Originally Posted by daniellebluetoo
You missed the point..... being that children don't always know their body limits
And as an adult you know your child's limits all the time? You can tell when they are hungry and go away from the table wanting more? You can tell when they need something to drink?
I am sorry, a child knows more about what is going on with them than we do when it comes to certain things. A child knows when they are hungry. We don't need to train them. They have learned it since they were born, unless you shoved so much food down them in a sitting that they never learned their natural limits from it. Look at breastfeeding...uneducated people tell a mother that their baby should only nurse for 10 minutes per side. This is not true, a baby should be allowed to nurse until they are done, and a clock should not be consulted - I had one child who took 30-40 minutes sometimes to get what he needed. I had another that at times would be done in 5-10 minutes.
Yes, as parents we need to make sure that our children are not gorging themselves to sickness on their favorite foods, and what is considered healthy eating. As in your example of the eating out...yes, the girl needed to be watched to ensure she wasn't eating beyond reason...but I to the flip side of that, my BFF's daughter will do this after coming back from her Bio Dad's at visitation, because she refuses to eat there. She does not like the foods, she is intollerant or allergic to much of it, and they refuse to make meals around what she is able to eat. So, she refuses. She comes home to Mom, and she will pig out for days on end. She will go to dad's for a week and loose 5 lbs, and then go home and gain it all back. The child is hungry, and needs the food and shouldn't be restricted from it.
Originally Posted by daniellebluetoo
they are CHOOSING not to, and then eating/sneaking the (higher priced) snack foods, behind moms back.
In this house, children ask permission for things because.....
I am not made of $,
If children are given free reign, and eat all of X,Y, or Z, then there is/may not be enough for the rest of the week, some one else's, lunch, or a dinner recipe.
It helps me keep mental inventory of our food stocks, and plan accordingly.
It's just plain good manners to have consideration for every one else it he household, and by ASKING before you take, allows me to gauge the food usage during the week.
I try to buy 98% healthy whole foods, and a few "snack" items. But if my son wants 5 sandwiches in one day, there won't be enough bread for the rest of the weeks school lunches.
I am not a short order cook, I am on a budget, I make frugal tasty meals, and that's that. Would I like to live extravagantly in the kitchen, sure who wouldn't....but that's not the reality of things.
Honestly I don't see the problem here as the OP trying to be "controlling"
I think she needs some organizational help, and a little help with the kids, getting them on board.
A lot of what I see in your posts is about money - "high priced", "I am not made of money", "budgeting/limiting foods to ensure enough for a week".
In certain circumstances, this is perfectly fine - I am talking junk food - cookies, chips, candy, soda, ding dongs/ho hos/twinkies, etc. Those items should be limited and my kids in general ask first before they go for them. Even when I bake a cake, they ask first - generally they are allowed, unless it is not an appropriate time (ie after breakfast, or right before a meal), and I do tell them that they may have a piece later, but it is "too early", or "we are getting ready for dinner in a few minutes".
If you are running low on something - example you only have 2 apples left - yes, the child should come and say "Mom, there are only two apples left and I would like one of them". Why, not to control money, but so that a) You know you are running out of an item; and b) to show that they are looking out for everyone not just themselves.
I don't think people need to gauge food usage during the week, because that shows a sign of control. You don't need to inventory, that every week you buy 7 apples, 6 oranges, and 4 peaches.
I look every day in my fridge, since I make 3 meals a day in general) and have a good idea of what is in there. If I notice we are running low on something, I will write it down on a list. If I notice we are totally out of something I will go get it.
Plain and simple, it does cost a lot of feed kids. But I will skimp on other things to ensure that my kids get the good foods. So what if my kids eat all the apples in 2 days that I purchased. I will go buy more. I know exactly going into the store, that what I am buying will not last the week with my kids, and will need to make another trip to get more later. But I wont refuse my kids food if they are hungry. Why, because then I am not meeting their basic need of food. If my child wants 5 sandwhiches in one day, and it leaves me low on bread, I will put it on my list and get it the next day while I am running errands, or if it is all gone I will make a quick trip or have DH pick it up on his way home.