Weird question for this board... - Page 3

[claddaghmom]

I think the low breastfeeding rates correlate with the trauma and interventions of birth.

First, on a personal level, this over management of birth sends a strong message to the woman. Mama, your body does not work. We will deliver your child. We will save your child [from your broken body].

So why would the woman expect her breasts to work?

Second, the trauma from birth can definitely negatively impact the breastfeeding relationship. This is why I was not breastfed. My mom did not hold me for the first time for days. No one told her she could pump while waiting for me. No one recommended SNS. I was taken away and given formula. They never even asked her.

The c-section rate is soaring. Premature birth is soaring. Birth rape, birth trauma, these are growing topics online with hundreds of women sharing their stories. What is the subversive impact on breastfeeding? Probably huge.

And then, toss in neonatal birth trauma. We now know that infants can feel pain acutely, yet premature and NICU infants are subjected to dozens of painful, invasive tests daily. Circumcision remains at roughly 50% in our country and that has a huge impact on breastfeeding.

Then, those mamas who did miraculously survive everything above, typically have 6 weeks to nurse before returning to work full time. That's not even 2 months of nursing. As one coworker told me: "I don't want to break my heart. I'm not going to even try."



We are really messed up.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by claddaghmom

I think the low breastfeeding rates correlate with the trauma and interventions of birth.

.

I couldn't agree more! I think we, as a society, are still turning a blind eye to the horrors of the modern, "normal" birth in this country. Setting aside medical interventions to mom, think of how the average newborn gets treated just after it's born! My mw said she considers it assult. That was one of my favorite things about homebirth was the gentle handling of the baby like it was an actual person! I think that can highly impact baby's willingness and ability to nurse.

As for moms who don't want to nurse...I don't agree with it, I don't like it, I don't understand it, but I don't get angry...

One of my closest friends ff her first two and each have severe constipation problems when her third was born she started to nurse but was giving bottles also by a few days. Then babe was switched to formula only after a week or so. I just didn't understand why she wouldn't want to avoid the same bowel problems because she "didn't feel like" nursing.

I also just recently met a woman who simply said that she just couldn't see herself breastfeeding. I can't argue that with her. Not my choice but I don't look down on her for it.

[new2this]

Breastfeeding is suppose to be natural but for some it doesn't come natural or feel natural to them. The pressure that is put on people to do one thing or another is intense. Some woman may not be interested in having kids so struggling with that adds a huge amount of pressure on them. I view most all parents (outside of straight up abuse/neglect) and think they are doing what is best for them and their family.

While we all know breastmilk is best for the baby there are countless reasons why someone formula feeds. Some of them could be viewed as selfishness but the reality of it is FF won't hurt the child, it isn't neglect nor abuse. And if the mom is truly unneasy about it but is happier with FF then her child will be happier to. Because we all know kids pick up on our emotions.

I already knew I was going to breastfeed it really wasn't a choice in my mind per se but I also know that I am going to introduce a bottle as soon as I can for numerous reason. I shouldn't have to worry about being judged by people but sadly our world is a my way is right mentality and your way is wrong. I really just don't understand where we have stopped being understanding and more quick to judge.

[Vespertina]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

I think the OP's sadness is directed towards mothers who don't try, or have any intention of trying. At least, that is what I got from the post. I know many people IRL and from this board who couldn't nurse for various reasons, and I have no judgement of them at all. But I also know people IRL who never even wanted to try, and yes, that does make me sad.

This. That's how I understood the OP. A few years ago I held very strong views regarding breastfeeding. I still do, but overtime I've grown apathetic about others' reasons for not breastfeeding at all -- choosing not to from the start.

I've dealt with my share of problems. I'm thankful I had my mom's support after having DD1. I had the typical case of bad latch that resolved after the first week. With DD2, it was much more of a challenge. I dealt with persistent thrush for 10 weeks and that led to even worse PPD.

I expected things to go smoothly from the start this time. Not so. DS had a bad latch due to his tongue tie. I *thought* it was just us trying to work out the kinks -- latch problems. He lost more than 10% of his birth weight and continued to lose weight. I had never had a baby with jaundice. It seemed to take forever for it to clear, all because he wasn't getting much from me and my supply took a hit. I EP and supplemented with formula until he got his TT clipped at 11 days old. I immediately put him back to the breast with the hopes things would get better. I still couldn't see a difference in his size after a week. I ordered a baby scale to monitor his weight. I just knew the moment I put him on the scale it was going to show he lost weight. He did. He was 4 ounces down from where he was two weeks prior. He was declared FTT. Wasn't anywhere near his birth weight at 3 weeks. I felt horrible and defeated. I went back to EPing with a hospital grade pump and took herbs to help build my supply.

When I started out pumping I liked it because it allowed me to see how much he was getting. It was good knowing I was making/giving him enough. He gained 3 lbs in three weeks! It felt good to know he was picking up weight. But it also became taxing with two young kids and an infant that usually wanted to eat when I had to pump. I hated getting up at 2, 3, 4am to pump. I hated staying up 'til 11-12pm so I could pump (pumped every 3-4 hours). I kept at it because I liked the reward, seeing him thrive and chunk up.

We discovered he had a posterior TT when I saw the LC I rented the pump from. The only ENT practice in my area that clips them doesn't take my insurance. It was going to cost $934 for the procedure. That's a whole heck of a lot. I continued to pump until we figured out the next step. I had considered not reintroducing the breast. I figured that since my supply was up and I was getting accustomed to pumping I could just stick with it. I convinced myself it was the only way I'd know he's getting what he needs. I was scared and anxious at the thought of returning him to the breast. Scared that for some reason it wouldn't work out and he'd end up falling behind again. I had even allowed myself to be 'okay' with formula should I have problems keeping my supply up. At the time I didn't have a problem supplementing with formula because I wasn't producing enough, but deep down I didn't like it. I felt uncomfortable buying bottles and formula. I even thought to myself out in public whether anyone was wondering if his bottle of bm was formula. It doesn't really look like it to me. In my head I was saying, "I'm not one of them." (formula feeder) It's sort of like an us vs. them deal.

Thankfully, we were able to get DS seen by one of the ENTs. The LC I've been using talked to the doc and told him about our situation and agreed to do it at a very, very discounted price. He returned to the breast as of Wednesday and I'm still wondering if everything is okay. Hoping he's gaining weight appropriately. Monitoring his diaper output like crazy, asking myself how wet is wet. I dread putting him on the scale. Things I didn't have to worry about with my others.

[Xavismom]

Originally Posted by claddaghmom

I think the low breastfeeding rates correlate with the trauma and interventions of birth.

First, on a personal level, this over management of birth sends a strong message to the woman. Mama, your body does not work. We will deliver your child. We will save your child [from your broken body].

So why would the woman expect her breasts to work?

Second, the trauma from birth can definitely negatively impact the breastfeeding relationship. This is why I was not breastfed. My mom did not hold me for the first time for days. No one told her she could pump while waiting for me. No one recommended SNS. I was taken away and given formula. They never even asked her.

The c-section rate is soaring. Premature birth is soaring. Birth rape, birth trauma, these are growing topics online with hundreds of women sharing their stories. What is the subversive impact on breastfeeding? Probably huge.

And then, toss in neonatal birth trauma. We now know that infants can feel pain acutely, yet premature and NICU infants are subjected to dozens of painful, invasive tests daily. Circumcision remains at roughly 50% in our country and that has a huge impact on breastfeeding.

Then, those mamas who did miraculously survive everything above, typically have 6 weeks to nurse before returning to work full time. That's not even 2 months of nursing. As one coworker told me: "I don't want to break my heart. I'm not going to even try."



We are really messed up.

This made tears come to my eyes I so agree with your entire post. The birth of my DS has really made me aware of the birthing situation in our country, and I feel very passionate about it.

I dont get angry or judge FF Mamas, you never know their situation. It could be some issue from the birth, like this, or missinformation, etc.

The only time I get angry is when FF Mamas prop the bottle for the baby instead of holding the baby close during feeding. For some reason this just makes me see red. Its makes me feel so sad for the little baby that doesnt get Mamas warmth and closeness while feeding.

[Mulvah]

I have only touched on the struggles I've had with breastfeeding and if I were not 100% committed to making it work, I would have stopped.  You (general) really do not know the person's entire situation most of the time.

Originally Posted by ein328

...In my view, a lot of things are "a pain." It's a pain to take my daughter out of her sling and put her in the carseat to drive a block when I'm out shopping. But I do it to protect my daughter. Would you consider driving your child around town, without putting him/her in a carseat? You're conscientiously taking a risk. The same goes with choosing to formula feed. The benefits of breastfeeding are well-documented. Choosing not to BF is choosing to put your child at a higher risk. (Again, I'm talking here about CHOOSING, not being unable to.)....

With all due respect, car seat safety and breastfeeding vs. formula is apples to oranges. I think comparisons like this are a very slippery slope.

Edited by Mulvah - 10/16/11 at 11:09am