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Who did (will) you invite to the birth? - Page 3

post #41 of 50
I wanted my DH with me, and I invited my mom. We also had our MW and a nurse.

I spent most of my labor in silence, meditating and zoning out with DH's close support. My mom had been SO excited to be at the birth, but she ended up quietly leaving after a few hours. She later told me that DH & I just looked so intimate and connected, she didnt want to disturb it. DH called her when I started transistion, so she could have a heads up if she wanted to come back. She got back just in time, and was there when DS came out.

I was really glad she gave DH & I our private space, and I was also glad she was able to see DS born.
post #42 of 50
For my first L&D it was just me, DH, MW and my mother. With my second, it was me, DH, MIL, my mom, MW, MW's asst., and birth photographer. It was so wonderful to have such a support and wonderful atmosphere the second time around.
post #43 of 50
I spent my whole pregnancy feeling very stongly that I wanted it to just be me, dh, and the mws. DH's cousin, whom we are both very close to, had hinted that she would like to be there if I wanted, but I didn't. When I was in labor she just happened to come by with her whole family (her dh and 3 teenage kids), which was actually really great. DH felt like he needed lots of help at that point setting up the birth tub and just getting himself ready for everything. Their youngest daughter timed my contractions; everyone was busy. Once things got settled down (other than my contractions, which were getting more and more intense), and they were getting ready to leave, I decided on a whim that I wanted dh's cousin to stay. I was so glad she was there. She helped me for the 30 or so minutes between when everyone else left and the mws got there. She took pictures. She reassured dh, who was pretty excited and a little nervous. She had three homebirths herself and had been at several other births, so she was a wonderful support person. If we were going to have another baby (we aren't), I would want her there again.
post #44 of 50
With DS it was just DH and me. It was an induction() so everyone knew when I was going to the hospital. The family was there but waited outside. It was great to have them come in immediately after DS was born and bond with him and support me!
With DD I had a doula,DH,and another mama/friend. While with both births I tended to just focus inward on myself and my body(and tune everyone out for that matter!)it was nice to have my friend there for support and just cool in general that we were both at each others birth's of our children. She helped me when DH was just kind of trying to figure out what to do, ha-ha! Having a doula was helpful b/c DH gets kinda freaked out at the whole labor and birthing process! She provided me with suggestions he had no clue about By the time DD arrived my MIL and parents had made it into town so they got to see her right away too(and hear me during the birthing process since I was the only one on the floor). kinda funny!
post #45 of 50
When I gave birth to DS 8 months ago, I wanted only DH and the midwives around. (it was a homebirth that ended in a c-section). After some thought, I felt bad for my mom, who had flown all the way from Greece to be here for the birth of her first grand-child and so I decided to let her be around along with MIL. I asked my dad not to be in the house while I was laboring cause I feared it would be too distracting and I didn't feel comfortable being naked while he's here. Through the labor, I had asked both mom and MIL to be out of the way, and help the midwives only if they are asked to, which they didn't have to do at any point. They were very discreet and sweet and I almost forgot they were here.
post #46 of 50


Birth #1: Wanted my husband and friend (who I knew would stand up for me to the nurses in the hospital) but there were also nurses (they were doing what was their purpose but I wish they hadn't been there) and my MIL came in while I was pushing, my strong friend allowed my MIL to take my other leg instead, which was not only humiliating (I tried to get my hubby to get her out, the nurse tried to get her out and I was trying to push) but totally distracting because I felt like she'd drop my leg! I hadn't planned on my mother being there either but when in pain asked for my "mommy" to come and she quietly sat in the back of the room.

Birth #2: Home-birth. Husband, midwife, cousin taking pictures, sister in law video-taping, mother watching my first child, first child watching sister be born. Sister in law was unexpected and so we put her to "work" with the camera. The only person there that distracted me this time was my mother - cringing her face when she saw me in labor. My maternal grandmother was there in the afternoon when I went into labor - she talked with me until the contractions became too much to talk through. I cherish the memory of that time with her.

Upcoming birth #3: Planning another home birth. Planned attendees: Husband and our two children, midwife, possible midwife's assistant, mother in law (whom I'm much closer to and comfortable around now - and we plan to let her know she may NOT "participate" in the birth this time - that she may only be there in the back of the room quietly this time if she comes), my mother (but we may ask her to go out of the room unless she can keep a straight face or just come in the room once baby is born), I'd invite my grandmother if she lived closer, and not sure if we'll just hand the camera to someone already on this list or enlist someone to specifically come and take pictures. It is a lot of people but I will most likely labor mostly in my room with just me and dh - until I go into the pool in the living room. The pool covers/blurs most of the nakedness. The lights will be dimmed and everyone will know it is important to be very quiet during contractions - in between we have a good ol' time - least until they come faster/harder and pushing.
post #47 of 50
I haven't read past the first page, but thought I'd add my two cents.

I'm another one sitting here waiting to go into labor. I'm having a HB, and it will be my MW, her assistant, DH, and DD if it's not the middle of the night. My mom is actually in town staying with us, but I don't want her around if I can help it during labor, and certainly not during the birth. She is only here to help out with DD, but honestly, if she weren't here, we were ok with DH taking that role.

I'm actually hoping to labor at night, and get the MWs in without waking everyone. I've been really feeling the need to be alone the last day or two, and think it will carry over to labor as well.

ETA: With DD, everyone was in the hospital waiting room. My parents, ILs, SIL and her husband, DHs step-siblings. We called and said we were at the hospital, but not to come. They did. And they all had to drive 6 HOURS to get there. It really, really bothered me to know they were all down there just waiting all night. And I know it's going to bother me a little to have my mom in my house this time. We aren't calling anyone else to let them know I'm laboring, just so I don't feel like I'm on anyone's timetable, because it really bothered me last time.
post #48 of 50
DH and I are planning a homebirth. We have invited my mom & dad, my MIL, and DH's 2 aunts. My mom and MIL will be in charge of supporting me with DH, my dad will be in charge of DS, and 2 aunts are video and photography. My Midwife and her assitant will be there aswell.
post #49 of 50
I withdraw within myself during labor and I definitely don't need or want too many distractions. Even music distracted me, (and I'm a music lover!).

DP and my doula were the only invites and if I happen to do it again, the guest list will probably stay the same.
post #50 of 50

labor tip

Attending my birth
my husband
my doula
an young woman friend recently married
my doctor

At some point 5 minutes before birth, 52 hours since labor began, I requested loudly but kindly that I need everybody in the room to stop moving. I needed to concentrate. The next push progressed as did every push after that.
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