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Pierced Ears - Page 3

post #41 of 82
Pierced ears are a chocking hazard and they can get easily infected. I think you should wait until your child is old enough to decide for herself. My dd was sure she wanted pierced ears when she was six. She thought about it for a year and decided for sure that she wanted to do it even though it hurt. It is annoying when people mistake your child for a different gender, but that is the least annoying thing that is going to happen to you as a parent. Practice your deep breathes now, or whatever else you do to keep calm when annoyed by people questioning you, because you will need them while you face a steady stream of criticism from strangers and family in the first few years as they try to give you the knowledge they believe you need to be a good parent. You will most likely learn to develop a thick skin quickly as a parent. I don't think that wanting to not have to worry about a stranger thinking your child is a boy is a good reason to poke holes in your child and risk infections in a newborn with very little immunity to infections and diseases in general. I think that whatever decision you make is fine for your family, but it won't stop people from questioning your to your face. It may even make it worse if you live somewhere where piercing babies ears isn't common.
post #42 of 82
I have five daughters and only one has her ears pierced. Dh and I felt that it should be her choice (since it is her body). When our dd begged for over a year to get her ears pierced, we said that she could. She was 4.5 years old and didn't flinch a bit when she got them done. She's almost 8 now and loves having pierced ears. I'm glad we let our daughters choose for themselves. My oldest is almost 10 and she doesn't want pierced ears. I like that she can change her mind if she wants rather than having to live with a cosmetic alteration of her body chosen by her parents.
post #43 of 82
I'm not against it but if we have a girl not sure I will do it till she is older for the reason it was a big deal for me to get mine done at 6. But if it strikes me to do it when she is a baby then I will have it done.
post #44 of 82
I am of the mind to let the child choose if they want it, but I have heard that some doctors will do it safely for infants if you want it done, (I do not have personal experience on this, but maybe you could ask if you are interested.) My daughter started asking at five, I allowed it at six. She just got her second ear piercings done yesterday at age ten and a half.
post #45 of 82
It's a personal thing for me. I have multiple piercings and tattoos, but I want ALL my kids to be able to choose any cosmetic alterations to their bodies.
I've been around a lot of hispanic and Italian families who do it basically at birth. It doesn't seem to cause any problems. If I was determined to have it done, I would do it before she was big enough to pull on them.
We're waiting until she is old enough to want it done and care for them herself. I had a couple people compliment me on my handsome boy. It's annoying, but if they're dumb enough to not notice the purple ruffles, I'm not going to modify MY baby, so they won't be confused.
Congrats though, girls are SO much fun!
post #46 of 82
OP, you've had a lot of posts about the pros and cons of piercing an infant's ears, so I don't really want to get into that debate. I mean this as gently as possible - I would ask you to examine closely your motivations and reactions and solutions to a perceived problem.

YOU are easily offended, so your first reaction is to permanently alter YOUR DAUGHTER'S appearance.

I want my children to love their bodies and accept their appearance. Changing their appearance, on the basis of what other people say or think, is just not something I want them to do EVER - so why would I start doing it TO them as infants?

Again, meaning this gently, perhaps if you have a problem, you should look within first for the solution.

People are going to say silly, rude, insensitive, nosy, bossy, provocative, outrageous, embarrassing things to you - especially about parenting and about your children. You can't really control what they say or do. You can only control your own emotions and reactions. You can let it bother you - or you can ignore it if it's silly/inapplicable/irrelevant, or even accept it, if there's some truth and it's actually helpful.

Looking to change your child, before you try to change yourself, is possibly not the best solution.

Congratulations on your baby girl. I'm sure she will be beautiful.
post #47 of 82
My dd does not have piercings and won't for a while. Besides my desire to not add work for myself, I saw a little girl's earring ripped out of her ear while rough housing. I don't want my dd to worry about her jewelry while she plays.

I also have an adult friend whose earrings are now noticeably off-center because of the way her ears grew.
post #48 of 82
Never. Or more like, has to wait to turn 18.
Maybe, if they can argue their case very, very good when they're like 16 or summat. And also, can pay for it, and take full responsibility. And understand the risks.
My oldest girl doesn't have her ears pierced. Neither do I now, I used to have several piercings, but some years later I developed nickel allergy. My mom and grandmom also has it, so my girls are very likely to get it also. And I explained that to my oldest, and she didn't want piercings then.
And it's hard to come by nickel-free stuff, that's actually nickel free. Even surgical steel who's supposedly nickel-free has 12% nickel. Lots of "nickel-free" juwelry has nickel in it.
I would never, ever pierce a baby. I don't even see the point. It's painful, risky, and the kid might not want it at all. But just the thought of putting the baby through a painful experience like that while "holding them down", and altering their body, is just discusting to me.
The earlier you pierce a child's ears, the higher is the risk of getting a nickel allergy (and for someone that alters their life, can't touch coins, buttons, door knobs etc.).
Infection risk, imagine a toddler in a sandbox, kids can not keep their hands away from their ears. And other kids are also very prone to touch their pierced ears. They should be old enough to be able to leave them alone and understand the risk.
And also old enough to take care of them on their own, piercings do take some care.
You can also mess with acupuncture points, they are not fully developed until much later.
And, if or when you decide to, take them to a piercing studio who actually knows what they are doing. And use clean, one time-needles for each customer. Hairdressers use the guns, and don't even disinfect them between customers. And they are, after all, hairdressers.
Piercing studios have age limits to piercings, for very good reasons. Ear piercings often have a 16 yo. age limit, some have lower (like 12) though, and that is with the consent of a parent. 18 without, and for all other piercings. They do know what they are doing.
post #49 of 82
Originally Posted by Lucy Alden View Post
Since you're concerned about people mistaking her for a boy maybe you should dress her in head-to-toe boy clothes. That's a sure fire way to get people to comment on your cute little girl!
Yes this!!!

My DS is *constantly* mistaken for a girl. And I can't go out with DD without hearing what a cute baby boy I have. If this is the sort of mistake that offends you, you are going to spend the next five years sandbagged by outrage fatigue.
post #50 of 82
Originally Posted by outlier View Post
OP, I applaud your decision, and I too hope you didn't feel attacked. As a 29 year old female who has never had or wanted pierced ears in my life, I am grateful to my parents that they left the decision up to me. I like my no-maintenance bare earlobes just the way they are!
YES! I am another non-pierced person. I am glad it is my decision to make.
post #51 of 82
i have not read all the answers.

the answer here is not simple.

it is a cultural answer.

i see nothing wrong in it. i would have done so with my dd as in my culture it is not seen as piercing. however my ex is from here and his mom wanted me to wait so out of respect i waited for my mil and did it when dd asked for it when she was what 4 or 5.

so i feel this is a total personal choice issue.
post #52 of 82
This thread is closed pending moderator review. It will probably not be reopened until later tonight. Please be patient and do not start a new thread.
post #53 of 82
I will be reopening this thread in a bit, but would like to share some guidelines.

I have removed all threads comparing ear piercing to circumcision. If you would like to discuss circumcision as it pertains to other forms of body modification, you are welcome to do so in the Circumcision forum. But we have decided that in general discussions, such as this one, we're not going to host comparisons between a hole in the ear lobe and the removal of sensitive sexual tissue. If you need further clarification on this point, please feel free to PM me, as per the UA. Please do NOT discuss it further on this thread.

Secondly, I would ask you to please keep in mind that MDC has a diverse membership. Ear piercing not only has health and parenting issues, but cultural issues as well. From the User Agreement:
MDC serves an online community of parents, families, and parent, child and family advocates considering, learning, practicing, and advocating attachment parenting and natural family living. Our discussions concern the real world of mothering and are first and foremost, for support, information, and community. Mothering invites you to read and participate in the discussions. In doing so we ask that you agree to respect and uphold the integrity of this community. Through your direct or indirect participation here you agree to make a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere for our guests and members. Please avoid negative characterizations and generalizations about others to respect the diversity of our online community.
To that end, please refrain from making negative comments about others' cultures.

Again, feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns.
post #54 of 82
My is that I am a fairly serious body mod sorta person and I'm not piercing my daughter. She can do it when she is old enough to take responsibility for it. I'm hecka lazy and creating a wound that I would have to clean just strikes me as an awful lot of work.
post #55 of 82
I see it as purely a cultural issue.

My father took an anthropology course where the professor specialized in the ways people modify their bodies. So my father opposed any form of body "mutilation". When my sister and I asked to pierce our ears, he'd compare it to a nose piercing.

If we wanted our ears pierced, we had to pay for it ourselves.

My sister finally did get her ears pierced when she was about 12 or so. She soon discovered she had metal allergies, and ended up letting the ears close up. I don't think her ears are pierced anymore, though I could be wrong, She is, however, tattooed.

I finally decided, at about 30 years old, to pierce my ears. In part because I wanted to. In part because it is so very mainstream in modern U.S. culture. In part to symbolize a break from my parents hangups.

I won't pierce my (hypothetical) little girl's ears before she asks for it. But I will consider going with her at some point if/when she really wants to. To me, it seems to be appropriate around puberty, if she wants it.
post #56 of 82
Originally Posted by jocelyndale View Post
A reputable piercer with clean equipment will not modify the body of an infant.
Yes, with parental consent, they will. And having many "holes" myself, I would MUCH rather have someone other than a 15 year old welding a gun piercing me or mine. Ears on out. The thought of a Claires "trained" teen poking holes in my child's body makes me shudder.


There are plenty of threads about this here. If you get them done at a shop that pierces infants, they'll use the gun. A gun can cause scar tissue. It can also pierce at an angle, or the two holes can be at different spots on the ears. It might have to be corrected later. It can cause infection.

Again, don't leave it to 15 year olds at the mall.]

Originally Posted by 7swans View Post

Also, as some PPs have mentioned, a needle is much better than a piercing gun. You can find a pretty informative article here: http://tattoo.about.com/cs/psafety/a/piercing_guns.htm
Thank you.

Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post
Pierced ears are a chocking hazard ( HUH??) and they can get easily infected ( Again - HUH???). I think you should wait until your child is old enough to decide for herself. (Or HIMself). Just saying.
Originally Posted by Mamja View Post
YES! I am another non-pierced person. I am glad it is my decision to make.
Another POV to consider.
post #57 of 82
Originally Posted by MomOnDaEdge View Post
Yes, with parental consent, they will..
No, many of them will not. Actually, none that I know of will do that here. Piercing studioes have age limits, and many have as high as 16 even for ear piercings with parental consent. Some have as low as 12. But none under that here.
post #58 of 82
I would not pierce my daughter's ears without her consent. It's not a choice I would make for my child.
post #59 of 82
Originally Posted by LittleLegos View Post
I wanted to respond and let you know even if your baby is dressed in pink from head to toe, people may still admired your "little boy." It's just the way some people are.
Originally Posted by rootzdawta View Post
And trust me . . . people confuse baby sex all the time. My sons could be dressed head to toe in boy clothes that say, "Daddy's All-Time Slugger" or something super boyish and people will still say, "Oh, what cute little girls". Huh? I don't think it's anything to get offended about. I just gently correct them and say that they are boys.
Absolutely true!

It is one of other things that amazed me after our DS was born. He looked very boy-ish and is the spitting image of his father. He would be dressed in minature versions of his father's clothing and people would make comments about what a cute little girl he was. A close friend said the same (different gender) would happen to her. She has an absolutely stunning little girl, long flowing hair, super girly, all sparkels, bows and nail polish and people are constantly making comments about her "little boy."
post #60 of 82
I have two boys and up until recently with my 4 year old, people were constantly assuming they were girls. They still do with the younger fella. You might be surprised, it doesn't offend me, it really doesn't bother me. Half the time, I don't bother to correct them, it's not a biggie. It's usually some older person cooing over their cuteness.

I did get confused with the nanny once, in a very affluent neighbourhood, where everyone and their mother has one. That ticked me off. Although I do have a white friend with half Chinese boys, the oldest is a dead ringer for her, the youngest is exactly his father. She hasn't gotten any adoption comments, the father on the other hand has gotten comments.

Anyhow, my point is, that you will probably get a much thicker skin as you have your little one, you're so busy and so engrossed with them, not sweating the small stuff will probably come a lot more naturally. Especially by the time number 2 rolls around.
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