or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Pierced Ears
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Pierced Ears - Page 2

post #21 of 82
DD got hers pierced this year for Christmas... shes 4 1/2 and learned what it entailed beforehand. She took VERY good care of them and is now able to change them whenever she wants (but doesn't want to because they are pretty pink jewels lol)

She wanted it done at age 2 but I knew then she did not understand the idea of having a hole put through your ear... so I did not do it then.

I would never do it before the child is old enough to understand what it entails and STILL want it. Too young runs the risk of them pulling them out and possibly even ending up eating them (seen that happen...) it does not hurt them any to wait until they are older. If they want to play dress up with earrings before they are older, there are some nice clip ons or press ons that dont hurt any.
post #22 of 82
I've struggled with this one. As it turns out, I won't be having any girls but nonetheless I've thought about it a lot.

My parents didn't let me get my ears pierced. I had to sneak and get it done when I was 18. And then I went piercing crazy. As a girl, I wished so hard to have pierced ears. Even lied about it to people who asked why I didn't (I would say I did but they were just too tiny to see--I remember that as my first lie). So while I don't believe in changing any one's body against their will, a part of me definitely would want a girl child of mine to have her ears pierced and pierced early because of my experiences.

But I honestly believe, it's not my decision to make. Really it's not. It's quite possible that your daughter may not want her ears pierced even if everyone around her has them pierced. She may not want to go through the pain of getting them pierced and may be perfectly happy with clip-ons. They have such cute styles now too. Also, pain is pain is pain. An infant can't tell you how much pain she's in. No, she won't remember the pain but she will still experience it. And unlike my parents, if my daughter expressed a desire to have them pierced, we'd talk about in detail and I'd get it done by a professional.

And trust me . . . people confuse baby sex all the time. My sons could be dressed head to toe in boy clothes that say, "Daddy's All-Time Slugger" or something super boyish and people will still say, "Oh, what cute little girls". Huh? I don't think it's anything to get offended about. I just gently correct them and say that they are boys.

The choice really should be up to your daughter.
post #23 of 82
Originally Posted by rootzdawta View Post
And trust me . . . people confuse baby sex all the time. My sons could be dressed head to toe in boy clothes that say, "Daddy's All-Time Slugger" or something super boyish and people will still say, "Oh, what cute little girls". Huh? I don't think it's anything to get offended about. I just gently correct them and say that they are boys.
This is why we ended up getting DSs first haircut at 3 months... it was either get it cut into a boyish cut or start using barrettes to keep his hair out of his eyes and have everyone convinced we were dressing up our girl in boy clothes lol.
post #24 of 82
The thing is, everyone will still say, "what a cute little boy" even if you pierce her ears, dress her in head to toe pink, and flash a huge neon sign over her head that says, "I'm a girl". People just don't think, they just say whatever comes into their head. Until just a few months ago, Ds who is 4 and a half liked to wear his hair long. He could be dressed in hiking boots, jeans with a belt, a sports t-shirt and a dark blue flannel, and people would still say to me, "oh what a cute little girl". I didn't force Ds to shave his head, I just ignored people's gender assumptions. As a parent you are going to have learn to have a thicker skin.
post #25 of 82
Originally Posted by jennica View Post
As a parent you are going to have learn to have a thicker skin.
That. And putting a bow on her head will be more obvious and less permanent, if you actually want to advertise "girl."

My eldest just got her ears pierced at 10. I figured she's old enough to understand the potential consequences, care for her ears, let me know if there are issues, etc.

I had a pretty bad infection after my second set of piercings and don't wear earrings at all now even though the holes are still intact. It didn't look very dramatic at all - you could have barely identified a problem - but it hurt SO BAD, and I can't imagine thinking my daughter's ears were "a little irritated" and having her feel like I did.
post #26 of 82
I would not pierce an infant's ears. I would wait until they're old enough to want it done and when they are able to take care of them properly.
post #27 of 82
My MIL was pretty upset when she found out that we won't be piercing our little girl's ears. My husband is Chilean and in Chile all little baby girls get their ears pierced right away, it's just a cultural thing, but I could never imagine doing Ela's ears. Not only am I against it because of the points that other posters made re: body modification and the baby's personal choice, I also think that waiting is a great opportunity to teach independence and responsibility. Getting my ears pierced at 7 years old was like a rite of passage for me and I remember feeling like I was really a big girl now. But the privilege of the earrings came with the responsibility of keeping them clean and well cared for, and I knew before I was allowed to get them that I would also be expected to care for them. I think it was a great learning opportunity, and I plan to do the same with my daughter.
post #28 of 82
Thread Starter 
Wow, this thread really took off. That said I never said I'm for sure getting her ears pierced thus the reason for asking opinions on the matter. I agree with it being a personal decision therefore I won't be piercing her ears. Also the gender factor wasn't the only reason I CONSIDERED piercing her ears. I still remember the prick and burning sensation of getting my ears pierced but I'd my parents had of done it when I was an infant I know I would not remember it. On the other hand as a parent I don't want my baby to be in pain because of a decision I made for her. Which is why I restled with doing it or not doing it.

I'm sure I will get remarks about her gender despite what I do but I will try to eliminate that confusion as much as possible with pink stuff because unlike most new moms my baby will not look that much like me since she is half Asian so I will have to not only deal with is she a boy but also with is she yours is she adopted, etc. So I was just trying to eliminate gender confusion on top of everything else but ppl don't think before they speak so my efforts will be in vain rather she has pierced ears or not. So I'm not going to do it.
post #29 of 82
OP, I hope you don't feel attacked.

I did want to let you know that recent research has shown that although infants do not conciously remember pain, experiencing that pain does cause neurological changes.
post #30 of 82
Originally Posted by LittleLegos View Post
I wanted to respond and let you know even if your baby is dressed in pink from head to toe, people may still admired your "little boy." It's just the way some people are.
Originally Posted by jocelyndale View Post
A reputable piercer with clean equipment will not modify the body of an infant.
Originally Posted by MammaB21 View Post

There are plenty of threads about this here. If you get them done at a shop that pierces infants, they'll use the gun. A gun can cause scar tissue. It can also pierce at an angle, or the two holes can be at different spots on the ears. It might have to be corrected later. It can cause infection. For those reasons alone, I've chosen to wait until my children are old enough to ask for it, take care of it, and get it done in a reputable shop. I also agree that body modification should be the choice of the person living in that body.

I have three girls and one boy. People *always* call my girls boys and my boys girls. I don't get it but I'd never put holes in them to prove a point-especially with so many boys with piercings nowadays. You could have a neon flashing sign on their heads that says "GIRL" and some people still wouldn't get it.

I am so glad you changed your mind about it. My mom did it to me and it's just awful. My oldest was 8 when she had her ears pierced by her choice and it was a big deal and a mom-daughter thing. I would never trade that for forcing an infant to be held and have holes put in them against their will for cosmetic reasons.
post #31 of 82
I wouldn't do it. My daughter can choose that for herself when she is older. That said, I don't think it's a huge deal.

You should be aware though, that having a baby's ears pierced will NOT stop the "Oh, he's so cute" comments. Some people just don't look for gender indications on a baby before using their own choice of pronoun. Believe me, I've had two. And if it's so important that you have glaring gender indications, why not just make sure you keep a bow in her hair. Most people will notice a bow WAY before they would notice something as inconspicious as pierced ears.
post #32 of 82
Originally Posted by BabyWang2010 View Post
So my question is this: do you think I'm cruel for wanting to pierce her ears at a young age?
Yes. Just because she won't remember pain doesn't mean she won't experience any. Imagine nursing afterwards - lying on a newly pierced ear hurts. So its not just the initial piercing causing pain.
post #33 of 82
Originally Posted by Melly24 View Post
Yes. Just because she won't remember pain doesn't mean she won't experience any. Imagine nursing afterwards - lying on a newly pierced ear hurts. So its not just the initial piercing causing pain.
I don't think the OP is cruel. I can understand the allure to it. But your right that infants do feel pain even if they don't remember it.

To the OP: obviously you came here for advice and opinions because you were unsure. You were concerned enough to ask the questions needed to come to the right decision for you and your baby. So bravo to you for seeking out the answers. I'm glad to hear you've decided not to do it. I'm sure your daughter will be happy with your decision
post #34 of 82
Originally Posted by BabyWang2010 View Post
So I'm not going to do it.
OP, I applaud your decision, and I too hope you didn't feel attacked. As a 29 year old female who has never had or wanted pierced ears in my life, I am grateful to my parents that they left the decision up to me. I like my no-maintenance bare earlobes just the way they are!
post #35 of 82
I'm not into young piercings, but it's mostly for other reasons...just like with food, their immune systems are growing and can have a negative response to metals. I am allergic to metals that began after getting my ears pierced. I couldn't wear my wedding ring for two years afterwards. I can tolerate my wedding ring now if I never wear earrings and don't keep the ring on continuously. From my understanding, the younger the person, the greater chance of metals allergies. Just a heads up!
post #36 of 82
My DD's father is from a culture where ears are usually pierced as infants. Thank goodness he never really made it an issue. I'm all for DD deciding if and when she wants to do it. I think it is not right to assume that because a child is a girl that she will want to have pierced ears. I know pierced ears on girls/women is a majority thing. But it should still be their choice. TBH, I kinda find earrings on an infant overdone. It's like they are so amazingly beautiful as is, that the earrings just seem like way too much. Kinda like an adult wearing all of our jewelry at once. But that's just my opinion.

When DD was about 6 months old we were in an airport, I was wearing her in a brightly colored but gender neutral wrap, and she was wearing a purple outfit. I stopped at a kiosk to get a something to drink and the guy in line behind me started a conversation about "What a handsome little guy" I had. I gently informed him that the little guy was a little girl. So he replied, "But she looks like a guy." I responded that since I had just completed a diaper change within the last hour that DD was Definitely a girl. I was annoyed. But part of me thought that he was just trying to be annoying. DD has always had a feminine look as far as my biased judgement can tell. DD is 2 now, and that is the only time I have ever had anyone think that she was a he. I can live with that.

eta: I had some of the same ethnic concerns also. But as it turns out, no one has ever wondered if I was DD's mother.
post #37 of 82
Moved to Parenting from I'm Pregnant.
post #38 of 82
I had mine done at 10y and my second holes at 12y. If I had a daughter I would wait until she asked about them...maybe she would never ask about wanting them. I would not do a baby's especially for the reason of wanting people to know she is a girl (put a headband bow on her...or don't do gender neutral colours) jmo. Oh yeah and if you are sensitive to comments....then be prepared for "oh my, why did you pierce her ears? She's just a baby"
post #39 of 82
Since you're concerned about people mistaking her for a boy maybe you should dress her in head-to-toe boy clothes. That's a sure fire way to get people to comment on your cute little girl!
post #40 of 82
I wouldn't get them pierced as an infant. First off how are you considering getting it done? With the gun at some mall jewelry place? Those guns can not be autoclaved and as such are not sterile. No way would I ever get pierced with one. She can get her ears pierced when she is old enough to decide and mature enough to care for them during healing. My daughter just got hers done at the age of 20 at a professional piercing studio with sterile equipment.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Pierced Ears