How do you do "family bonding"?

[Thalia]

Please help me with my homework!! I'm taking a workshop with a friend and mentor on "Shaping the Heart of Your Family", kind of like life-coaching for moms, and our most recent assignment is to ask some other parents about how they do family bonding time.

She had some examples. In their family, Thursday nights were always set aside for just the family. To make dinner feel extra special, they had some special plates they'd use just for that night, and would try to have "special" food that was guaranteed to be a hit with everyone. Sometimes this meant ordering out. Thursdays was the only night that they would sing their dinner prayer instead of just reciting it. They unplugged the phone and just concentrated on having family time.

Another example was that they set up a tradition of always having a picnic on the first day of spring, no matter what the weather.

Since I mentioned that MDC is a big source of inspiration for me, she encouraged me to ask here as well as asking my IRL friends.

So, what does your family do for bonding? What kinds of things do you do together to strengthen your ties as a family?

[staceychev]

"Family activity" has been part of our nightly ritual since DD was about 3. After dinner dishes are cleared, we sit together and so some sort of activity as a family. Usually, it's a puzzle or board game or Legos, but occasionally it's been drawing or making music as well. On rare occasions, we'll watch a TV show together (like when Charlie Brown Christmas was on). Depending on how quickly we get dinner together, family activity may be anywhere from 15 minutes to almost an hour.

We also try to get out as a family somewhat regularly to go to parks or to our local nature preserve for hiking. That's not a regularly scheduled thing, though, and unfortunately we don't do this as much as we'd like.

[waterproofmascara]

For our every day bonding, we eat dinner as a family every single night with no exceptions. No electronics allowed; just conversation at the dinner table.

These take a little more effort and planning:

1. We always take a family trip to the beach for New Year's Eve/Day.

2. We do girl bonding. My mother and I take my dd's on a vacation every summer with just the girls.

3. On a regular basis, we all pile on the couch and eat popcorn and m&m's while watching Survivor on Thursday nights.

4. We eat Sunday lunch at my grandmother's house 2 Sunday's a month.

5. We have "Spectacular Scrabble Saturday" tournaments too. We partner up and play Scrabble until we just can't stand it anymore.

Hope this helps, and I am looking forward to seeing what others do too!!

[ollyoxenfree]

We do some of these things less often now that the kids are teens - some activities like family read-alouds have been replaced with newspaper/current affair discussions or Youtube viewing, but I hope you get the general idea:

-dinner - including prep and clean-up (washing and drying dishes by hand is excellent for a little extra time together)

-family read-alouds and family book club - we read out loud together or read the same books separately and then discuss.

-current affairs discussions - pick a topic and discuss/debate

-family game night - playing board games and card games together

-t.v. viewing - DH and DD are huge fans of Top Gear, a British show about cars. Who would think? But it's great to watch them bond over it - despite the arguments about which is better, the Aston Martin or some other luxury vehicle

-DH and I both volunteer to help with the kids' activities - I tend to spend more time at school and he spends time at their sports activities (soccer, hockey) as a coach, and we all show up for events, performances (the kids are in a couple of musical and theatre groups) and games and often have a little celebration after

-special events and performances and festivals - we try to pick different things that appeal to us all - last month we saw the musical Rent, this month we're going to a one-man show with an actor the kids like, every summer we attend an outdoor Shakespeare performance in the city park...

-the cottage - we have a lakeside property about 3 hours from our home, and it's nice to get away for a weekend or longer, if we can manage it. No cable or satellite t.v., no telephones except our cell phones, often no neighbours - no distractions. We have campfires and marshmallow roasts, hike, swim in summer, skate in winter, fish, canoe....it's wonderful. We've gone camping a few times for a similar experience in new places

-family travel - this is one is significant, since we are all together without any distractions from daily demands - jobs, school, other people - similar to the cottage, however we are also enjoying new experiences, new food, learning some interesting history and geography and political systems etc.

[Marsupialmom]

We play Wii together. We love to challenge each other to games.

My husband is a chef so he cooks a lot with our kids, my kids ask me not to. I am not that bad but he is better

Now the kids are older we have "book" discussions. Reading aloud and to each other can be nice.

[Kidzaplenty]

[LynnS6]

We eat dinner together as a family every night. I can count on one hand the number of times where one of us has been absent from dinner.

We've instituted a monthly family game night, at ds' request.

Every night before bed we read the kids stories, say prayers and then each person says what they're thankful for from that day.

On your birthday, you get to choose the menu, we make a cake and have a nice dinner.

On the kids' birthdays, I tell them the story of their birth.

We take a family vacation together - even if it's not very far away. This year we're going camping in the mountains (we're going to rent a yurt). That time together and away from electronics and competing demands really helps.

[SparklingGemini]

We always, always, ALWAYS eat dinner together.

We may be tired and I may not feel like cooking but, even if we order out, we still sit down together. Although sometimes it on the couch or even on the bed! *gasp*

Once a week we have a family art night, where we work on a craft or project or draw or paint.

Mondays we have a picnic. If the weather is nice, we walk to a local arboretum. If its crummy weather, we picnic in the house.

We tend to go on a day trip at least one day out of the weekend. This usually involve a drive, a picnic and something outdoors like hiking in the redwoods or exploring tidepools or fishing together.

Every Easter both my family and my ILs get together for one big bash. I think this has been a very integral part for creating more cohesion between the two families.

DD & I have a date every week. Even though I'm home with her ALL week, we still have a set date where we go out and get something to munch on(usually bagels or Starbucks) and sit and watch the ducks swim around this pond and fountain. She gets my undivided attention and I get her to myself without the playground, kids or other things distracting her. We both look forward to this.

In the summer we attend the outdoor music fest once a week.

We frequently visit museums or aquariums.

We cook together almost every day. All three of us. Sometimes we just bake though.

Gosh, there are a zillion ways we bond. I could go on and on and on...

[Thalia]

These are great ideas and I would love to see more!!!

[MrsH]

I'm loving all the ideas! Here are some of ours, though they're very much still in flux as we've only been parents for less than two years (we have a 7, 4, and 9month old).

• dinner together - we sit down, say grace, clink our forks together, and eat. No toys at the table.
• occasionally on Sunday we'll eat pizza in our family room and watch the football game. The kids and dh really enjoy it.
• We tried to instill a family fun night but that fell by the wayside. The kids are so tired at night that it was just too much.
• When the two younger ones seem happily engaged or are napping, I set the timer for 15 minutes and give my eldest my undivided attention. Sometimes it's helping with homework, folding laundry, snuggling and reading a story, or even just sitting next to her as she draws.
• Family therapy every two weeks
• I'm working on having some annual traditions. Trimming the xmas tree is a big one. Having cake for new year's is starting to emerge. Easter egg hunt.
• I'm wanting to incorporate more nature time.
• We're working to make Sunday a true day off so we can have fun as a family. This has been a relatively new thing for us though and it's been an interesting transition!
• Saturday morning we all do chores together. The 4 year old wipes spots off the kitchen floor, matches up all our shoes, and wipes the kitchen table before accompanying a parent on chores. The eldest loves to clean the bathroom and mop. The baby rides along in the backpack.

We might have some more but the baby's waking up. Goodnight everyone!

[Thalia]

Thanks, please keep the ideas coming!

[karne]

Dinner together is the most important for our family. 4/5 weeknights DH is not there, but he phones us from the road and we all wish him home safely that eve. We say grace together-sometimes religious, sometimes not, but we are grateful.

Cooking/baking on the weekend mornings together. Crockpot dinners on Sundays around the woodstove.

We ski together, hike together, etc.

Family read alouds every night!

[emaye_to_2]

We just started a new family ritual.. Sunday nights at the hot soaking pool. We do lots of stuff together mainly explore nature, take hikes, look for wildlife. If we're lucky we go away on a overnight (hotel or camp).. eat out at our favorite restaurants.

[philomom]

We always have dinner together.

We read and share the same books.

Cook dessert together.

Plan vacations together.

Hike, bike and walk together.

Watch dvd's of older tv series together. We finished The Next Generation last year with them.

[Hoopin' Mama]

This is really interesting. I don't think about much bonding time. Maybe it's ds' age - at 5 we are still always paying constant attention it seems.

One thing I'd like to do when he's older is read books together. Like Harry Potter, Huck Finn, C.S. Lewis, etc. I really hope ds likes to read!

We do all vacations together and include him in making the plans, showing him where we are going, having him choose from a couple of activities. Usually we are going camping, but right now we are preparing for Hawaii.

I don't turn on the tv during the week, so after dinner is usually Mancala or Candy Land, or just wrestling on the couch.

[Thalia]

Bump!

[mom2reenie]

The friday nights we are home, we have a sleepover. Pop popcorn, watch a movie, and then either DD and DS sleeps in bed with me or I'll sleep on the couch and they'll sleep on the floor. DS (2.5) asks every night if it's sleepover night.

Before bed we read Goodnight Moon. We all cuddle together, read a book one of the kids pick out, read Goodnight moon and then pray together.

This past year we started having an indoor picnic the day we moved to town. Order pizza and talk about the past year.

[suziek]

Great thread.

For Valentine's Day we baked 13 heart shaped "love cakes", decorated them with candy and red sprinkles and delivered them to friends around town with secret admirer notes and clues about who we were. It was so fun--the baking (we did it over several days and frozen them), the decorating and the delivery. A tradition born....

[webjefita]

Hmmm... we always have dinner together. I sometimes cook with one of the boys, sometimes alone. When I ring the dinner bell, that means they stop what they're doing, wash hands, and come set the table.

During dinner we talk about the highlights of our day. What went right, what was our favorite part. Sometimes I'll ask a question to go around the table, like "Who helped you this week? What did you learn to do this week?" etc.

Most nights are "family nights." I think one of our favorite bonding activities is to play on the two queen beds we have on the floor. Even the baby loves this. We also read every night.

Saturday nights are a family movie night. We watch it on a projector on the wall. They love that.