Why cosleeping scares the begeezus out of me - Page 2

[Vespertina]

Originally Posted by Anastasiya

Scary!!! That would have freaked me out too.


There are a few things I can think of here....

You and DH were "really tired."
The baby was on a pillow.
The baby was between you and DH.
Cosleeping is not normal for you, baby or DH.

All of these things are more dangerous because cosleeping isn't something you normally do, so you're not hyper aware of the baby like parents who cosleep regularly are. That's one reason why I think that baby between you and DH was risky - he's not used to this either.

Not to mention you both were "really tired".

Plus, never put baby on a pillow.

That all said, I feel badly for you. Scares like that really unnerve a person - I'm glad he's okay.

Yep. Mindie

I'm a very light sleeper. Henry sleeps in the crook of my arm swaddled up. When DH is home he sleeps between me and the bed rail. I sometimes put him in a sleep wedge.

[doclegs]

Very scary Momma!! I would never, ever put baby on anything though, makes for easy rolling off. My heart is pounding in sympathy for you!

The way we're co-sleeping is Momma and baby in the middle of the bed, blankets and sheets are down around my waist and we have a sheet that goes up to LO's chest. My body heat keeps her warm. For the moment, Daddy is sleeping in our guest bedroom with the monitor in case I need him. We side-lying nurse during the night and Daddy changes diapers.

Once she starts rolling, however, I think we're going to either buy a side rail or we're going to put her in her crib, because I'm terrified she'll fall off the bed. That's why she sleeps in the middle and Mommy sleeps on whatever side she needs to feed off of.

[blessedwithboys]

no time to read all the replies, and i'm sure someone already covered this, but NEVER put your baby on a pillow!!! please please dont do that again. keep the baby in the crook of your arm or between yourself and the wall or a very safe bedrail.

i found with ds1, now 15yo, that i had to "learn" how to co-sleep, but that really just meant learning how to discern the leading of my instinct and combine that with practical safety measures. by the time i had ds2 7 yrs later, i was much more relaxed and not at all nervous.

try implementing the suggestions you've gotten here about safer ways to do it, and remember that mamas who dont co-sleep regularly, ie "not-so-crunchy" mamas, may be slightly less instinctive about how to keep their LO safe in the bed, but with practice, you will learn.

[evinmom]

Originally Posted by doclegs

Once she starts rolling, however, I think we're going to either buy a side rail or we're going to put her in her crib, because I'm terrified she'll fall off the bed. That's why she sleeps in the middle and Mommy sleeps on whatever side she needs to feed off of.

Using a bed rail with mesh or putting the mattress against the wall works really well for rolling. Once they learn to crawl, that's a whole different matter. My older two have each crawled off the edge of the bed at some point. With DS1 we then moved the mattress to the floor. We didn't need to worry with DD because she wouldn't sleep so I just wore her in a carrier. Then after she was 1 year old, we put her in the crib at night because she slept better with no distractions. This time around I'm hoping to use the crib for naps if Everett ever lets me put him down. I just hope that when we co-sleep at night, he won't crawl off the bed before I wake. I'm a very light sleeper around him though so I don't think it will happen.

[Tattooed Hand]

I find that having our bed on the floor saves alot of worry. We have a thin, hard mattress (DH would sleep on a wooden plank if I let him) that is literally 5 inches thick, right on the floor, so even if R did roll off, it would be onto carpet. Otherwise, DH sleep up against the wall and R sleeps in the crook of my arm. I wear a fleece button down shirt (open) with a tight long sleep tshirt. The fleece allows me to keep the covers waist height and I can ruck up the t-shirt easily to feed her (I've basically begun doing this in my sleep). I lay her on her back but she always ends up facing me and so when she begins rooting around I just pull up my shirt and latch her on. We usually fall asleep like that. At somepoint int he middle of the night I get DH up to change her diaper. I move her from one side of me to the other (which is sometimes between me and DH and sometimes on the side of the bed, not against the wall) and it never disturbs her. Also, we don't swaddle her - she has hated it from day 1 and with her arms free she can push a sheet off of her if it creeps too high. She just won't sleep if she isn't snuggled up to one of us. We're both super aware of her and all she has to do is pant lustfully at my boob and I'm awake.

I know that you're not suppose to do some of these things, but it works for us. But alot of these factors depend on how you sleep and are comfortable and how your baby is...

[Doberbrat]

we have a bedrail w/mesh and no boxspring so the rail sits inbetween the mattress and the bed - no suffocation hazard there.

the covers are wedged down so they dont come up to baby level where she is. and I just "know" where she is. we also dont cosleep full-time so if there's a night where I think I'm esp dead or I've had a glass of wine, I leave her in her bassinet.

[Craftymama]

That must've scared you. What a way to wake up. Dh woke up one morning and my feather pillow had come out from under my head and was covering my baby's. So now I just sleep on one small pillow. We have a sidecarred crib but when she wakes up to nurse she is in our bed. Sometimes on my side and sometimes in between dh and I. I sleep on my side and her tummy is against mine otherwise she rolls over (we have a tempurpedic mattress) and gets wedged face down. Her head touches my armpit and my legs are pulled up. The blanket is tucked behind her back. When I sleep, I am on my side but put a small pillow behind my back and sort of lean on that. When Ali is in between dh and I, I do the same thing but put a small hardish pillow between dh and baby. Our blanket is only tucked into waist. Please know that no matter what mistakes happen. There was a reason you woke up. Know that in your heart.