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7yo boys: issues with food/eating/control. Please advise! - Page 6

post #101 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
Yes but that is not happening here/
true, it was a side bar discussion.
post #102 of 125
What happens if you put bread on the table for every meal? Put cheese on the plate as part of the meal? You say you're making kid-friendly meals, but if they're not food your kids like then they're not kid friendly.

Have you read Ellyn Satter "Child of Mine: Feeding with love and good sense"?
post #103 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by hakeber View Post
but then there were raids of milk, a whole gallon of milk GONE, whole boxes of cereal disappearing, entire blocks of cheese POOF! A whole bag of apples or an entire bunch of grapes and this was AFTER having eaten a huge plate of lasagna and garlic bread and drinking a gallon of milk between the four of us at dinner.
Were there teenagers involved? Teens need waaaayyy more food than most people realize.

My little brother, who is about 6' and weighs 140 soaking wet on a heavy day, would go through 2-3 gallons of milk by himself in a week when I we were both living at home. And that's when he was 12.

I've had a number of male friends describe eating a couple of large pizzas after school and then asking their mom if dinner was ready yet, and then going out for a hamburger after eating dinner. And I've seen pictures of them from that time and I swear their waists were hardly larger than my thigh is now.
post #104 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Were there teenagers involved? Teens need waaaayyy more food than most people realize.

My little brother, who is about 6' and weighs 140 soaking wet on a heavy day, would go through 2-3 gallons of milk by himself in a week when I we were both living at home. And that's when he was 12.

I've had a number of male friends describe eating a couple of large pizzas after school and then asking their mom if dinner was ready yet, and then going out for a hamburger after eating dinner. And I've seen pictures of them from that time and I swear their waists were hardly larger than my thigh is now.
She said they were smoking weed. That changes everything. LOL
post #105 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Were there teenagers involved? Teens need waaaayyy more food than most people realize.

My little brother, who is about 6' and weighs 140 soaking wet on a heavy day, would go through 2-3 gallons of milk by himself in a week when I we were both living at home. And that's when he was 12.

I've had a number of male friends describe eating a couple of large pizzas after school and then asking their mom if dinner was ready yet, and then going out for a hamburger after eating dinner. And I've seen pictures of them from that time and I swear their waists were hardly larger than my thigh is now.
I know, and my brother was 6ft tall at the age of 14...add
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
She said they were smoking weed. That changes everything. LOL
And you have a seriously hungry eating machine!
post #106 of 125
Yay teens. my 14 yo ate a the troop leaders house last night, homemade chicken parmesan, salad, fresh baked bread, and homemade oatmeal cookies for dessert. The leader told me that with ten boys, she cooked 30 lbs of chicken, eight quarts of salad, a flat of tomatoes, five loaves of bread, and five batches of cookies. DS had two servings of everything himself. Then on the drive home asked if we could go through the drive through and bought (with his money) a quarter pounder meal.

Kids need way more than adults, even 7yo. I wanted to ask the OP about serving sizes.

About kids not eating what is prepared, what we have in our house is a monthly dinner calendar (which not only reduces some snacking because they can anticipate what's coming up, it also saves money because the kids know what is going to be cooked and will ask if x for for Tuesday night's dinner), anyway, the monthly calendar is made by the entire family, not just mom and dad. So the kids have just as much say in what is being served. As for breakfast and lunch, that is very flexible, and kids can serve themselves something else if they don't like it. Even my four year old is pretty good about helping herself.
post #107 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by daniellebluetoo View Post
I don't disagree here, of course SOMETHING needs to change, and I assumed that's why the Op was here to begin with. I don't how ever agree that food should be wasted just for the sake of "making little johnny happy".


But if they aren't eating at all, then her current plan wastes MORE food than just asking them to help plan meals, and help prepare, rather than saying "Here's the food I cooked for you, it's made to fit MY desires, eat it or be hungry"

And why in the world can Johnny not be happy with food? If my friend came over, and didn't prefer oatmeal, would I not offer her something else? Why would I treat someone I LOVE any differently?
post #108 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Multimomma View Post
About kids not eating what is prepared, what we have in our house is a monthly dinner calendar (which not only reduces some snacking because they can anticipate what's coming up, it also saves money because the kids know what is going to be cooked and will ask if x for for Tuesday night's dinner), anyway, the monthly calendar is made by the entire family, not just mom and dad. So the kids have just as much say in what is being served.
mine are only 4 and 1 month, but that is an AWESOME . I'm sooo stealing that!
post #109 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
I post that my kids are eating off the floor, going into strangers' fridges, and sneaking fruit into their clothes and the answer is that it's because I'm labeling them?



I am posting here after months of making various meals only to have them refuse to take even one bite and then gorge themselves on contraband snacks when I turn my back.

No, I do not think I am underestimating their palates.
You may not be underestimating their palates but you are underestimating their hunger. Meals are not kid friendly if the kids refuse to eat them. Apples and cheese are healthy snacks - I cannot imagine limiting my daughter's access to fresh fruit and other healthy snacks - she is almost 8 years old and can definitely eat more than me on one of her hungry days!
post #110 of 125
Every time I see a thread about children EATING, posted in the Discipline forum, it makes me want to cry.

Your children are hungry. Please let them eat.

I could frankly not care less whether my son is eating at "mealtimes" or getting his nutrition through "snacks." If your children are able to nourish themselves without even inconveniencing you, I don't see why they have to match their times of hunger to when you feel like cooking. If they don't eat the stir-fry (or whatever) but eat bread, fruit, and cheese, I just cannot see the problem.

Feed your children. You said yourself that they are hungry.
post #111 of 125
I will say I do think there are times where it is ok to lock the fridge, like we do right now. It is not to prevent the kids from eating or getting anything, as my older two know how to undo the child lock on the fridge.

We do put the child lock on now, because my 2 year old thinks it is fun to go open the door and just sit there with it open all the time. And she will dig through the drawers/shelves and make a mess. I don't restrict her eating, but do want to make sure that she is not ruining food by letting it get warm from the door being open, or breaking the fridge because she has not learned she has to shut the drawers yet when she tries to close the door.

I total think that a child knows when they are hungry and should be able to eat within reason.

What my youngest son did today was not appropriate and he was told so. He took his 2 yo sister's sippy of juice and drank it all down while we were getting in the car. He was told he gets no more juice today, because that was not his juice to drink. If he was thirsty he could have had some water, which I always keep a bottle or two of in the car, for such emergencies.
post #112 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by SneakyPie View Post
Every time I see a thread about children EATING, posted in the Discipline forum, it makes me want to cry.

Your children are hungry. Please let them eat.

I could frankly not care less whether my son is eating at "mealtimes" or getting his nutrition through "snacks." If your children are able to nourish themselves without even inconveniencing you, I don't see why they have to match their times of hunger to when you feel like cooking. If they don't eat the stir-fry (or whatever) but eat bread, fruit, and cheese, I just cannot see the problem.

Feed your children. You said yourself that they are hungry.
ITA. I've had days when I'm not hungry for one meal, but am starving for the next. Feed them if they are hungry. Kids need snacks - they have small stomachs and huge appetites at that age. One cheese stick isn't going to get them through the 5 or 6 hours between lunch and dinner.

And *yeah that* to everything betsyj said. A kid should never, ever have to "sneak" an apple. That's so sad.
post #113 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by hakeber View Post
mine are only 4 and 1 month, but that is an AWESOME . I'm sooo stealing that!
:
post #114 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by daniellebluetoo View Post
Yeah, see, I can TOTALLY see this happening, in some strange Carol Burnet skit type of way....moms all over the place trying to manage a few kids, she's a bit flustered, and the oldest boys decide to "mess" with mom, instead of waiting or asking, they decide to start acting up and doing things like eating off the floor or asking strangers, things they KNOW will get moms attention...... I guess I just have a hard imagining that a mom actually limits her kids over all food intake, and that chicFila thing was more of a manors issue, with the boys either not wanting to be patient to wait for mom to get more food or maybe they just didn't like the answer they got which could have been wait til we get home, or no jhonny this food isn't the best food for you, you can have a salad off the menu if your still hungry...or what not.
Considering one of the other examples was a child hiding an apple in his pants, it really doesn't seem like this is attention getting behavior since he didn't want mom to know he had the food. Granted, kids do weird things to get attention (oh if only I had time to write a book on it...) but the OP even says that it's clearly hunger related. So while the example above is possible, I don't see any indication of that scenario in the OPs posting.

That's not to say there isn't a manners issue here, but I think it's more that the child needs to learn that telling mom he's still hungrey instead of just grabbing stuff off the floor is the more acceptible course of action. That does require mom to take him seriously though, and not just assume he's full and asking for food "to get attention". If mom disregaurds those needs then he'll stop asking and will just get better at hiding it when he picks up food to eat off the floor.


Quote:
HOpe that made sense, I was up late working on my paper....
Ah "academic insomnia"...I miss those days
post #115 of 125
OP, I think you might be underestimating how much a growing boy can eat. DS can out-eat more than DH and I combined when he's going through a growth spurt. He eats as much as DH when he's not.

He can eat as much fruit, veggies, yogurt, and cheese sticks as he wants. Crackers within reason, and popcorn too.

Make a special "Snack Box" for them in the fridge. Fill it with foods they can snack on whenever they want, and then let them know they can snack from there whenever they feel the urge. Get them involved in filling up the box.

You're making this into a battle when it really doesn't need to be. Growing kids can eat a ridiculous amount of food. Give them the right foods and let them eat. They'll probably taper off when their current growth spurt tapers.
post #116 of 125
Also, my son hates his food mixed. He doesn't eat casseroles, stir fry, or any type of mixed up food.

He likes everything separate. Once I figured that out, I stopped getting frustrated when he wouldn't eat anything I cooked.
post #117 of 125
I only skimmed through the thread.

My kid is only 5, but we deal with SOME of the same stuff. He won't eat what I make him but an hour late he's in the cabinets looking for food. I do keep some junk in the house and he goes for that. Some days he won't eat until 3 or 4 pm. And that's when I make things he LIKES. Other days he does ok.

I do have to limit his intake of some stuff because too much dairy, especially cheese, and he gets constipated. He'll drink too much juice. He'll eat nothing but corn dogs all day if I let him. So I DO have to limit things.

But fruits and veggies are a free-for-all. Even if it's just before dinner. He's not going to fill up on a carrot, ya know? So I let him have the carrot.

It's embarrassing when I try to feed him all day and when grandma comes over he begs her for a happy meal because he's "so hungry!". I'll admit to taking some responsibility for him being accustomed to crappy food, but I completely revamped our diets 6 months ago and his dad still feeds him crap every day...lunchables, mcdonald's, corn dogs, fish sticks, ect. I try to feed him at least one really good meal a day but usually give in and just feed him a damn corn dog when he won't eat.

I understand being frustrated when people (even kids) won't eat what you cook. Especially when you try hard to make sure it's something everyone likes. I don't really know the answer. On one hand, I understand wanting to have control over what I eat. I wouldn't want to be told what to eat day after day. On the other hand, it's disrespectful for kids to turn up their noses at *everything*. Not to mention it's not practical for most people's budgets to let their kids chow down on the snacky stuff. I grew up just eating what my mom cooked. Sometimes I didn't like it. Sometimes my mom would let me get something else. But that happened like twice a month, not everyday.

I'd start with letting them have a say in some of the meals. If you tend to decide day to day what to eat that should be pretty easy.....let one of them decide breakfast one day, the other the next. Then you get to decide a day. And so on. My kid does better if I let him have a say in what we make.

I do let DS get something else if he doesn't like dinner, but it has to be something healthy. He cannot live on PB sandwiches and cheese. Well, he could, but that's not healthy, despite what some people may believe. We need more variety than that to be healthy.
post #118 of 125
I think there might be a twin issue here, too. As in, two kids the same age can scheme up stuff in a way that a single child of any age cannot do. One kid under the table at Chikfila is weird. Two kids under the table at Chikfila is, somehow, not so weird. Partner in Crime, as it were.
How about adding another meal to the day for them, something of at least 400-500 calories and desireable - a delish sandwich, special microwave meal ($1.25 on sale), cheese and crackers. Make it a Month of March thing, so it has a beginning, middle, and end, and see if that solves anything. If you make it microwave meals - teaches them about sales, shopping (they should pick them out), teaches them microwave skills, and tries to solve a "problem" with calories. Total cost: 30 days x 2 kids x $1.25 = $75.
post #119 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
I post that my kids are eating off the floor, going into strangers' fridges, and sneaking fruit into their clothes and the answer is that it's because I'm labeling them?



I am posting here after months of making various meals only to have them refuse to take even one bite and then gorge themselves on contraband snacks when I turn my back.

No, I do not think I am underestimating their palates.
I can tell you what I have to do... stop buying things that I don't want mine to have. He would live all day on crackes- so no more crackers in home. If he was in someone else's kitchen on his own (he's 5, he doesn't do this yet), we would have to not go there for a while. Or restaurants where he ate off floors- tho I will admit to liking floor food at one age... This is not a fabulous solutoin, but it's what I have tried. I also made up food group cards, but he doesn't love them.
post #120 of 125
If your children are going to the extremes you say they are to get food, something is definitely "wrong" ... and not with the children.

You admit your children are hungry... feed them more. Problem solved.
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