Open mouth, insert foot lol.. pre-pregnancy thoughts to now reality =D

[Kailey's mom]

1. There is no way my child would be in diapers at 2 years old, let alone 3 years old. Parents need to stop being lazy. If the child can talk, they can go to the bathroom, jeez.

**and now, I infact have a 3.5 y/o that is in diapers for nap and bedtime, and there are still days, where she wears diapers because, well, it's one of those days where she refuses to use the potty, and if anyone were to say something to me in public, I'd rip them a new one **

2. OMG, I can't believe that parents would put their toddler in a freeking stroller, they are old enough to walk on their own. I'd never ever do that!
*now, ha, I wish my dd would still let me wear her, and I own an umbrella stroller, actually just bought another one at the thrift store. DD will be 4 in May **
3. My child is not going to be spoiled. I can't believe parents will give in and put the baby in their bed, don't they know that is deadly and they could smother the baby. That is lazy parenting. I'm going to be a mom, not a friend for christ's sake.

**LMAO, ummm yeah, things change once you actually have a baby. We cosleep, I don't believe it's possible to spoil a baby**

ETC.......

What are yours?

[DeerMother]

I had no idea that babies woke up A LOT at night.

I also didn't want to cosleep for fear that dc would always be in my bed. Then when I had my no-sttn realization I didn't care anymore. Come on in to mama's bed!

[4Marmalade]

"If they can talk and ask to nurse they're too old to nurse"

Ummmm....I'm pretty sure ds1 was talking when he was 3 .

[CatsCradle]

Me, pre-child:

"I will never let myself go (as in unwashed hair; out of style clothes; bags under eyes). Geesh! Can't these moms get their acts together and multi-task a little?"

Me, post-child:

"Um hum. Right."

[betsyj]

Pre baby - I will never be one of those Moms that refuses to go out without the baby. And, I can't wait to be able togo out at night again and stay out till midnight.

Post baby - Of course I can't go, Jack needs me to go to sleep. Sure I can meet you for coffee/what have you but I need to have Jack home by 7:30 so we can start our bedtime routine.

I'll nurse to a year - reality is still nursing at 20 mos.

The baby has a beautiful Amish made crib - he has slept next to me since the day he was born.

[laohaire]

I don't think I fully grasped the concept that children have their own personalities no matter what. I mean, sure, our parenting affects them, but they are who they are. My first lesson in that was right when DD was born, when I saw her I was blown away that she was already a full human being of her own. I figured a newborn was kind of a blank slate, yet to form their "person-ness." Of course they DO form and mature and such over the years, but ... I dunno if I'm saying this right, maybe someone knows what I mean.

So now, whereas I might have looked at a kid and said "oh, he's shy, his parents must be overprotective" I now understand that some kids are shy, period. That sort of thing.

[GuildJenn]

"Babies belong in their own rooms after 6 months."

My son is 4.5 and we cosleep most nights.

[carfreemama]

My child is going to understand the word No. I am not going to be one of those parents who is afraid to say that word. The child wants a clear answer from you, for heaven's sake, not a debate!

Dd is now almost 6 years old and, well she 'understands' the word No perfectly well. And I am not 'afraid' to use it. I'm pretty sure she wants to debate me 24/7.

[MaxMommy]

*I bought in to the "don't let you baby sleep with you...you'll never get him out of your bed"
That lasted till ds was 1 month old and I was tired of spending every night in the rocking chair with a constant nurser. Ds is 6 now, we have another on the way and we happily co-sleep, not looking to change till ds wants his own bed.

*"I'll nurse for a year" Ds self weaned at 4.

*"spanking has a place" The minute ds was conceived that changed, we have never spanked.

*"Parents need to control thier children" What a joke! To think that I never realized that each child is an individual, with thoughts and feelings unique to themselves and that we as parents are responsible for guiding them through childhood, not controlling them.

That's just a few....my child has taught me a lot!

[AutumnAir]

Originally Posted by laohaire

I don't think I fully grasped the concept that children have their own personalities no matter what. I mean, sure, our parenting affects them, but they are who they are. My first lesson in that was right when DD was born, when I saw her I was blown away that she was already a full human being of her own. I figured a newborn was kind of a blank slate, yet to form their "person-ness." Of course they DO form and mature and such over the years, but ... I dunno if I'm saying this right, maybe someone knows what I mean.

So now, whereas I might have looked at a kid and said "oh, he's shy, his parents must be overprotective" I now understand that some kids are shy, period. That sort of thing.

I actually do know what you mean. I thought *I* (and DH) would have far more input into the kind of baby/toddler/kid/person that DD would be than in fact we do. She is who she is - we can't change that, all we can do is respect her and support her for who she is.

I was sure I'd go back to work after the 6 months' maternity leave. I *loved* my job, and didn't think it would be a big deal to drop DD off at some daycare in the morning, pump milk a couple of times during the day, and pick her up in the evening, play with her for a couple of hours then put her to bed.

- Yeah, right!!! DD is 25 months now and I'm still a SAHM and planning to be with this next one too if all works out (though I'll likely be doing some PT WAH too). Turns out I can't let down for a pump AT ALL and could never get the hang of hand expression. There was also no way in Hades DD would have been content to go to a DC for 10 hours a day - she was the world's neediest baby. Okay, probably a slight exaggeration, but I literally couldn't leave her with anyone, not even her dad until a few months ago. She would literally cry, scream and sob hysterically if I left (even if I just left the room) until the person looking after her would have to call me - practically in hysterics themselves - to tell me I needed to come back NOW!! No way I would have put her through that just so I could get back to my job.

I still miss my job, but I'm happier to be at home with my LO when she needs me.

I also thought you needed to be strict with babies and set boundaries right away, otherwise they would be totally spoiled and you would end up being their slave.

- Haha; DD nursed about 20 hours out of every 24 for the first few months, she had to sleep *on* me, and I couldn't put her down or leave her for the longest time. I just couldn't deny her; it was obviously a *huge* need for her, and while it did mean that I was utterly exhausted and ill that just paled in comparison to her needs.

[monkey-lamb]

Though I was pro-breastfeeding before I ever got pregnant, like a PP, I said if a child can ask for milk he/she is too old to nurse. My 16 month DD is still nursing and we have no plans to stop anytime soon. I decided to extend our breastfeeding past a year immediately after she was born. That being said, she was able to "ask" for milk well before turning a year old by signing for it or sticking her hand down my shirt.

Even if I wasn't planning for extended breastfeeding, I now know that the ability to ask for milk is a ridiculous way to determine when to stop nursing. I would have had to stop nursing her at 8 or 9 months.

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by laohaire

I don't think I fully grasped the concept that children have their own personalities no matter what. I mean, sure, our parenting affects them, but they are who they are. My first lesson in that was right when DD was born, when I saw her I was blown away that she was already a full human being of her own. I figured a newborn was kind of a blank slate, yet to form their "person-ness." Of course they DO form and mature and such over the years, but ... I dunno if I'm saying this right, maybe someone knows what I mean.

So now, whereas I might have looked at a kid and said "oh, he's shy, his parents must be overprotective" I now understand that some kids are shy, period. That sort of thing.

YES! I was *shocked* that my newborn DD had a personality already. You always hear people say "look at that 9month old, finally developing a personality..." or "it'll be more fun once she develops a personality", but she totally had a personality from the get-go. I remember just staring at her in wonder of that fact. Yeah, she wasn't able to *do* a lot, but she *totally* had a personality.

I definitely was shocked when someone told me that their daughter weaned at 3. I remember thinking "that *won't* be me!" which... it wasn't, but I was open to that idea post kids, and it totally doesn't weird me out anymore. I nursed my DD to 2.5, and Ds weaned himself right before he turned 2, much to my shock! And I TANDEM nursed... I don't think that was even on my radar as a possibility pre-kids, but it definitely would have freaked me out.

Pre kids, I remember thinking "anyone who doesn't vaccinate their kids are uninformed and selfish. But here I am, no longer vaccinating my kids...

My aunt had two home births when I was a teenager... and I thought she was CRAAAAAAZY. And here I am planning my second homebirth and don't see the hospital as an option except in case of emergency...

I'm sure there's more. Like, a lot more...

[rightkindofme]

The funny thing is, pre-kid I assumed that everything would be horrid. I thought the first few months, maybe up to a year would be a nightmare. I thought I wouldn't sleep. I thought I would go nuts from this little person touching me all the time.

I had it so easy. Yeah, she needed a lot of body contact but I loved it. She was an easy sleeper. We never had a problem nursing. Because I wanted nearly 24 hour a day contact and I didn't want to go anywhere without her we had no problems. Now, if I had wanted to put her down we would have had a problem...

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by Kailey's mom

1. There is no way my child would be in diapers at 2 years old, let alone 3 years old. Parents need to stop being lazy. If the child can talk, they can go to the bathroom, jeez.

ARGH! Boy did the above turn around and bite me in the butt! DS was 3.5 yo before he used the potty full time.

Originally Posted by rightkindofme

The funny thing is, pre-kid I assumed that everything would be horrid. I thought the first few months, maybe up to a year would be a nightmare. I thought I wouldn't sleep. I thought I would go nuts from this little person touching me all the time.

Me too. My expectations were so incredibly low that the reality seemed like a dream. The first year truly was dream like, it was wonderful.

As for other pre-pregnancy thoughts? Let me just say how totally embarassed I am about some of the stuff that came out of my mouth. The short list:

I thought co-sleeping parents had serious mental problems. DS is still in our bed at nearly 4.5 years old.

I would try to bf for 3 months. After we got in the groove, there is no way I would ever have quit.

DS would stay with his Nana so we could do couple's weekends that first year. HA! There is no way in h@ll either of us would have parted with him overnight. We left him with my mom just shy of his 2nd b-day.

[ledzepplon]

I thought dh's boss and his wife were nuts for letting their kids sleep in their beds. Well, it's been almost six years since we've had a "grown-ups only" bed at our house.

I also was in the camp that there was so much more nurture than nature in a child's personality/behavior. Now I see that they are born just how they are, and surely a parent can bring out the worst or best in their child, but we just don't have a say in "who" they are.

It never occurred to me that people nursed passed a year and a half or so. I wasn't against extended nursing, it just never crossed my mind that older toddlers still nursed. Now I know better--and I don't mind being the strange one who's "still nursing!"

Before I had kids I never pictured myself with a larger family. I'm pregnany with #4 now, and while I didn't really have a specific number in mind, I just had no idea how much joy being a mother to my children could bring me, and how amazing baby humans are.

[AFWife]

When I heard a child/baby making noise for "no reason" (tired noises I now realize) my reaction was always to mumble, "Seriously? Do something. My child will NEVER do that."

Fast forward to grocery shopping with DS in the Ergo with him making the exact same noises...and DH and I giggling about how cute he sounded the whole time.

[griffin2004]

"Can't you make that child behave and be quiet????!!!!????"

that one has bitten me back a few times over the years

[Red Pajama]

"14 months is a really long time to nurse."

We're going strong at 27 months.

[Kailey's mom]

These are great

Ok, I have another one. My baby was not going to be one of "those" babies who were unsocial and cry when being held by somebody else. I was going to have a happy and socialized baby that would not be shy.

LMAO!!! that one really bit me in the butt since my child was and is high needs, and was scared of everyone but immidiate family. I too thought that babies did not have their own personalities, I thought their personalities were a direct reflection of how their parents raised them. LMAO, wow, was I so wrong!

[Bena]

I was self-rightously crunchy before I had kids...I really thought I'd be wearing my babies everywhere and all the time, and was really offended when someone gave me one of those (in my mind) awful and ugly plastic baby chairs. Well you know what? I wear her alot, but she gets heavy, and I can't do as much as I thought I could with her, and....she loves sitting in that chair and watch me work around the kitchen!!!

BUT...I still think the chair is ugly!