For those who chose to UC, what were your reasons for doing so? - Page 2

[Luvmykiddos03]

We just UHBAC in December and it went WONDERFULLY!

My story is kind of long, as I haven't really posted on these boards since the first time I tried to UC and it didn't happen. Long story short, we had planned a UC in 2008. Everything was fine until I started realizing I was very big for how many weeks along I was. I decided to measure myself for the first time and I was already over 40cm at just 28 weeks. So then I contacted a local midwife I knew had also UC'ed and asked if she'd see me, because I believed I was having twins. She did see me and also felt I was having twins. She knew someone who would give me an US and I was scheduled for one the following week. I'm 29 1/2 weeks at this point. Needless to say, I never made it to the US, because I went into pre-term labor with our twin baby girls and a few hours after birth, they went to be with our Savior! Not a single doctor in this world could have saved them. They would have died regardless of when or where I gave birth to them! It was God's plan and I know He shielded me from a LOT more pain by putting on my heart the desire to UC in the first place! I'm so thankful I didn't know what we know now about our girls, because I got to really enjoy the pregnancy with them. My main regret...I didn't get to have them at home where we could have peacefully been with them as they took their final breath. Instead, I got to deal with nurses and doctors who had to swallow their pride from how they treated us before our girls died in our arms afterwards. Long story!

I mention that, not to scare you, but to make you well aware that babies DO DIE and most often times, you couldn't have saved them regardless of where or how you gave birth. Doctors/midwives are not God, they are limited men/women who have no ability to create life and they certainly have no ability to over power God. God has given man amazing abilities for us to help one another, but He also limits those abilities according to His plan.

With that said, my UC desire began with my desire to birth at home, because I was born at home! After two hospital births that I was less than pleased with, I knew there was another way. Knowing I was birthed at home, I researched why on earth my Mother would have chosen this route. This was all BEFORE becoming pregnant at all. However, I watched, "Business of Being Born" in February 2008, and was pregnant with our twin girls in March 2008. From there, I found this website where I was first introduced to UC. I came here looking for references to midwives, because I honestly didn't think there was any other way. Then I saw UC here, read the stories, and researched Shanley's website like crazy. And then it just clicked! As a Christian, I know who my God is and I know that if He created our bodies to birth from the creation of Adam and Eve, and He didn't make midwives or doctors to go with them, then I know He created us to birth without them all these thousands of years later. And with that, my desire to UC came from my desire to trust in my Lord and Savior to bring our babies safely into this world.

With that, one may say, "Well, you didn't get your wish, so God must not have heard your prayer and desire." Oh, but He did!!! Let me explain.

I've never shared this on here, but I will now. Our girls were conjoined twins, at the chest. Full bodies for each of our girls, completely normal otherwise, but just joined at the chest. No one knew this until we gave birth. During the US at the hospital, before giving birth to them, the doctors could not find our girls at all under all the fluid (conjoined twins often times have extra fluid...mine did). Needless to say, I know God hid them away, because had the doctors found out they were conjoined, I would have been sliced vertically, not horizontally. I was forced into a c-section (though, everything was completely fine at that point, and already 9cm 100% effaced, just going into labor too early). They sliced me in the optimal place for a VBAC, not realizing they were conjoined. By the time they realized it, they were already out!!!

Sooooo, needless to say, God did give me my hearts desire...just 15 months later! And he is as healthy as can be, sleeping peacefully next to me now!

This is NOT to say doctors/midwives have not been extremely helpful in assisting in life threatening situations. Not at all! Some believe I could not have birthed our conjoined twins without a c-section, but our girls came when they were the size of any normal infant. God knew what He was doing. I could have birthed them vaginally, just as women with conjoined twins did before c-sections came along. Ever heard of the infamous Siamese twins? They were conjoined at the hip. I don't even want to think about what their Mom went through, but she did survive, as did they! And so have many others without a "needed" c-section. So was I saved from impending death? I don't know. All I know is that I'm still alive today and I very much know I experienced the c-section for a reason...to bring glory to God, regardless of why.

Trust your instincts. Even I called our friend midwife while I was in labor to ask a question. It was nice to have her to do that, but I certainly didn't need her in the room to ask that question. I feel so blessed to have had her, though!

It's a personal decision that only you and your husband can make together. Hope this helps!

[Luvmykiddos03]

**And just wanted to add. This was first time I had ever given birth naturally, so I had no idea what to expect, per se. Needless to say, looking back, I completely see how I really did absolutely nothing, except follow my body's cues that God gave us to listen to. In fact, my dream of a water birth went to pot when suddenly, a moment before my son was born, I couldn't birth in the pool any longer and suddenly shot up from my position, squatted, and out he came without another push. I didn't plan for that. It just happened. So he was born above the water into Daddy's arms! LOL! You will know what to do. Just listen to your body's cues!

[accountclosed3]

that is an amazing story Luv. I'm really impressed with your expression of your experience and simply awed by the experience itself. truly amazing. thank you so much for sharing that with us!

[Serenyd]

My reasons for UC'ing initially, were dissatisfaction with medicalized childbirth, lack of a midwife within driving distance, and the lack of privacy in the hospital environment. I felt violated by my hospital experience, and physically and emotionally damaged by it, I felt that my son suffered from my pitocin induction (he went into distress) and that the side effects from the drugs I was given severely impacted my ability to bond after the birth. I did not like the rough handling and forced separation my son was put through either. I count my hospital birth the first in a long line of bad choices I made as a new mom. I wish I had taken the time to educate myself better.

My first UC was very painful physically, but the 3 day birth high I got afterwards more than made up for it. It was wonderful to be able to hold my son and bond after his birth without a lot of people around, poking and prodding. Being able to move around during my labor allowed me to cope with the back labor that I know I couldn't have stood if I had been stuck in a hospital bed. I am proud that I was able to give him a "gentle birth" into the world. I felt like superwoman afterwards for being able to give birth naturally, without painkillers. It was something I never thought I would be strong enough to do!

My 2nd UC, of my daughter, was a bit anticlimactic after the excitement of my son's UC, but just as sweet. I labored through the night while my family slept, birthing her peacefully into my hands in the wee hours of the morning, while it was still dark outside. Only then did I call for her dad to come and help me, I had thought I had more time and didn't want to wake him needlessly. I remember kissing her wet, warm head and telling her I loved her. That moment was just between us, mother and daughter. It was so primal and we share a special bond that will last for a lifetime.

[Snapdragon]

It is so great to read these stories! Keep them coming if anyone else wants to share.

[ladyelms]

having been a midwife assistant and knowing what normal birth looks like (and all its variations) i felt there wasn't anything i (or my dh) couldn't do that a midwife in attendance could. i also had a doppler. not sure i would have felt comfortable proceeding w/ a UC w/o those two factors.

[ladyelms]

wow, serenyd, your UC w/ your dd sounds like a dream. that would be my next ideal birth at this point, but likely not realistic.

and editing to just say, in regards to birth hi's, i was on mine for the full year following mine. <3 it may have something to do w/ my being preoccupied w/ wanting another right away, when never before had i felt that way.

[Luvmykiddos03]

Originally Posted by zoebird

that is an amazing story Luv. I'm really impressed with your expression of your experience and simply awed by the experience itself. truly amazing. thank you so much for sharing that with us!

Thank you, Zoebird, that really means a lot to me! Glad it blessed one person! And I forgot to mention that my UC was by no means "perfect" in the sense of it being an "optimal" birth (whatever that is). It was my hardest, yet shortest, birth...but everything went wonderfully! Just so many things about it I wish I could share, but I'd be here awhile.

[lightinmyhands]

reasons

My reason for UCing was rather simple. Regardless of cultural domestication, deep down, I am a wild animal. Ucing was the right thing for my animal to do. And in retrospect, I look back at how magickal that experience was. My first daughter was a hospital birth, and I feel deep regret when memories surface. If I had it to do again, I wouldn't do it any other way.

[MyBoysBlue]

Necessity was what finally made me make the decision to seriously look into UC. But It was something I had dreamed of doing but I didn't think it was an OK or even safe thing to do. I actually thought I would get in trouble if I decided to just stay home. I looked into getting a midwife but there just wasn't any in the area at the time. My first son, born in hospital, was born really quickly just 2.5 hours from when I was awaken from sleep until he was born. We then moved about a half hour from the closest hospital and my DH and I both had a feeling that it would go even faster and if we tried for the hospital he would be born in the car. We figured it would be safer to just give birth at home. This led me to MDC and the concept of UC and I was hooked. I had DS 2 in just 25 minutes. He would have been born in the car if we had tried. Many people think it was an accident because he was born so quickly. What they don't know is that I had decided to stay home and have a UC even if it had been a slower labour.

[softeemommapads]

After two hospital births I knew I was ready

I had both of my sons in the hospital. My second one was nonmedicated and supposed to be all natural and peaceful. I had a midwife deliver him at the hospital but even though I had expressed all my concerns to her about how I wanted to birth and so on...that was all thrown out the window when I got to the hospital. No one would listen to me or what I wanted. I pushed him out laying on my back in all sorts of pain. They gave me pitocin RIGHT after...I didnt find out til I had a load of it in me already. They took my baby within 30 minutes of me having him and he was completely healthy and normal. My midwife manually detached my placenta which caused a little more than normal bleeding they said...although I thought it was MUCH less than what I had had with my first son so who knows! I am 9 weeks prego now but hubby and I have been talking about a homebirth for a long time now. After watching the business of being born I was convinced I truly wanted an unassisted birth. My husband will be deployed when baby is born so my best friend and mother will be there with me. Who better to help you birth right? Two women who have been through just what you are going through. Plus I dont want to be in a hospital without a voice...Even though I have an OB I trust with my life. I dont trust that my birthing plan will be respected in a hospital. They try and will control everything. I have already researched herbs I will need and supplies Im also working on becoming a certified doula so I have a textbook with a lot of things about emergency stuff..Im so inspired by all of your stories and I cant WAIT to share mine!

[claddaghmom]

It's hard to nail it down...so many reasons, so many little paths in life making their mark...

First, I think my parents had a big influence on me. When I was pregnant I still had to work through the options and come to my own decision, but the fact that I had options is definitely b/c of my childhood with them. I'm the product of an extremely traumatic, psychotic birth. People often disbelieve me when they get the details. After 2 more traumatic births, my mom left the hospital for good.

She considered a HB dr and a HB CNM b/c that was the law. But ended up feeling the same "vibe" from them. She to this day calls it a "hospital birth in your bedroom." So she did the "call him too late" method.

After that, they went on to have 7 more UC in a different state. A couple times transferring for stitches.

So I had a very open idea of birthing, and I was already clued into the hazards of hospitals/OBs by the time I was pregnant.

Still, I found myself almost unwilling to accept that OBs could be so bad. Despite loving the idea of an UC (especially being Catholic and reading Moran's book!) I found myself on this adventure to prove that an OB could be nice, that a hospital could have a good outcome. Looking back, I think I was responding to my friends. They all had hospital births and they all swore up and down that their OBs were great. (e.g. I remember being chastized on FB for posting the obstetrician song).

And so began, in my 1st trimester, a round of interviews, internet research, phone calls and a prenatal appt. Midwives were illegal. I couldn't find any CNMs. I couldn't find a birth center near me. I checked out a few OBs. My jaw dropped many times. (If you don't cut the cord soon enough the baby will explode BTW). I noticed a name pop up frequently surrounding "natural" birth and waterbirth. One doctor in my state, at one hospital, "allowed" water labor. No birth. First come first served basis for 2 in hospital pools.

So I scheduled an appt. with her. And got a strange, unjustifiable, unexplainable urge to run. I literally had a panic attack in that waiting room. I have never felt such a thing before but I certainly wasn't going to ignore it. I had no explanation whatsoever. But I left. DH saw me shaking and just said, "let's go."

Anyways, after that I planned an UC and we almost made it. DD was malpositioned and we called in an UG MW who helped turn her head and showed DH how to move her past the pubic bone. I didn't get my waterbirth either b/c I had to put so much effort into pushing, I couldn't maintain a comfortable position in the pool.

Everyone was fine afterwards and it left with me a stronger desire to UC. Looking back, I see several things I didn't want, things that give me a feeling of invasion. The MW was a wonderful person and I could tell she was experienced. I would call on her in an instant if I felt we needed a professional.

But something in my personality wants to birth alone. At this point, it's not related to any outside influences. The insanity of the medical industry, friends, my parents, none of that really matters to me at this point. I just feel an intense, deep desire to be with my husband and DD, in our home, birthing our child. When I play out the scenario, I see us, quiet, in darkness, holding baby #2 in the pool.

Can't explain it.

[mamallama]

I uc'd my third.

Firstborn was hospital birth, induction due to prom. It was short and relatively easy, as far as induction goes, but the whole hospital ticket (and the resulting breastfeeding issues) was just not what I'd wanted.

Had a CNM attended homebirth with my second. Had a pph, significant enough that I passed out & required fluids, pit, and methergine. It was days before I could get out of bed, and weeks before I could stay up all day. I felt like the hemorrhage started when the nurse (the one I didn't like was on call) handed off 3rd stage to the green student. I said the placenta was coming, the student asked me to wait until she got the clamp on the cord. I remember her criticizing my baby's umbilical cord as being "too thick." That contraction passed, and I still hadn't passed the (detached) placenta. No one realized it might be a problem. The next contraction came several minutes later, and the placenta was followed by a huge gush that just didn't stop. I remember very little of the immediate postpartum--except that once I felt the bp cuff and heard the nurse say 60/40.

Initially, I felt great about my second birth. I felt like the midwives responded well to a crisis and kept me at home, even though it was a dicey decision (in hindsight, I needed blood, and they should have taken me in for some.) After I learned a little more (I became a doula & a student of birth) and processed it for a bit (years, actually,) I came around to thinking that maybe the pph was iatrogenic. I was angry, furious, for a while. I felt like I had traded my instinct for expertise, and as a result I lost my immediate post-partum, and started out parenting a newborn and a feisty two year old from a seriously compromised position.

Six years after the pph, I got pregnant again. I knew the type of practitioner I wanted, and I knew what would be a good philosophical match for me. I got lucky in that there was a practitioner with both qualifications in my city--unfortunately, we just didn't have the chemistry.

I hired her anyway. After a couple of prenatals, I realized it just wasn't going to work. I knew I could construct the bubble I needed to connect with my baby and listen to my body (a requirement for a safe birth,) but I just didn't want to do that extra work in labor. So I had a hard talk with the midwife. She agreed to be on call for me, should I come up with anything that made me uneasy.

It worked out great. I did end up calling her (had a bad doula experience--the worst--when I was 32 wks) & she came, said what she needed to say, and then backed right off. She drew me a bath, helped dh clean up, checked the baby at my request, and left.

I am not planning on any more babies (dh had a vas,) but if I were, as much as I loved my uc, I would not just plan another one. I would have to make the decision again.

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by ladyelms

wow, serenyd, your UC w/ your dd sounds like a dream. that would be my next ideal birth at this point, but likely not realistic.

and editing to just say, in regards to birth hi's, i was on mine for the full year following mine. <3 it may have something to do w/ my being preoccupied w/ wanting another right away, when never before had i felt that way.

I remember when Jude was born! Congrats on being pregnant again! I wanted another right away after Caden was born, too. Having two close together has been an experience - Kind of like birth - hard but rewarding!

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by lightinmyhands

Ucing was the right thing for my animal to do.

Love that!

(I think that sometimes we feel pressured to intellectualize our decision to UC, and really it's just a natural thing to want to do)

[Mother Cake]

Originally Posted by Serenyd

(I think that sometimes we feel pressured to intellectualize our decision to UC, and really it's just a natural thing to want to do)

I've been lurking here, b/c I'm trying to figure out how to answer the people who ask why I want to UC, as if I'd be crazy to want that. The idea just feels right to me (no babies yet, but planning to start TTC soon, and talking to DH about UC). Now I'm trying to figure out my answer to WHY?

[accountclosed3]

right. it just seemed right to me. i intellectualized after. LOL

[fezinafelina]

I haven't had my UC YET but I'm trying my hardest to make sure I do
Why consider a UC now?
My first two births were in the hospital and were horrible experiences for me.
I had a horrific induction with my 1st (5 days of cervidel and pitocen with no food or pain relief) by the time I did give birth to him my body and spirit were so battered that I failed at breast feeding and had a very long very hard recovery.
My second ended up in an "emergency" c-section because my daughter was frank breech, the who experience of being section was barbaric to me, how anyone can call being stripped naked in front of a full OR, strapped down crucifixion style, paralyzed from the chest down and cut open all while being awake and aware a "routine" procedure I just can't comprehend.
Medically I healed well without incident, emotionally the experience still haunts me.
I'm now pregnant with my third and had already decided to have a VBAC without ANY intervention during birth. The i couldn't find an OB that did VBAC, the only hospital here has a ban on them and there are no practicing midwives in my area.
We had the choice of either submitting to completely unnecessary surgery, going to the hospital and doing battle by refusing surgery and interventions (at the risk of dealing with pissed off staff and the possibility of being sectioned against my will) or staying home and having a UC.
The more we researched and talked about it the more we felt like UC was the best option for us.
Since my husband and I decided to go this route the nightmares I've been having about being sectioned against my will have stopped and I feel a tremendous amount of peace about the situation.
Not to mention the fact that my husband is 100% supportive of UC, the same man who NEVER in a MILLION years would have agreed to a homebirth with my other two (almost passed out when our first was crowning) has made a complete 180 on his perceptions of birth and is now reading up, trusts my body and is prepared to help me deliver his baby in our home.
If that's not a sign i don't know what is!!!