Do you think 8 months is too young to nightwean?

[flagirl1]

Let me start off by saying that I am an avid breast feeder. I love it (or use to love it), I love the benefits to my DS and I promote it to just about anyone that will listen. However, my DS is 8 months and not sleeping well - last night he woke up every 2.5 - 3 hours. And each time its so hard to get him to go back to sleep, which can take anywhere from 15-45 mins . . . or longer. He used to always want to nurse to go back to sleep (bc I nurse him to sleep to begin with), but I work full time as a lawyer AND I teach an undergraduate class at a local college (believe me, I wish I didn't have to work and I shouldn't have agreed to teach the class but I am stuck). I pump my brains out during the day to provide him w/ breast milk in bottles while I am working. I nurse in the morning and in the evenings, and nurse him to sleep. Lately, I've been so exhausted that its affecting my ability to work so my DH will get up and do just about whatever he needs to get him to go back to sleep w/out him CIO, like bouncing him in the bouncer chair or giving him a bottle of <gasp> formula. I feel really guilty about not getting up for DS, but inevitably (not every night but some nights), my DH brings him to me at some point to nurse to sleep bc DH just can't get DS to sleep. And some nights I get up and nurse so I know we're not consistent which is part of the problem.

Would it be wrong of me to just stop nursing at night? And instead have my husband get up w/ him every night and give him a bottle if he needs help falling alseep (not bc he's hungry but bc he has a suck to sleep association)? Do you think this will help his night wakings if DS knows I won't be letting him nurse back to sleep? I'm starting to resent having to get up to nurse for so long just to get him back to sleep . . . But I am torn because I feel so sad taht I'm not with him all day long while responding to his needs at night makes me feel better about the day time separation and gives me that one on one time that I need and think he needs.

I realize too this is a tough age - he just started crawling and sitting up into a seated position on his own a few weeks ago and seems to do it in his sleep . . . He's now sleeping on his sides and on his stomach w/ his butt in the air (when before he was purely a back sleeper). Is now not a good time bc of developmental changes?

I am just so very tired all. the. time.

[jeliphish]

You need to do what makes you healthy and happy because that in return will make baby healthy and happy. I would suggest starting a small freezer stash. I pump full time at work too and nurse in the evenings and night. You are right on target about it being stressful and depleating at times, which will directly affect your milk supply.

Can you fit in several mini pumping sessions (like 2-3 oz) starting today or tomorrow to build up your stash? That way your DH can use that in the middle of the night AND it will also make pumping easier the next day...for me when DD nurses a lot at night I have a difficult time making her milk for the next day because it depleats me.

Get your sleep and if your DH is willing to be the nighttime parent and feed him your BM at night, i think that would make everyone happier. I think nightweaning depends on the child- With DD1 I was not able to even think of night weaning until at least 15 months, with DD2 she would be fine with a paci all night (except during a growth spurt).

[Lunaria]

bedsharing?

I was just wondering if you've considered bringing him into bed with you and dh? I didn't do that with my first and the exhaustion from constantly getting up at night was unbelievable. I was a zombie. With my other two I ditched the cribs and brought them to bed with me. I barely wake up when they nurse and they go back to sleep without any help. Also, since you're working, it's the night feedings that will really keep your milk supply up. Just a thought. When it comes down to it though, no one knows your family better than you do.

Jenny

[almadianna]

Personally yes I do think it is too early, especially because during these months they need you to most due to all of the developmental spurts that they are having/teething/etc. It is hard mama but it does end.

[mysticmomma]

Yes. Too young. They still need not just the connection and stability, but the nutrition at night at this age.

[LadyCatherine185]

Feeling sleep deprived is no fun. However, I would kill for a night of only waking every 2.5-3 hours. At 17 months he wakes every 1-2 hours, and at 8 months my DS was waking every 15-30 minutes, it is a tough age. Your DS's waking is very normal for that age. I don't think you should nightwean, for a few reasons--

*you work during the day, nursing at night is a way for you to reconnect with your DS
*if you stop nursing at night, especially abruptly, you will compromise your supply
*your DS still needs the extra calories at night

Here are some other possible solutions--

*Having your DH take over part of the night. Even if that means giving a bottle, etc but make sure to pump extra during the day to make up for that lost feeding and keep your supply
*bedsharing, and learning to nurse laying down all night, or for your part of the night (or sidecar his crib to your bed, so that he is still sleeping in his own space, but he is right there and you don't have to fully wake up) (this will help minimize his and your waking time, if all you have to do is roll over and insert boob)
*read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, lots of good info and tips to help baby sleep better
*blackout curtains and white noise

Good luck Mama! I hope you find some ways to feel more rested soon.

[RheaSilva]

It is absolutely not to early for you to nightwean your little sweetie. Remember that co-sleeping is meant to be a wonderful, strengthening, bonding experience for you and DH and Little One.

Believe me, he can sense when you're tense and exhausted and your mood will rub off on him. Better that you put him in his own sleeping place so he can have the happy, well-rested mommy that he deserves

[Maluhia]

Yep, too young and a really really hard age to introduce stressful changes to a child.
How about cosleeping?

[flagirl1]

thank you all so much for your replies! i really needed to hear other people's thoughts and support. thank you for reminding me that he is going through a lot these days and I should be there for him. I do like the idea of splitting the night w/ DH so I know, for example, I'll get up w/ him until 3am and DH does anything after . . .

I WISH DS would co-sleep and when he wakes at 4am or after, I usually bring him into bed and nurse laying down, but he moves so much and I'm a light sleeper and wakes up so much more when he's next to me than when he's in the crib. I tried for the first 6 weeks and then every so often after then and it just doesn't work for us. I wish he would want to cuddle w/ me all night long, . . . we might sidecar the crib though, I wonder if that would work for us. . . .

I have read the No Cry Sleep Solution and I don't know if I did the pull-off method wrong or not, but it didn't really work - DS just got more and more agitated and wouldn't fall asleep off the boob. Maybe its time to revisit the book and see if any other suggestions help.

Thanks again!

[rzberrymom]

Originally Posted by flagirl1

I don't know if I did the pull-off method wrong or not, but it didn't really work - DS just got more and more agitated and wouldn't fall asleep off the boob.

It doesn't work for many many babies--it's normal to still need to suck to sleep at that age, but it will change as he gets older. Hang in there mama! Eight months is a killer!

[voxana]

we might sidecar the crib though, I wonder if that would work for us. . .

Yes, do try this. It really works well for a lot of people, including me.