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Originally Posted by Gray's Mommy  I had a friend who wrote an email to me about how my last birth (only on #3) was going to help me in my doula work. She said now that I had three completely different birth experiences (hospital birth, homebirth, cesarean birth)--I would be a stronger and better advocate for my clients and if their births went off the chosen path-I would be able to help them heal faster through my experiences. I hope this is true.
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Well, they sure did open my eyes a little bit more. While looking back I think I was very compassionate to clients when things went the way they didn't want them to the one thing that really hit home for me was that when I was going through the whole thing I could point out the similarities between me and certain clients.
I will never forget how the doctor (again not my doctor who was out of town at the time) told me to stop being the doula and be the patient LOL. I didn't even realize I was doing it, but while I was in labor if I had to do something I was instructing how to do it. For example, when I wanted to get into the tub instead of letting someone else do it I was telling my dh exactly how to fill it, how to make sure the door was on, etc. Looking back it was probably kind of funny because I would literally stop laboring and tell the people around me what to do. When I ended up getting my epidural I started to order my dh on how to set up the bed, the chair for my feet - well...you get the idea and the doctor actually told me to be the patient and let them set up for me.
Now the nice thing about knowing so much more and being there so many more times was that when it came time to catching the baby the doctor told me that it was my turn to catch my very first baby (she asked me if I ever caught a clients baby and since I hadnt she told me I had to catch my own). So with my dh's help we caught our son which was so fantastic and so neat, so now I can say I caught a baby (sort of LOLOLOL).
I think having different kinds of births does change a person and it does make them able to relate a little better to clients. I don't want to offend anyone else here who might be a doula, but I can certainly tell you that I know someone who had homebirths and all she ever talks about is how wonderful her homebirths are and how one should only birth in that situation and truthfully she made me feel bad for opting for a hospital birth with my last dd. In the end I was glad I opted for it because when I started bleeding profusely at home ad was rushed to the hospital with a partial abruption I knew that a homebirth midwife would have sent me there anyhow. When I got pregnant this time around that same doula tried to convince me I had to have a homebirth and talked about how my experience with birth wasn't real, blah, blah, blah. Well again had I opted for a homebirth I would have been sent to the hospital because my son was a preemie and needed the NICU, so I do think our experiences shape who we are and can shape how we practice. While I believe that natural is the optimal type of birth I also know first hand that sometimes that also isn't the best.
I can also tell you that from my last two birth experiences it made me realize that I want to actually go back to school. While I love doula work I also thought long and hard about the wonderful nurses I had during my births that I didn't expect to go the way they did and I realized I want to be one of those kind and friendly nurses. I believe that I can make a difference in that field as well - just like the nurses that I worked with did. Right now I am leaning towards L&D or NICU - both had such a huge impact on my life. I plan on continuing to do doula work for as long as I can so will definitely do that while in school and afterwards if I can because it is my passion.
Then they wanted to admit me because I was leaking fluid. I went home to compose myself first but ended up going into labor soon. Then they were bossy about where I could be (because of size) and the doctor there ended up pushing me onto my back while I screamed at them not to. That was probably good though because DS ended up shooting out of me and they almost dropped him. So much for him being too big and getting stuck. 
