18 m/o kicking dogs?

[nj's_mom]

Mommas, I need some advice. (NAK)

We are an animal-loving family with one amazing dog. She is super tolerant (to a fault) and DD loves to play with her. She crawls all over her, "rides" her, leads her around, chases her, etc. She clearly thinks she is dominant over doggie (which, as a human, she should be) and will tell her "no" when she begs for food and tell her to go lie down in her bed. Sometimes she gets over zealous and will hit/kick at doggie, which I intercept with a "no, we dont' hit/kick doggie, that hurts her" and she kisses the doggie all better. no real issue there.

However, we live in the in-law of my in-laws (confusing, ik) & they have 4 horrible little dogs. Yes, they are that bad. The two small dogs have both nipped DD. One big dog is extremely territorial& growls constantly, sometimes at DD. other big dog tries to take her food from DD. They all are "the boss" and sit/sleep/lay on the couches and will NOT move if someone tries to sit down. they won't sit, go lie down, nothing. they are a pain in the rear & downright dangerous.

from hearing me say constantly no, go, etc, tsk tsk'ing or yelling at the dogs in some cases, & generally not trusting them, DD has figured out that they are "bad dogs". unfortunately, instead of binding her beezwax, she attempts to discipline them & often tries to hit at/kick them. I do the same as w/ our doggie (without the kisses) but since there are FOUR dogs whenever we are on their side it is a huge stressor & irritation, not to mention an accident waiting to happen.

what would you do? I put small dogs away for safety but big dogs REFUSE TO MOVE & in-laws do nothing. the only option I see is to minimize being aroubd them- but we share a kitchen!

[Bebegim]

My daughter use to kick and hit and yell at my mothers dogs. They are small (chihuahua and dachshund), but can be beggars, whiny, and annoying sometimes. My first instinct is to yell "go lay down girls." Then my daughter picked up on my irritation and started being mean to them.
"You are not in charge of the doggies, they are babies, so you need to protect them and love them. If they are being naughty, let mommy know. But you just treat them like babies."
That being said, I would DRAG the big doggies into a separate room and let my husband or my MIL know, that its a deal breaker. Put your scary dogs away or you don't get to see your grand baby. Period. Scary dogs are no good. I would constantly be stressed out with them around. Im a little over cautious with unpredictable animals. My daughter was literally attacked out of no where by a cat a few weeks ago. You can never be too careful with animals!
Best of luck!!!

[betsyj]

Can you gate the dogs out of the kitchen? That will keep them out of the kitchen at least.

They all are "the boss" and sit/sleep/lay on the couches and will NOT move if someone tries to sit down. they won't sit, go lie down, nothing. they are a pain in the rear & downright dangerous.

They aren't the boss-they just aren't trained. And untrained dogs are often unpredictable dogs and you are right to now allow them around your dd-even the small dogs can do damage.

She is super tolerant (to a fault) and DD loves to play with her. She crawls all over her, "rides" her, leads her around, chases her, etc

Please stop this now. It is not fair to the dog-she is not a horse and kids riding dogs can hurt them. You are putting your dog in an unfair situation-all kids should learn that you need to treat dogs with respect and that does not including riding them or chasing them.

I like the PP idea about equating them with babies-I think that is an early concept that some kids can grasp-babies are fragile and you need to be careful. Then, when she is a bit older you can expand the concept.

[RheaSilva]

Originally Posted by nj's_mom

Mommas, I need some advice. (NAK)

We are an animal-loving family with one amazing dog. She is super tolerant (to a fault) and DD loves to play with her. She crawls all over her, "rides" her, leads her around, chases her, etc.

If you are an animal lover (shoot, even if you're not), please do not allow your daughter to abuse this dog by "riding" her. Dogs are not meant to be ridden and even a small child can cause damage. Also, even the most well-behaved, docile pet has its limit and if it snaps at your daughter I'm worried that it will be branded a "bad dog" and carted off to the pound.

I'm not sure from your OP if you live with your in-laws or if your in-laws live with you. If you live with them, then it's unfortunately a case of "my house, my rules" and you can't really do anything short of moving out. If you threaten to not allow them to see their grandchild due to the behavior of their pets, you must be prepared for any repercussion of your ultimatim.

Now, if THEY live with YOU, it's pretty cut and dried. You should tell them that they need to get their own place to live if they want to continue to have a relationship with your daughter.

It's a tough situation to be in; good luck!

[fbsurvivor]

I have 2 big dogs, a Husky and a Malamute and a 17 month old daughter. Both dogs are rescues and I put them through training while I was pregnant, but both have some discipline issues. They both play too roughly sometimes. One licks my daughter (and everyone else) too much and the other gets scared by sudden motion. But all in all they both love my daughter. We have been doing training with them on how to be around the baby since day one and we have been training our daughter with how she has to act around the dogs for quite awhile. The situation is not perfect, but they are all best buddies.

1. I agree w/the other posters, no matter how nice your dog is, I would make sure that your daughter treats your dog with respect. She doesn't pull dogs ears, stick fingers in their eyes, crawl on them, ride them, tease them, etc. This will teach your daughter respect for your dog as well as other dogs. That means that if she is around stranger dogs, she will not provoke them into doing things.

2. From a very young age I taught my daughter the term "gentle". She still struggles with it, but every time my daughter gets out of control with our dogs we tell her "gentle". She knows how to pet a dog gently.

3. Fear around dogs, any dogs, even if that fear rears its ugly head as aggression and yelling at dogs, is a big NO NO. The dogs sense it and you get exactly the opposite of what you want, aggression. One of the most important things to keep your daughter from being bitten by any dog is that she learn not to show fear around dogs, big dogs, small dogs, whatever. She has to learn to be completely calm around dogs. Watch the dog, sense what the dog is doing, but feel and show no fear, nervousness, whatever. If your daughter senses that you are scared by a dog even if you're yelling at the dog, she's definitely going to pick that up.

4. If you're ready for the consequences I would tell your in-laws to get their dogs trained.

5. It happens to all of us. My daughter also tells our dogs "no", in that pouty toddler tone. I have had the same fear as you. My husband really yells at the dogs sometimes and I get worried that my daughter will learn that. We've tried to tone it down lately just for that reason. There's no easy answer, but I would be really concerned that your daughter needs to learn how to behave around dogs that are not her own as well as her own dog.

Check out this link about dog bites.

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdo...amily/668.html

BTW, a girl at our daughter's daycare got bitten by her family dog and had to have stiches and plastic surgery. The dog had to be given away. The girl was just trying to hug the dog, but the dog got scared and snapped. The kids and the dogs have to be trained. I reccomend Patricia B. McConnell's books on dogs. She explains dog language so you can tell if a dog is scared or aggressive, and what dogs do and don't like.