do you ever think -- "Oh! Lots of people have a home birth!" - Page 2

[SeekingJoy]

Love it!

I wish I was a bit more sheltered from the real world honestly. DH came home from work this week and told me all about his co-workers updates on CIO-ing of her 4 month old and her giving the baby rice cereal in the bottle. Just as sad, his co-workers are constantly mystified at why he wants to spend so much time with his kids, why he *gasp* actually plays with his kids, and why I would want to stay home with them.

[laughingfox]

Originally Posted by velveeta

But seriously, all things considered, outsiders would never, ever know the "real" me. I don't dress like a hippie or anything. People assume our family is pretty conservative.

I was actually talking to my husband about the whole "but you don't look like a hippie.." thing this morning.
Of course I'm coming at from the other end of the spectrum: I'm somewhat heavily tattooed (I don't consider myself to be that heavily tattooed, but everyone else does), I wear big black boots, and I occasionally dye my hair hot pink.

[SilverFish]

i find that i'm constantly reminded of how odd i am. i mean, i do all the research and from everything that's available online and in books, you'd really think that no one would be unaware that homebirth was a good option. and yet i know absolutely no one other than my mom who's had a homebirth. even all the ladies in my birthing class with my midwife group are either going to the hospital or the birth centre. i have a close group of vegan friends too (through a forum) and in our mothers group, maybe 2 or 3 of about 50 have birthed or are planning to birth at home. i guess i somehow expect vegans to be good at doing research into alternatives to mainstream practices... but it seems like all of their birth stories include the phrase "and then the doctor told me that if we didn't do X, the baby would die!" and a really shocking number of them end up with highly medicalized births and c/sections.

[artgoddess]

yes and no. I think that yes, lots of people do have a home birth. Just not so nearly as many that have hospital births. I think that when it comes to parenting differences those of us who have friends that support even our differences can count ourselves lucky. I am by far the weirdo in my group of friends, but the others respect those differences and I respect theirs. Moms got to stick together and up for each other, right?

[Belle]

Originally Posted by velveeta

I had I moment of "weirdo epiphany" when my midwife's assistant squirmed when I told her of my placentaphagic plans! You mean a *homebirth midwife* finds me to be extreme? Oh, dear!

My midwive's apprentice talked with me ahead of time about eating placenta in case of hemmorhage. I'd planned on drying it anyway. In retrospect I should have just eaten the thing. It was too much work to prepare it. The only reason I dried and encapsulated it was that it grossed out my dh.

[zannster]

I don't know many people who have had a homebirth (or at least I didn't until I started researching it). Most of my friends here are sort of in the middle of the spectrum - as in they did some things that are considered crunchy but scoffed at others. Most had hospital births.

I guess since nursing was more of a regular thing for me (having not had a HB yet), that's where I tend to expect more participation. I'm surprised at the number of people who don't even try nursing or wean early. I personally get a kick out of the reactions when I tell people I nursed DS until he was four years old.

[honeybee]

I'm blessed to be part of a large np group... the homebirthers definitely outnumber the hospital-only birthers right now, I believe. And more people just keep crossing over.

[bjorker]

Yes, actually - though I hadn't thought too much of it. I've had... (thinking) at least 4 friends birth in the last year, and all 4 were homebirths. No wait. I did forget a 5th who had a c-section in the hospital, doh. So, yeah, she was the odd one out. The same 4 of 5 are extended breastfeeders, cloth diaper-ers, the whole 9 yards.

It's nice having like-minded friends, I definitely feel supported. I'm still on the defense occasionally from family, but they've rather surprisingly been pretty quiet about my choice to homebirth, so far. My aunt asked me what colour the nursery was going to be and when we were going to find out the sex. I had to find a way to tactfully tell her that there is no nursery, the baby sleeps with us, and I'm not going to find out the sex. So occasionally I get brought back to the mainstream reality, heh.

I do still like knowing people that have made different choices. It doesn't bother me if it's thought out and based on real information, or even just one's own comfort level. Choices out of ignorance is what bothers me.

[bjorker]

Originally Posted by bjorker

Yes, actually - though I hadn't thought too much of it. I've had... (thinking) at least 4 friends birth in the last year, and all 4 were homebirths. No wait. I did forget a 5th who had a c-section in the hospital, doh.

Argh, I forgot a 6th, who had her baby in a birth center.
I can't keep up with all these babies!

[GoldmanBaby09]

I have been very lucky to find a nice group of like minded, homebirthing mamas in the last year. My midwife is pretty much the only experienced mw in my area and she is a very busy lady. I know there has to be more moms out there. It is a matter of finding them. Things are so underground here. I'm trying to encourage my midwife to make a fan page on facebook for her midwifery practice. That way her moms would have a way of finding each other.

[prancie]

I forget that other people don't sleep with their babies/toddlers. I still sleep with ds and will cosleep with both kids when new one comes along. I hear people talk about cribs and I'm like, why would they do that? I tell people I sleep with ds when I get the opportunity. Some people are uncomfy about it, but I met another girl who co-sleeps with her ds too! I don't think she would have told me had I not mentioned it.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by laughymama

I think I surround myself and my husband with so much literature and information about homebirth that I forget that around our area, it's practically unheard of. I'm always caught off guard when someone seems surprised so I have to think, "Oh yeah, not everyone is like me..." Reality check. I think it's because I come to MDC so much as well...so I just kind of forget it's not the norm for most people in my area.
.

No kidding! At my baby shower I told someone I was doing a hb and she said "Oh my gosh, isn't that dangerous?" It really took me by suprise. I guess I'd given myself so much time to absorb the info, I didn't realize it would still be "shocking" to someone else.

[tygrss]

Well, even though I live in DFW, TX which has a ton of MW's, FSBCs and Homebirthers I never forget that I'm the odd one out. I'm a physician and hear people look down upon anyone who doesn't do pregnancy/birth/childrearing in the "traditional," medicalized way all the time. Everyone thought that I was insane two years ago to have DS1 at a FSBC. I told them that I was going natural again this time (which they found crazy), but only mentioned the homebirth to a couple of people.
It's even crazy how many of my coworkers find extended BFing odd (we're all physicians in different pediatric subspecialties!).

Thankfully, I like to arm myself with facts so it's easy to shut down ignorance.

[Sunshinesmiles22]

So funny this topic came up. I was just thinking the other day how times have changed. I grew up thinking i was the odd ball out and how "normal" people did things.


Now I honestly think that I'm doing it the normal way and those who hospital birth are strange. Maybe I'm missing out on the cues, but I don't think people are shocked. I get the "wow, you better have the hospital on standby" bit a lot now that I'm 35 or 36 weeks along. I just tell them that we have our babies at home, so there's no need to worry. If I get the "that's brave" or "good luck", I just tell them that it's not luck I need, since this is the way it's been working for a long time. Maybe since I don't apologize or act embarrassed (this second time around, at least!!) people really seem to listen and not blow me off.

Sort of like the breastfeeding thing. I've rarely even been spoken to about bf'ing in public, but when i get a look, I just smile and say, "it's okay, that's what they're for" and the people almost relax..

So, to answer the op, i guess not everyone does it, but I think it's normal and a lot of other people are beginning to think so, too (ime).