JSMa - I'm going to respectfully agree with Ione. It is up to BOTH parents to fight for their children. One parent doesn't get off scott free just b/c the other moved away. She threatened child support actions, he should have beat her to the punch and petitioned for visitation (you say he wants children after all).
1) She was cheating on him, and he knew it.
2) She moved away well prior to the birth of the child. There is nothing the potential biological Father can do until the child is born, with establishing paternity, support or visitation.
3) She may have put another man down on the original birth certificate as the bio father, like maybe the guy she is seeing now, or someone else, or even left it blank.
4) For him to be able to do anything to establish paternity, visitation or support he needs to know several things: a) Child's Name; b) Date of Birth; c) Biological Mothers name and address. Obviously he didn't know a or b here, as Mother failed to inform him, because she didn't want him to know about the baby. So, yes, he should have tried to do something , but Mother didn't give him the means to do it, so it is more her fault. The ONLY thing he could have done in advance was file with the State of PA (where I presuming the child was conceived since that is where JSMA is from, and he is her friend) putative Father' registry.