getting her to take more initiative

[lisavark]

So we have been *so* close to graduation for...well, at least a year. DD will be two at the end of this month, and she's been wearing underwear during the day, and pretty much staying dry with only occasional misses, since she was a year old. However, I have to take the initiative to keep her dry. If I back off, she pees on herself. For a while there we got to where I just had to ask if she needed to go, and she would answer truthfully yes or no--if she said no, I could trust that she wasn't going to pee herself, and if she needed to go she would say yes and then go potty. But recently she went back to always saying no and then peeing on herself every few hours. I resorted (again, lol) to "bribing" and persuading her to use the potty even when she says she doesn't need to go. (I offer special toys, different locations, I have her help me go first and then she takes a turn, or I say her doll needs to go...etc.) But she's very much in a "I do it!" stage right now, and I want to honor that by letting her take control of when she goes. At the same time, I don't want to let her pee on the floor, especially when I know that by working together we can avoid that, and I certainly am not willing to put her back in diapers (although I have had a couple days when I resorted to trainers). I've actually considered trying something like this: http://www.pottytimeinc.com/. It's a watch with a timer you can set. The toddler wears the watch, and when the timer goes off, they know it's time to go potty. Honestly, I think DD would LOVE it--she's nuts about jewelry (such a girly girl, lol), and she really likes routine (well, of course, since she's two). But it seems...I dunno, a little non-EC-ish to me. I don't know why. Any thoughts? Would you try something like that? Anybody have better ideas?

TIA!

[catccc]

I might get some finger wagging for this, but I think as babies get closer to 2 years old, there are more ways that EC and "traditional" potty training overlap, and I think that is okay. So I say go for it. If you have a regular digital watch with a countdown timer, that might work to, and that way you wouldn't have to buy anything.

I use timing a lot with DD, esp. since she is very active (at 15 mos) and I can't really catch tiny signals like I used to. I don't see anything wrong with letting your LO in on the timing aspect of it.

As for other ideas, I just say let go a bit and she'll probably get to it (graduation) in her own time.

[hrsmom]

Hi Lisa- I don't actually have any ideas, but I wanted to say that I can totally relate to having to coax the pee out of her! That's how it goes around here, too! (Probably goes with the age?) We have a potty that plays a musical tune when pee goes in it, and she liked that for a couple of days. The novelty wore off, though! Now we have the sound turn off and just use the potty. The watch sounds like a fun idea! Let us know if you try and if you like it!

[sapphire_chan]

If she'd get a kick out of it, then how would it be different from you watching the clock and asking if she needs to go? As long as you don't nag her about it as if you would .

I'd maybe make part of using the watch that after she knows what it means, it's in her control unless you're seeing a potty dance or other obvious signal.

And a big on letting us know how it works. ( who knows, maybe someone here will end up buying it from you after your LO graduates.)

[lisavark]

Well, I tried using my phone alarm as a timer yesterday, but it didn't help at all. The first time I explained to her what the alarm was for, she really liked the idea. The first time the alarm went off, I asked, "What does that mean?" and she said, "Potty!" All excited. She went to sit on the potty--but she'd already peed in her trainers.

No worries, I thought. I just made the interval too long. I reset the alarm, for a little sooner this time. I explained that when the alarm went off, it would be potty time again. When the alarm went off and I asked her what it meant, she said, "Potty!" Again, all excited. "Ok, let's go potty!" I said. And she said, "No." Really didn't want to go. Ok, I thought, maybe I set it too soon this time, and I and reset the alarm for half an hour later. About twenty minutes later she made the "sss" signal and said "potty." Yep, she'd peed in her pants again.

And that was pretty much how it went the whole day--I don't think we had a single catch yesterday, which is basically unheard of for us. Meanwhile, I asked the same question on the EC yahoo group, and somebody said something along the lines of peeing in her pants is a negative experience for both of us, so if you can avoid that you might as well, and it's okay if that means it's parent-directed for now. Sure, lots of EC kids are more independent by this age, but hey, she's not even two yet! It's no big deal if she needs me to persuade her to go potty.

I might still try the watch, though, because I think that if she felt more in charge of the alarm then she might be more willing to go potty when it's time. We recently made a bedtime routine chart, and she absolutely LOVES following it. The whole reason I made it was because she was refusing to go potty before bed, but now she looks at the poster, announces that potty comes next, and *runs* to the potty, pulls her own pants down, and sits and pees--even if she just peed half an hour ago. I wonder if I could make a chart of our daytime routine that had something like that? It's not so structured, but maybe a picture would get her more excited about it...

Hmm. Let me know if any of you have ideas for that!

[sapphire_chan]

You need a watch that can flip up a little potty picture.

Maybe just put a few potty times like "wake up, potty, eat breakfast, brush teeth. Have lunch, go potty. Bedtime routine..."

So she ends up taking responsibility for 3 potty times?

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Maybe just put a few potty times like "wake up, potty, eat breakfast, brush teeth. Have lunch, go potty. Bedtime routine..."

This is exactly what I was going to suggest.