"Where is the hat?" (vent) - Page 3

[Geist]

My DH is American and people at my parent's village were talking about us cause he went to Christmas mass in a t-shirt and crocks while we had a wintersnowstorm going on outside.

He must have blood like molasses. I have a friend who grew up in Maine and he is always in shorts. If it gets really cold, like say 20F, he might put on pants. But other than that, he always wears shorts.

[Bellabaz]

I hear ya. I live in France and have Italian in-laws. Both cultures coer babies up to the extreme in my opinion plus act like taking them out in the cold is a death sentence. I have gotten passive aggressive comments and weird looks when I take dd2 out in a light fleece coverall. This week has been between 6-14 degrees celcius. I actually was walking the other day with short sleeves. I wear dd2 all the time when out so we get warm. There I am walknig with short sleeves, dd1 in just a ls shirt and dd2 in the fleec jumper in a wrap when we pass a baby in a stroller still in a snowsuit suitable for below 0 weather. Looks at me like I am nuts. I do the same. Whatever.

[Bellabaz]

Originally Posted by mommy2maya

Cold enough for snow=cold enough that hat and mittens/gloves are necessary.

Sorry I have to disagree with this. Sometimes it is true yes. But have you ever been out and it seems like the snow starts and its actually a bit warmer than before. I have taken my own gloves and hat off int he snow (light flurries not blizzard) because I have gotten warm. Especially walking around with big boots on and stuff. My dd1 is definitely like me and gets warm fast and will take her own hat and gloves off if she wants.

"because sweating is considered unhealthy and dangerous here"

So true! My italian FIL freaks out if he gets sweaty. DH is always telling me how when he was young (and not so young) he was forced to wear an undershirt all year round and always had to have talcom powder on him after bath or shower. Also hair must always be blown dry, even in summer. We were in Italy this xmas by the sea and it was 15C. Dd1 and us all had our coats off and were running aorund the playground. There was a little Italian boy near us with heavy winter gear on and he took his hat off. His grandmother coming running over yelling " Put your hat on put your hat on!! C'e vento (theres wind)!" LOL

I guess if I lived by the sea all the time that might feel cold to me. But we just moved here from living in a place where it snowed from October to May so 15C is almost summer to me.

[lolar2]

So those of you who are German, you're on MDC so I take it you follow gentle discipline principles. How DO you keep a hat on a hot, itchy, uncomfortable, protesting child without resorting to spanking or force? Is there a secret method?

[mommy2maya]

I'm not German, but manage to keep a hat on my kids without having to resort to any spanking or force. I just use diversion for babies, and tell my older kids that it is not an option to take it off, and they just don't take it off. Of course my kids have always just worn their hat no fuss once they have gotten past the infant stage of ripping it off. Even in the infant stage, if they are distracted from the hat, they typically end up leaving it alone. If not, I just keep putting it back on. My babies don't typically get a full head of hair til they are 3, so a hat in cold weather is necessary

[Geist]

How DO you keep a hat on a hot, itchy, uncomfortable, protesting child without resorting to spanking or force? Is there a secret method?

I think that the babies wear hats from day one, so they really don't know anything else.
Either that or superglue.

[nia82]

@ lolar: DS doesn't mind a hat. He will take it off if he feels it is too warm for it, which is usually around 65 Fahrenheit, below he will not take it off ever. I don't have any itchy hats though, I always make sure they have a nice cotton inner or are otherwise comfy (Gymboree, Janie and Jack and homemade are usually perfect). DS also doesn't take his mittens off, he appreciates them. A couple of times he touched snow and screamed bloody murder, he hates it. He's happy to wear mittens so he can play in the snow. No discipline needed here

And when it's warm at least in my family babies don't wear hats... Never saw it! It's all about winter time, snow and icy wind chills. And my DS did wear a hat in the very beginning inside per American ped order - he was tiny and unable to keep his temperature up until he was 3 weeks old.

[MissE]

I again have to agree with Nia. DS is 3 and he will ask for a hat when it's kinda windy outside. DD did pull it off a few times but when she felt her ears go cold she didn't mind the hat anymore.

They both also would not keep their mittens on but when they played in the snow and their fingers got red and cold and they felt that it wasn't so cold with the mittens on they wanted them on.

I'm glad though that we're in TX where we usually don't need mittens (but hats every now and then). I must admit that - as nice as snow is - getting the kids dressed to go outside is a pain in the rear.

[expecting-joy]

Originally Posted by Kirsten

Honestly, I agree with him. But I would have just thought it instead of saying it out loud.


100% agreed. I admit that I would (silently) judge a mom who had kids out in snow without hats/gloves/coats. But no vaxxing is fine with me!

Bottom line is that each of us gets to decide how to parent. I think if we go "against the grain", we shouldn't be surprised to hear comments though. I had a homebirth, and lots of people had comments about that.

Meh. I have two kids. One doesn't get cold. Unless we're out in the weather for a long time, I don't make her wear much. She'll sweat to death and then be clammy. I'll let her out in light pants or a short skirt with tights, a shirt and a fleece jacket in the dead of winter. Now if we're playing in the snow, she'll wear waterproof pants, jacket and gloves and maybe a hat.

My other child wears lots of layers. She gets cold. She puts on hat and mittens, tights, warm pants, a shirt, a sweater, a fleece, a parka, a scarf - but that's what she needs.

Me. I wear summer clothes most of the winter. I run hot. I'll put on mittens and a hat to shovel snow, but not to go to the store or walk to the mailbox.

[skreader]

A friend and I used to call it "The Granny Police", because it was usually granny-aged ladies (total strangers) who would tell us that our babies were too young to be out, or the wind was too cold.

So, sometimes we would bundle the kids up a bit more than we thought aboslutely necessary, because we wanted to avoid the hassle. So, in terms of enforcing cultural norms, it worked.

It didn't really bother me though, because as I see it, it's one of the sides of "community". The old saw, "it takes a village to raise a child" - that means your fellow villagers will sometimes call you on things when they think you're not doing right by your child, and will sometimes tell your kids to do what they think is right when you're not around. So, yeah, I got told to bring my newborn out of the wind. I also sometimes tell my neighbor kids not to do something in our communal playground that will lead to injury ot breakage.

I also sometimes tell my godchild's mother when I think she's bundling up my godson too much.

I lived in a tight neighborhood from the time I was 5 until I was 11, then I moved to a very small town, where I lived until I went away to college. It was such a small town that the weekend I decided to bob my hair, that was one of the big pieces of news for that Friday and Saturday night. By Monday at school, people came up to me and said "Oh, I heard you cut your hair!"

Community is wonderful, but it doesn't come for free. People will talk and notice and comment. Sometimes it will infuriate, and other times it will amuse.

[karika]

you are doing what is right for you and your children. the man was rude. I guess if it were me I may say, "my children do not like hats and will not keep them on, and since they are very healthy, I respect their right to make that decision." or "They don't like hats and it isn't very cold. They are hot blooded like me (or their daddy)." ok I would be too chicken... but I do feel that way. I let my children decide what is right for them in many ways and have a 'just in case' bag of sweaters and hats. this lets them learn through natural consequences. I used to always get comments about dd1 being shoeless as a baby. she wasn't gonna get down and walk but people felt the need to tell me she should be wearing shoes. and it wasn't cold. but I realized they were from the era of the depression and they were living out their own feelings of not having enough as children. to them, shoes were very important probably because when they were 3 or 8 they didn't have any shoes. I just try hard to have empathy and continue to do what is advantageous for the advancement of the human species, pausing when possible to explain it to others that want to hear.

[karika]

a picture I remembered

I posted w/o reading the thread last night. After reading some other people's perceptions I want to add something I remembered. It was in a Life or similar magazine. A picture of Inuits on their annual seal hunt. They were standing on an iceberg type thing. The adults were wearing parkas lined with fur. (no hats tho hehe) The sun was shining strong. In the foreground there was a young Inuit boy wearing only a diaper looking thing on his midsection, also made of seal and having fur poking out, and moccasins. He didn't even have a shirt on. Cold is really an individual thing (and I do believe bloodlines and where they were born and raised has bearing) and I believe the children should be respected if they do not wish to wear too many clothes. Would you question an adult for not wanting to wear a hat? Maybe some of us that are 'mother' types would, but if they say no would you fight with them about it? It is their body and they know how they feel. As a parent, you can have a bag with 'just in case' clothes if they decide they indeed do wish a hat or coat. My daughter and I both go barefoot in our backyard as soon as possible. We like to be barefoot...

[Honey693]

I think it's weird too. My DD is always really warm and coat, hat, gloves and boots when it's warmer than about 15 F outside turns her into a red sweaty mess.