how did you handle hospital birth while nursing a toddler?

[EzzysMom]

I just rather realized, that when I give birth, if I do it in the hospital again, they won't allow my daughter (age 2) in to see me. Nevermind her being seriously unhappy that I'm not there at night to nurse, but she would be severely limited in her contact with me. I don't think they allow children in the maternity ward. I guess I could go outside the maternity ward to nurse her and leave the baby with DH? We're looking into home birth, but if things don't go to plan how did you handle this? I don't want to nurse all through pregnancy with all those pains just to have her get cold turkey weaned for 3 days and THEN quit on me.

[pbjmama]

I would call the hospital to ask. Are you in the US? I can't imagine that they would not let an immediate family member in to see you?

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by pbjmama

I would call the hospital to ask. Are you in the US? I can't imagine that they would not let an immediate family member in to see you?

It's an age thing. Some hospitals don't let children under a certain age into the ward at all. Plus, with the previous H1N1 scare a lot of hospitals have put a ban on children anywhere but the lobby of hospitals.

[hedgehogs4]

Before worrying too much, check with your midwife/dr. and the hospital to know their policies - often a dr.'s okay gets past regulations anyway. I had no problem getting my son in to see me or tandem nursing in the hospital, even if I was a bit unusual. FWIW - my two get along great and to some extent I think tandem nursing helped their relationship greatly! Congrats!

Oh, also don't forget it's easier to apologize that it is to ask permission!

[EmmysMama]

Ask, but make sure you're asking the right questions!

I straight-out asked during our tour "Will there be any problems with DD1 being here and nursing?" I was told there would not be. No age restrictions, flu restrictions, nothing.

Then after DD2 was born I was moved to the "Maternity Recovery Ward" which nobody told me had different rules from the "Family Birth Center" (nobody even mentioned it being a different area!). My new nurse was immediately demanding that DD1 leave RIGHT NOW because the rule was only one family member, over age 18, after visiting hours. What to do with her, she didn't know or care.

Since we live over an hour away, and nobody else could take DD1 (nor would we have wanted them to) I spent that first night totally alone with DD2, unless you count the baby nurse who woke me up to harass me about cosleeping every 30 minutes. Meanwhile DH and DD1 spent money we didn't have on a hotel room. I was lucky enough to have a great OB, an easy birth, and an outside-the-box ped. They cleared me to go at 9 am the next day, otherwise I would have had to fight to leave AMA. More than 1 night would have been horrible.

[EzzysMom]

Originally Posted by EmmysMama

Ask, but make sure you're asking the right questions!

I straight-out asked during our tour "Will there be any problems with DD1 being here and nursing?" I was told there would not be. No age restrictions, flu restrictions, nothing.

Then after DD2 was born I was moved to the "Maternity Recovery Ward" which nobody told me had different rules from the "Family Birth Center" (nobody even mentioned it being a different area!). My new nurse was immediately demanding that DD1 leave RIGHT NOW because the rule was only one family member, over age 18, after visiting hours. What to do with her, she didn't know or care.

Since we live over an hour away, and nobody else could take DD1 (nor would we have wanted them to) I spent that first night totally alone with DD2, unless you count the baby nurse who woke me up to harass me about cosleeping every 30 minutes. Meanwhile DH and DD1 spent money we didn't have on a hotel room. I was lucky enough to have a great OB, an easy birth, and an outside-the-box ped. They cleared me to go at 9 am the next day, otherwise I would have had to fight to leave AMA. More than 1 night would have been horrible.

yeah that's pretty much the thing I'm afraid of. We'll see what happens and just try to get out of there as quickly as possible, if we don't go the home route. Thanks

[Cativari]

I just had a hospital birth with both of my kids (DS 2, DD almost 4) in attendence. They were both there for the birth and for as long as we wanted. DS nursed right after DD2 was born and like when DS was born DD2's first nursing was a tandam. In the end we did opt for the kids to go home with DH at night because it was easier on them to be home then in an unfamilar place and there not being a lot of room. That being said when DS was born DD and DH stayed the whole time we were at the hospital.

I did make sure ahead of time that it was okay for the kiddos to be there and I was told as long as there was someone there to watch them. I think it's very dependent on what hospital you give birth at. Another hopital I looked at wouldn't allow anyone under 12 in the maternity ward and no one under 18 for births.

[SGDavis]

I totally understand your concern. I couldn't imagine not having my DS1 with me after DD2 was born. Not that he really wanted to nurse. He seemed to preoccupied with everything going on and the new baby to nurse, until we left 3 hours later for the hotel across the street!! We gave birth the 2nd time at a birthing center! I was out of my room an hour after I gave birth and then they released me 2 hours later. Hope you get to home birth!! That would be my next choice of birthing locations if we go for our 3rd! Good luck with the hospital.

[ishyfishie]

We're planning a homebirth partly because of this, but I wanted to address this:

Originally Posted by EzzysMom

I don't want to nurse all through pregnancy with all those pains just to have her get cold turkey weaned for 3 days and THEN quit on me.

(Even if you didn't "mean it," I think it's worth discussing!) Don't discount the value of nursing through the pregnancy, even if your dd weans in the end! Kids might wean at any time, you can't predict that--I know of toddlers who nursed through an entire pregnancy and then stopped immediately when the mother's milk came in, even though the mother planned on tandem nursing and nursed the toddler during labor. Even if you're not separated from your dd, she could wean during your pregnancy, at the end of the pregnancy, when the baby arrives, shortly afterward, or not for a long time...there's just no way to know.

Even if my 2.5 yo weans after I give birth, these past 6 months of painful dry-nursing will still have been worth it to me and I'm sure to dd1 as well! It hasn't been "fun" by any means and for me, the pain/irritation never went away, but it's been so important to dd1 to have that chance to nurse, I wouldn't consider it wasted effort at all (though I do hope and expect she'll continue to nurse).

[LilMomma83]

I would just have somebody bring your toddler in.

My dad was planning to bring my DS1 in during my labor with DS2, he wasn't able to make it, but, he brought him afterward and I nursed him then. Then I left the hospital a day early and they provided me with a home care visit at no extra cost to me.

The hospital I used does allow SIBLINGS of any age to visit, but, we went to another hospital when DS1 was a baby where he supposedly was not allowed (he was a cousin, not a sibling) and just walked right in with him (didn't ask, for fear they would say no) nobody said anything other than "oh he's so cute." And MY siblings came to visit DS1 when he was born and they were under 12 and nobody said anything - but, again, we didn't ask.

[Drummer's Wife]

My DS was 2 when our last baby was born, and he was nursing super frequently, including all night long! He actually did really well while I was in the hospital - my mom stayed with the kids, and brought them up several times to see us (I had a c-section, so my stay was longer). I offered to nurse him, but he was too interested in the baby, the hospital room, etc. so he didn't end up wanting to nurse (odd for him, b/c even at 3 he nursed a ton). He had no problems picking back up when I was home - in fact, I tandem nursed them both for a year, include night nursing together.

[EzzysMom]

thank you guys for the reassurance that it could both become her time to wean as well as it could be a non-event. I still think we'll more fully explore the home birth route as I think it will be less disruptive to us all. Working on night-weaning right now and it's going well, she finally seems ok with it, although constantly reminds me during the day 'sun is up. nurse now'