Thanks for all your cheer and joy to the birth of Olivia Marlene!
So I had written that the hospital part was very hard on me. The only time I got scared was when my doctor put me in stir ups because Olivia was already crowning. My doula is still very outraged with the birth and keeps calling and checking on me. She wants me to talk lots about the experience (and keeps calling it traumatic) and yesterday it seemed like she was more angry than I am. I feel sad when I think about this last 90 minutes in hospital because the whole labor was so relaxed. I am almost sure that Olivia did her bowel movement when I got so stressed out in the hospital right at the end. My doula wants to write a letter to the OB with me - not with accusations but with our side of the birth. She says that she had never seen a doctor so inflexibel at birth. My baby was coming and all he had to do was to catch it but he had to do his whole old school program. Unfortunately the hospital had the doula sign papers at the birth that she could be asked to leave the room if she interfers with the birth. She never had to sign a paper like that before. I was doing great in the squatting position and then had a hard time in the stir ups and ended up having an episiotomy which I don't think I would have needed else wise.
Anyways when I talked to her yesterday it felt more like it was her battle than mine. Maybe I am not there yet but like some of you said in the other thread I like to focus on all of the rest of the birth and on our babymoon now. I don't think I have the ressources for a project like that letter right now. My husband has still off and we are enjoying the time together. After wards my mother is coming from Germany and I haven't seen her in 1 1/2 years so I am really looking forward to it. Maybe a letter would be good for closure in some time. Right now I am still healing my wounds and feel very much postpartum.
What do you think about the doula's suggestion and support? It is well meant but I feel like I have to justify myself if I don't want to write this letter right now. She says we owe it to the women who follow me but I feel I need to heal myself first.
So I had written that the hospital part was very hard on me. The only time I got scared was when my doctor put me in stir ups because Olivia was already crowning. My doula is still very outraged with the birth and keeps calling and checking on me. She wants me to talk lots about the experience (and keeps calling it traumatic) and yesterday it seemed like she was more angry than I am. I feel sad when I think about this last 90 minutes in hospital because the whole labor was so relaxed. I am almost sure that Olivia did her bowel movement when I got so stressed out in the hospital right at the end. My doula wants to write a letter to the OB with me - not with accusations but with our side of the birth. She says that she had never seen a doctor so inflexibel at birth. My baby was coming and all he had to do was to catch it but he had to do his whole old school program. Unfortunately the hospital had the doula sign papers at the birth that she could be asked to leave the room if she interfers with the birth. She never had to sign a paper like that before. I was doing great in the squatting position and then had a hard time in the stir ups and ended up having an episiotomy which I don't think I would have needed else wise.
Anyways when I talked to her yesterday it felt more like it was her battle than mine. Maybe I am not there yet but like some of you said in the other thread I like to focus on all of the rest of the birth and on our babymoon now. I don't think I have the ressources for a project like that letter right now. My husband has still off and we are enjoying the time together. After wards my mother is coming from Germany and I haven't seen her in 1 1/2 years so I am really looking forward to it. Maybe a letter would be good for closure in some time. Right now I am still healing my wounds and feel very much postpartum.
What do you think about the doula's suggestion and support? It is well meant but I feel like I have to justify myself if I don't want to write this letter right now. She says we owe it to the women who follow me but I feel I need to heal myself first.
