Siblings shared room/bedtime routine

[ivymae]

Our girls, 2 and 4, share a room and spend the majority of the night in their own beds. This is a huge cause for celebration, since it's been a long road to get there.

Our battle now though is the bedtime routine. We do baths, teeth, books and songs, and then it is lights out. DH and I disagree on one point: should the girls be able to play quietly in their room after 'lights out'? I think that bedtime = bedtime, and that they need a consistent boundary, otherwise what is to keep them from playing for an hour, keeping the other sister awake? DH feels like I am expecting to much of them, and fighting them into bed is not worth the drama that ensues.

We agree that we need to be consistent with our expectations, and I guess I am just looking for any insight into the situation. I don't want them to be sleep deprived, because that makes our day so very long, but I also don't want to be fighting with them at bedtime every night. Help?

[Maluhia]

I think setting rules about play - they can quietly talk to one another if they are each in their bed, is reasonable. If you notice them really staying up much later you could do a "timer" where they could talk for 10 minutes then it was "quiet time" at the end of the night and no more play?

I think you *might* be able to make that rule work for the 4 year old but the 2 year old just can't yet hold back the joy of being with an older sibling so maybe a sliding scale with the goal of bed time = quiet time in about a year or two. You could put them to bed *earlier* if they are naturally playing too long...

[AkRotts]

My 3 1/2 yo twins share a bedroom. For them bedtime = bedtime not playtime. They can lay in bed and talk to each other, but they need to stay in bed.

We are just about to finish remodeling their bedroom and as soon as their new beds arrive (in 8 weeks) our soon to be 3yo will be joining the twins. I think there will be quite a bit of adjustment once she is added to the mix. She has never slept anywhere other than my bed, so it is a huge deal to her to be getting her own bed and to be moving into their bedroom.

I have had all three of them in my room for the past three weeks while we were doing the remodel and there was quite a bit of talking going on at bedtime, so I imagine that will continue once they are all in their own room. It has been a lot of fun sharing a room with them and listening to them talk to each other at night and in the mornings when they get up

I work full time and have to get up at 4am every morning, so I am pretty strict about the no playing at bedtime rule. I can't go to sleep until they are asleep, so the sooner they get to sleep, the sooner *I* get to sleep