Normal? (Impulse control)

[bluejaunte]

An example from this morning:

I pick him up.

He pulls my hair.

I explain to him that we don't pull hair, it hurts mommy, etc.

He says "yeah!" which generally means he understands something.

And pulls my hair again.

I put him down.

He cries like his little heart is broken.

I explain to him again about the hair-pulling and ask him if he's going to be gentle.

He says yeah.

I pick him up.

He pulls my hair.

Rinse, repeat.

This doesn't happen often, but when it does it takes some distracting to get him to stop. Other examples include throwing balls at mommy's head, etc.

He turned 2 in December. We definitely see lots of examples of him testing his boundaries. Is that what this sounds like? Normal toddler stuff?

[smerkin]

Whenever my LO scratches, bites, hits, etc...I always tell her no, no give kisses, don't (fill in blank). And she laughs and kisses me or her toy or whatever. And sometimes when she's mad and would have bitten me or her toy she starts kissing and that makes her laugh. She's doing it a lot less now! HTH!

[Tjej]

(pulls) OW! Gentle with Mama (take baby's hand and pet hair)... (pulls again) OW! You play on the floor now. Mama doesn't want to be hurt. (some crying) You're sad because you want up. Mama can't hold you when you hurt her. (more crying) (I hug) It is important to be gentle. Look at this car! Zoom, Zoom... Vrrrrrrrooom!

For us it seems to work, unless my child was overtired. Then that was the true problem, not the needing to learn to not pull Mama's hair.

You'll note that my DC got/gets one chance to do it again after the reminder - then they are done for the time being. I don't just let myself get injured over and over. I try to have a very clear boundary.

Generally trying to replace the negative behavior/idea with a positive one (be GENTLE) and not really even saying "pull hair" seems to work well with my kids.

Oh, and I also will do the "time in" where my child sits, I get eye contact and get them to say "gentle" themself. But my child is older (2).

Tjej