Book recommendations for gifted and intense/emotionally sensitive

[momofmine]

I know I have seen threads like this but just can't seem to find them by searching. Can anyone recommend two or three of the best books that are more like how to parent your gifted child who is intense/sensitive/explosive/etc? Thanks!

[momofmine]

has anyone read this one?

http://www.amazon.com/Living-Intensi...ref=pd_sim_b_1

[momofmine]

Wow, so I was just reading in this book

http://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-D...5873731&sr=1-2

about overexcitabilities and this describes my child completely, in all of them. I am thinking about getting this book, but does anyone know if it also goes on to give you tools for managing?

[momofmine]

okay, so it's the middle of the night and I'm still up, so I am going to keep posting here because I am really finding some great stuff here. The misdiagnosis/dual diagnosis book by James Webb is really clicking for me, so many things fit, it is amazing! I am just reading the first chapter on Google books though, and what I want to know is, does this book also go into, "Now here are some tips for dealing with these characteristics and living your life to its fullest potential"? From looking at the table of contents, it doesn't really seem like it does. It seems to do more of just describing it all, does anyone know? I am thinking about buying it but it's almost $20 and I just want to be sure I am getting a helpful tool.

[Geist]

Wow, so I was just reading in this book

http://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-D...5873731&sr=1-2

about overexcitabilities and this describes my child completely, in all of them. I am thinking about getting this book, but does anyone know if it also goes on to give you tools for managing?

This book's description reminds me of my husband. He has an extremely high IQ and has, among other things, been accused of having ADHD, Asperger's, dyslexia, OCD, depression, and tons of other disorders. Fortunately, it's not true. He just operates on a different level since he's two to three standard deviations more intelligent.

[LynnS6]

I found The Highly Sensitive Child to be very helpful. It's not about gifted kids per se, but it definite resonated with me about sensitivities.

[ChristaN]

I've read everything mentioned here .

I, too, really liked the Highly Sensitive Person both for myself and for my dds. I found it more helpful in dealing with crying, hurt feelings type of behavior than explosive behavior though. When dd#1 was young, I liked Raising Your Spirited Child for the more explosive stuff.

Living with Intensity is better than Raising Your Spirited Child IMO when you are looking at kids who are beyond preschool age. James Webb's book (the misdiagnosis one) was very helpful to me in understanding dd#1's sensory issues.

[momofmine]

Yes, I guess it's not really explosive behavior, it's really more like just really intense, sensitive, acutely aware of so much, etc. Not explosive in terms of being aggressive though. But reading that first chapter in the Misdiagnosis/Dual Diagnosis book, by Webb, was amazing, like every sentence fits. So would you say that book is better for understanding? Does it then have information that would help you then know what to do?

Would Living with Intensity be the better choice for older children and for something that would give you the tools one might need?

Thanks!

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by momofmine

Yes, I guess it's not really explosive behavior, it's really more like just really intense, sensitive, acutely aware of so much, etc. Not explosive in terms of being aggressive though.

Right, here too. My dd wasn't an out of control aggressive child, but she was overwhelming intense and probably still is quite intense, but she's also 11 so she is better able to handle it without melting down and me needing to help her handle it so much.

But reading that first chapter in the Misdiagnosis/Dual Diagnosis book, by Webb, was amazing, like every sentence fits. So would you say that book is better for understanding? Does it then have information that would help you then know what to do?

Not so much so in terms of giving you strategies to deal. I found it to be more helpful in terms of understanding why your child may appear to having something "wrong" with her and how the symptoms of giftedness look an awful lot like other diagnoses in certain instances. I didn't find so much a litany of coping techniques for how to deal with those symptoms. It was more affirmation than strategies for coping if that makes sense.

Would Living with Intensity be the better choice for older children and for something that would give you the tools one might need?

Yes, I'd agree with that. It is more of a toolbox than is the misdiagnosis book.

[momofmine]

Thank you, I might get those two then. I'm also looking forward to exploring the link in your sig!

[joensally]

IME, there is no one (or three) book(s) that is going to unlock the secret of a kid. For me, it was a cumulative understanding. I have read extensively (but that's a process issue for me in all things of interest). I have to say I have learned an IMMENSE amount on this board. I am entirely confident that we would not be where we are now without the wisdom of the parents here.

IMO, the Living with Intensity book is largely theoretical. Looking in my copy I see 4 potential chapters - 3, 5 8 and 9 - that offer more practical content.

I think the Webb book is a must-have in a parent's library if they're dealing with a gifted kid who's a little (or a lot) different.

I think The Spirited Child is a good place to start as she really breaks the information down into understandable sections. I also like her inventory/rating scale. I've heard Kurcinka speak and she's great. In fact, her book Kids, Parents and Power Struggles is a great read. It helps you to really look at what a child is trying to communicate, and I found it more "instructive" than Kohn or Neufeld.

IMO, you don't have to limit to looking at gifted literature - the intensity and sensitivity may be caused by giftedness, or co-occuring. If you accept and understand it as an essential part of who your child is, parenting books outside of gifted specialization have a lot to offer.

The other avenue is books dealing with sensory processing disorder. There is a gold mine of information in SPD about helping kids recenter and reorganize their systems when they're overwhelmed by stimuli (environment, emotion, internal etc.).

ETA: SENG gifted site has a lot of great articles.

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by joensally

I think the Webb book is a must-have in a parent's library if they're dealing with a gifted kid who's a little (or a lot) different.

I do think that it is a good book, but I found it theoretical more than practical dealing advice - lol! I would still take a look at it, though, b/c it is a good book.

ETA: SENG gifted site has a lot of great articles.

Yes. Their website is definitely worth exploring -- and free .

[joensally]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

I do think that it is a good book, but I found it theoretical more than practical dealing advice - lol! I would still take a look at it, though, b/c it is a good book.

Oh, absolutely! My appreciation for it centres around its great overview (with depth) of the various issues that are seen at higher incidence than typical in gifted individuals.

[Marimami]

I'm going through all this here too. I just finished Living with Intensity and I was disappointed. I was hoping for some more practical guidance. I feel like I've done nothing but nod along emphatically to all the theory in these books. I am on board. Sign me up. Help me figure out how to help her. But, I still feel like they're all falling short with the practical solutions.

I've now started to interview therapists. That's another thread, though. sigh.

Holli

[Wolfcat]

I'm currently reading this one, and it is nail-on-the-head with DS. It discusses those kids that, "gifted" or not, are just plain bright, challenging and on-the-go (but NOT ADD).

I appreciate her approach in this book because it doesn't do one of those "follow my direction and your life will be perfect" things.

She talks about the difficulties, the variations. She shows things that have worked for different families and different ages. She EXPLAINS what is going on rather then just prescribing a behavior formula.

Ok, I'm done promoting...

[meemee]

OP i would say read as much as you can. as pp said - there is no one book for your child.

i have read extensively and i have discovered there is a helpful kernel in almost every book i have laid my hands on.

and yet my dd's personality is so different - she so beats to a different tune - that ultimately none of the info 'helped' me with anything. instead actually my friends were much more helpful with practical guidance who have grown with my dd and helped me understand certain things based on her personality. the books were sometimes a key. but they were v. helpful to me. because they always made me feel i was learning, which i was. but they werent solving anything at home. if you kwim.