiding fast food and eating a better diet. I didn't restrict, just made better choices.

I'm pregnant with #3, and I'm again watching what I eat and exercising. For me, it made a huge difference. The pregnancy with #2 was worlds better than #1.

(FWIW, my babies were 11 lb, 14 oz and 9 lb, 7 oz. A 9 lber is much easier to carry than the 12 lber. LOL)

[sharr610]

So I met with x midwife yesterday and she was very clear that this was all about her and had nothing to do with me. Ok...I pretty much knew that, but good to hear.

I seem to be having a delayed anger reaction as today I am SO mad at her. While I understand on one level, on the other hand, I am starting to realize that I'm 21 weeks and that thats a long way into a pregnancy for lots of midwives here. The good midwives in this town fill up fast and often take the summer off.

So here I am. I called my first choice, with no call back. My next door neighbor (now only like 6 weeks) has an appointment with this first choice in a couple of weeks and was told on the phone that she would be taking all of July off(I'm due June 30)...Choice #2, well, I really don't want to call her, but it looks like I might. Lets hope she is available, because once she's out, all thats left are a handful of midwives that I just don't mesh with style wise and OBs.

So pissed. Guess I just needed to vent. I know this is NOTHING compared to the struggle many of you go through for your VBACs. I know that I should feel lucky to have options at all. Don't get me wrong. I just start to wonder if the universe is trying to send me a message. Is this a sign that I'm not meant to do this?

Ugh.

[nina_yyc]

Originally Posted by sharr610

True...but why would I want to fight so hard? The hospital is 5 minutes from my house. What are they/the ob really going to be able to give me that a midwife couldn't besides a big fat pain in my a##? I'm not trying to be defensive, I'm just seriously asking.

Well, since you asked ;-) I had a great attending OB at the hosp where I had my VBAC. My family practice doc called him to do a c/s for fetal distress and the (male) OB held back my cervix and helped me push the baby out with a vacuum. Hey, I would still look for a MW all things being equal...but there are good OBs out there and you need a care provider. It's just an interview.

Originally Posted by sharr610

I just start to wonder if the universe is trying to send me a message. Is this a sign that I'm not meant to do this?

Ummmm, NO. In your shoes I might talk to some local doulas. They might have some ideas about finding a caregiver and dealing with a hospital policy or MW that may not be your first choice.

I couldn't get a MW so I was with the hospital's low-risk clinic and kept getting referred to random attending OBs because of my stubbornly transverse baby at 38 weeks. I had a 36 hour labor and didn't get past 4cm until 35 hours. But I did it, and so can you.