Originally Posted by Momily  I sometimes think of myself as the "Pearl" of the gentle discipline world. I don't hit, I don't yell, but I do intervene early, swiftly, and decisively with my child, and he knows it when he does something I don't like.
I believe that growing up in a household where people hurt people they love is confusing and scary and overwhelming to children, regardless of whether they're the ones hurting or being hurt. While I understand people's concerns about time out, and isolating a child, I have bigger concerns about the message it sends a child when they are able to repeatedly hurt people they love.
My guess is that something is "reinforcing" your child. Another way to put it is that something is happening after she pinches that she leads to her doing it again. Based on your description, I'm going to guess that it's the processing, and the attention she gets afterward, the part you describe as "your heart melts". From your description, I'm imagining a situation where she's upset about something, often your lack of attention, and so she pinches, she gets about 30 seconds or a minute of something unpleasant (being led to her room, or you leaving her room) and then a much longer period where your attention is fully on her, and off whatever was bothering her in the first place.
My other guess is that at 27 months she is old enough to have some impulse control (not perfect impulse control, that takes a life time, but the fact that a child is not good at something yet isn't a reason to not teach the skill, if we waited until people were good at things before we taught the how to do them they'd never learn anything), and that she already knows that pinching hurts, that you don't like it, and that you'd rather have her use her words.
Given that, here's what I'd do (and I'm putting on my flame proof suit here, because I know people will say I'm cruel and heartless). If she hits or pinches or whatever, I'd say one strong "NO" (not yelling, but a quiet firm tone, no added words, just "No") and then I'd separate myself from her for a moment. In my house it worked better to carry my child (facing away from me, so he wasn't all snuggled up with me) or lead him to the sofa, and leave him there and then walked away. When she followed and apologized I would simply say "Thank you, I need you to play by yourself". If she continued to follow me, I'd ignore her. If she pinched or bit me again, I'd repeat "No" and carry her to her spot, and then go on about my day. Once she finally engaged in something independently, I'd let her play for a while and then find an opportunity to include her in what I'm doing, but it would be light -- no dramatic forgiveness, just "I'm going to the mailbox, would you like to come" or "if you'd like to help me sort these socks you may", and then go about your day, including her as you normally would.
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read her articles online b/c those are free. you will find what you need, but it takes a lot of adjustment on your part. GL!
