Suddenly refusing to nurse to sleep, help please.

[Beauchamp]

What is going ON?!? DD has officially taken over 2/3 of a KING SIZE BED. DH has been sleeping on the floor, wedged in between our mattress and his dresser. (Literally. He has maybe a 2' wide space.)

She won't nurse to sleep anymore. She nurses, gets sleepy, closes her eyes halfway, tugs on her hair, etc....then unlatches and rolls away from me. I think she's gonna stay asleep and then she rolls on her belly and sits up, starts to crawl away, and is awake again.

DH has been wearing her down in the Ergo with Bob Marley or Norah Jones on the stereo. But what happened? I feel like we are getting SO limited in ways to put her to sleep. I tried holding and swaying, singing, rocking in the chair (she HATES her feet to touch anything I guess, because she just stands up in the chair)...NOTHING ELSE works.

And to make matters worse, she is an ultralight sleeper, so we walk on eggshells to lay her down and pray she doesn't wake up after such a long routine.

DH can usually lay her in the bed or crib. But now she's waking (teething?) many, many times per night (6? 7?) and I just keep her in our bed because I don't have the mental energy to try to move her back to her (sidecarred) crib after so much work of nursing laying propped on my elbow and slooooowly inching away when she's done. (laying with her arms straight out, hence the taking up of half of our bed.)

WHY oh why is she being so picky? When I was a baby, I was a "sleeper", or so my mom says. I didn't ever expect to have these kinds of problems with my baby! She needs sleep! I need sleep! I've gotta get my DH off the floor!

It's makes me feel like an incompetent mom because I can't simply hold and calm my child. I feel like she should be able to simply relax and fall asleep in my arms, wherever we are, as long as she is tired.

[prancie]

it's most likely a phase you will have to work through. As for light sleeping get a white noise machine and you should be much better off.

[VaDoula]

A white noise machine will definitly help with the having to be quiet and tiptoe around.

[CrunchyMamaB]

we went through this too, when DS was 6 or 7 months (he's now 9.5)...he went back to nursing to sleep, it was a weird phase, and he was learning to crawl at the same time and it just made him too busy to relax and drift off after nursing.
Of course...he still wakes up a few times. and last night he was up from 1-4 crying on and off until I finally brought him into bed with me and kicked DH out and into the guest room.

So...we aren't really a model for good sleep habits

[Beauchamp]

yes, we already HAVE white noise, Distant Thunderstorm & Rain on CD, played at a high volume, for both night & naps.

Last night she woke up at least every hour, and DH slept on the floor again.

[j_p_i]

Our LO's are just about the same age, and we've been going through a rough sleeping patch too. DD is ultra wiggly and wakes up often, and despite sleeping better last night she was up 1.5 hours early. Lots of mamas from my DDC have babies 2-4 weeks older, and this sleep pattern seems to be just resolving for them. I guess I don't have much advice, but it has helped me to know that this seems to be a common pattern that (hopefully) doesn't last too long.

Sorry you're having a rough time!

[Louisep]

Your dd is at a rough age for sleep. Ds was terribly restless between 5-9 months learning to crawl, stand, and walk. We have also had to change up how we get him to sleep many times (nursing to sleep stopped working around 5 months). Finally, at 9.5 months he stopped moving so much in his sleep and would fall asleep lying down cuddling. Unfortunately he continued to wake every 1-2 hours until recently.

Do you have a sofa your dh can sleep on? Maybe buy an inflatable mattress for him for the living room? Are you taking naps when you can (when baby naps and at the weekend?). I realized getting through these phases is as much about managing your own sleep as dc's.

[littlebearsmama]

When my 18 month old son wakes up that often in the night, something is usually bothering him...like a cold coming on, teething, or a wet diaper. Have you checked all of the usual suspects? If he doesn't want to nurse to sleep and still seems fiesty after nursing, I let him crawl around on the bed or play on the floor until he's ready to sleep. When the room is dark and the door closed, it usually only takes a few minutes before he's wanting to join me back in bed. Good luck!

[flagirl1]

Just wanted to say that our LOs are about 12 days apart and we just started experiencing the same thing! I've always nursed him to sleep in the glider and then put him down asleep and now, he will fall asleep in my arms but the slightest noise or movement will wake him so its hard to put him down. And sometimes he'll wake up for no reason in my arms and start crying and pushing away from me and arching his back and flailing his arms . . . and he won't want to nurse and then he's awake for 30-60 mins before he'll nurse to sleep. I have no idea what gives. . . . its making bedtime very stressful!

hang in there!

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by Louisep

Finally, at 9.5 months he stopped moving so much in his sleep and would fall asleep lying down cuddling.

Do you have a sofa your dh can sleep on? Maybe buy an inflatable mattress for him for the living room? Are you taking naps when you can (when baby naps and at the weekend?).

I SO WISH she could go to sleep cuddling. I have to laugh when NCSS or Sears says to cuddle up with your baby and they'll fall asleep. Ha! Mine stretches her legs, pushes around, sits up...she just doesn't relax.

Well, yes, we have a sofa plus a comfy guest room. But DH doesn't want to leave our room. I applaud his desire to stay together as a couple, a family, etc, and I know he wants to help as much as he can, even if it's only being present. I just wish I could magically make something change so we all could get better sleep. Poor guy seriously has no room where he is sleeping (on an old inflatable 2" Army mattress!) He won't sleep at the foot of the bed, and so wedges himself next to "his" old side of the bed.

As for me, no, I am not napping when she naps. I find it very hard to relax lately. Plus, I stay awake so when she wakes up too early I can RUN in and nurse her back down quickly to give her another hour or so. I usually eat while she naps, try to read a book, necessary housework, or do something to make me feel like a person again.

Originally Posted by littlebearsmama

When my 18 month old son wakes up that often in the night, something is usually bothering him...like a cold coming on, teething, or a wet diaper. Have you checked all of the usual suspects? If he doesn't want to nurse to sleep and still seems fiesty after nursing, I let him crawl around on the bed or play on the floor until he's ready to sleep. When the room is dark and the door closed, it usually only takes a few minutes before he's wanting to join me back in bed. Good luck!

I am almost positive she is getting her 5th tooth right now, the one right next to her front eye tooth. I've even broken down and given her Tylenol during the day because she's been fussy/crying, pulling at her ears much more than normal. I don't want to keep her in pain just because I had previously reserved the Tylenol for nighttime only. Poor LO.

I sometimes let her crawl around a bit like you describe. DH usually says "let me just put her in the Ergo", though, and we do, and she falls asleep fairly quickly. I wish we could do the cuddle-thing though...

Originally Posted by flagirl1

I've always nursed him to sleep in the glider and then put him down asleep and now, he will fall asleep in my arms but the slightest noise or movement will wake him so its hard to put him down. And sometimes he'll wake up for no reason in my arms and start crying and pushing away from me and arching his back and flailing his arms . . . and he won't want to nurse and then he's awake for 30-60 mins before he'll nurse to sleep. I have no idea what gives.

Exactly! Except I nurse her already in our bed because if she falls asleep nursing on my lap/Boppy I can't pick her up, move her, etc. I call her my little Land Mine, because even the s l i g h t e s t movement jerks her wide awake.

[paulamc]

DS didn't start cuddling until much later - not sure exactly but maybe 13 months or so? It usually happens in the middle of the night, not when going to sleep.

He has always nursed to sleep just fine, for the most part. But we had a hard time, first when he learned to get to a seated position on his own and then when he started crawling. He would nurse, then pop up and start moving around the mattress. He started nursing to sleep again after a couple of weeks I'd say.

He is a light sleeper as well. When he was around 5 months, we switched to a latex mattress on the floor. After that I could move around all I wanted, and he wouldn't feel a thing now whereas before, on the regular bed, every time I turned over he'd wake up. We got the mattress at Ikea so it wasn't too, too expensive. Something to consider perhaps... We do the white noise as well of course.

Hang in there! It will get better, I'm sure!

[Beauchamp]

thanks. Good to know that 5-9 mo old babies are not really in that "just relax and cuddle" window. I don't know many babies close up besides my own, so maybe my expectations are not totally realistic. Especially since I think DD is somewhat high needs anyway.

I just got her nursed down for a nap, but she woke up after 45 mins, and then I nursed her back again...with Tylenol before the first nurse to help that tooth.

As for the mattress...I am coveting one of those latex/natural mattresses. But we bought a memory foam roughly a year ago and spent some dollars on it, and I know DH would choke if I said I wanted a new one already. Our is okay as far as movement of the mattress, sort of. I try to move away from her quickly after nursing so the "dent" I made fills in and she doesn't roll into it and wake up. She hears little things like when I move the sheet or blanket though, which baffles me because our white noise is fairly loud. Ah, well. This too shall pass blahblahblah

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by littlebearsmama

Have you checked all of the usual suspects?

Would anyone mind helping me run down the list of usual suspects? I gave her Motrin last night and she STILL woke up a thousand and one times.

Just needing a little more help/support here, mamas. Last night was total hell. DD was up every 15 mins to an hour. She was flopping back and forth from her back to her side. Once when I tried to stay near her and let her stay latched on, she smacked me in the nose so hard. Then I moved a bit and she woke up crying. (again.)

I was at a breaking point and was going to just let her cry while I cuddled her. And then I just tried to let her nurse all she wanted, but she unlatched. She takes up 2/3 of a king size bed because if I move my sheets/blankets, she usually *feels* it somehow. I swear she feels the air currents changing.

I think I just need to un-sidecar her crib and just have hellish nights. I feel like such a crappy mom because I can't figure this out.

[Punchy Kaby]

You have a frustrating situation! I can relate as my 9 mo does many of the same things. In the middle of the night she would search out for my nipple and when she was done she would roll over and start crawling as if it were play time. At the same time she would not be nursed to sleep for many of her naps and bed time. Nursing rarely calms her down and there is not much snuggling going on here-she is so wiggly I can barely hold her at times.

I don't know how you feel about it, but I gave up the idea of co sleeping with my DD. She was already in her crib for naps and my presence in bed with her caused more of a disruption of her sleep. I had to learn ways to sooth her that didn't involve nursing. I'd be happy to share what has worked for us. (We are still making improvements, but things are much better.)

[Beauchamp]

Yes, please share!!! We have her side-carred right now and co-sleep part time. I love waking up near her and cuddling, but overall we all sleep better when she has her own space. I love the idea of co-sleeping, but for this baby it's not the best way to get her rest. Any ideas or tips are very welcome.

We are at Grammy's house right now and with her guest room set-up, co-sleeping is not an option...so we are trying to get DD sleeping in a pack n play. Last night she did alright, so we have our fingers crossed...

[LadyCatherine185]

mama.. 6-8 months was our worst sleeping time. We've had periods of decent sleep here and there, but he is back to sleeping like crap again. I think some babies are just bad sleepers, and are sensitive to ANYTHING going on around them when sleeping.

probably already been asked, but have you thought of reflux or allergies causing her frequent night waking?

[sarahz5]

We had our crib sidecarred too. It was hard to keep it in it starting around that age, but what sometimes worked was to nurse him IN the sidecar - just lay your whole body in there. I know she's not staying asleep with the nursing, but if you get that back to working, then you could try feeding her in there to gain some space. I have sooo been where you are - I can tell you that the wakings WILL decrease, but it might be awhile... Hugs.

[munchymum]

The only thing I can suggest is to try nursing her to sleep in a ring sling. My daughter sounds a lot like yours, and the sling basically stops her wriggling about and helps her to relax. I usually sit with her on my knee, in the sling, for up to an hour before I attempt to put her down on the bed. Usually this wakes her up, but by then she is so sleepy that I just lie down beside her and nurse her back to sleep.

As for the middle of the night waking... I think you've just got to hang in there. Everythiing passes eventually, and the next phase might be better or worse than this one. My DD is 17 months and she is now sleeping a little more deeply than she used to, though she still wakes about 3-6 times a night. Last week I got my longest ever stretch of sleep since she was born - 5.5 hours. Things are getting better, but very slowly.

[Jayray]

We are also from the June DDC! Our sleep is kind of crappy over here too, but it's been crappy since about 3.5 months. Just to tell our story, we were doing side-carred crib/cosleeping for a while--and getting 4-8 wakings per night. Then right before Christmas we moved the crib to another room. I *feel* like we had some improvement. We still end up cosleeping part time when I fall asleep nursing him and don't put him back in his crib, but when I DO put him back, he tends to sleep better. We even had a few nights of only 2 wakings, which is INCREDIBLE for my DS. However, we're back to a much crappier night I think due to crawling and whatever developmental stage this is right now.

It's also so nice to be able to go to bed with my DH and not have to worry about being so quiet, to be able to read in bed before sleeping, etc.

It doesn't hurt to try moving the crib. If it doesn't work, you can go back to cosleeping.