Baby wants her own space

[b_light]

So, my daughter is nothing like her brother.

We don't own a crib or co-sleeper. My 3 year old son is still in our bed and has always been. We thought we'd just add a baby to that. But she seems to only sleep well if she has enough space.

My husband travels for a living, and is gone a few days every week. When he's gone, there is enough room in our bed that she sleeps well. When he's in town, she fusses all night. She sleeps well during the day on a little boppy pillow and sometimes in a wrap, though better when put down. She does tend to sleep better in the wrap while I'm moving then she does cuddled up next to me in bed. But sleeps best alone.

I'm surprised and don't know if we should invest in a co-sleeper or other bedding solution for her.

My son has a floor bed in his room, and I'd like to avoid a crib altogether. I guess I'd prefer a Montessori floor bed if she has to sleep separately from us, but it'd seem weird to have the 3 year old sleep with us and the one month old somewhere else...

Anyone have a baby like this? Did they change as they grew older, or did they always prefer a separate sleeping space? What did you do to meet their needs?

[elmh23]

Ds preferred his space (and for the most part still does even if he does end up in bed with us, he won't cuddle for long and then stretches out.) We had a bassinet at first (the pack n play one) and then moved him to a crib we already had (hand me down.) By 10 months it was no longer safe for him to be in the crib (he's a climber!) and we moved him to a mattress on the floor of the kids bedroom. It worked well! He now sleeps almost always through the night in his room, only really comes in if he's sick or has a bad dream.

[Peony]

My girls both slept on top of me until they were 2, DS has very loudly let me know from day one that he does not want to held while sleeping (illness excepted). We have a king, only DD1 and DS sleep with me, DH is in another bed with DD2, so I do have the space to create him his own little nest in the bed. He is probably the only child of mine that would of ever slept in a crib but I am not interested in buying one at this point in my parenting career so we just make do with the current arrangement which really is working out well.

ETA: DS is 9 months now.

[3*is*magic]

DD2 and DS never wanted to be held while sleeping by the time they were 6 or 8 weeks and both preferred to fall asleep independently (by which I mean they were swaddled and laid down in their cribs while still awake) by the time they were six months. Their older sister was nothing like that!

If your baby prefers not to be held or co-sleep, the best way to meet her needs would be to provide a safe sleep environment for her to sleep alone. Perhaps you could borrow a pack-n-play or a crib?

[kathleen_mary]

My LO is 3 mo and sleeps so much better in her own room. She likes napping in the moby during the day, but really seems to do better with her own space at night. I think some kids are just like that.

We even got a big bed to make sure there would be room for all of us. Oh well, maybe the next one.

[tracymom1]

You could get a twin bed to put up next to yours - that way you make more space for her and when she gets older and wants to sleep in her own room, she already has a bed.

DS absolutely would not co-sleep with me!! He demanded his own space in his own room when he was about 3 or 4 months old. He cried and fussed EVERY night with me until one night I put him in the crib so I could go to the bathroom and in the time it took me to pee and wash my hands he fell asleep and stayed that way for 4 hours!!! He was so much happier in his own room and I was so disappointed!! Oh well... every baby is different, that's for sure!

[cristeen]

My guy prefers his own space, too. He and I sleep in the guest room in a Queen bed, DH is in the bedroom alone. The little guy has hiw own half of the bed, and I have my half. He's made it clear that he doesn't want me invading his half while he's sleeping.