What's a normal healthy milestone "window"?

[Bena]

My nephew is turning one this week, and I'm beginning to be a little concerned about him. But no one else in the family seems to be, so I'm wondering if it's just me who has a misconception about what a baby his age should be able to do.
He has just started sitting on his own before Christmas (so when he was about 9-10 months old), but he still falls sometimes when sitting and can't seem to get himself back in a sitting position. He obviously doesn't crawl, but he's not even showing any interest in trying; when on his front, he doesn't push up on his arms and legs to get on all fours. He can stand on his legs if you hold him up, but you are doing all the work, really. I do believe my 4 month old is about as strong right now in her legs.
His mom laughs that he's just "lazy", but what sorta got me thinking is at dinner this week, she was talking about her friend's 9 month old boy who is "very advanced because he can already crawl".
I didn't say anything, but all of my friends's babies (and that is several, we're in a real baby boom!) could crawl by 9-10 months. And by 12 months were at least standing up while holding on to furniture, and even taking a few steps. Are they all advanced? Is he still in what is considered a normal window? I was so shocked last week when I realised my friend's 7 month old has more physical skills than my nephew, and by a lot!

I'm wondering if I should mention any of this. Like I said, I seem to be the only one concerned about him (though I'm aware maybe everyone else may not be expressing concerns, like I am) All this could be completely normal, but if it's not, I would hate to see him loose any help he could get very early on.

[Pandme]

I do believe Early Intervention considers it concerning when a child is not crawling by 12 months.

[eclipse]

Well, my dd started crawling ON her 1st birthday, and was nowhere near standing up holding on to things yet. She was a later roller, sitter, walker too. Anyhow, she was just on the late side and eventually did fine without any intervention (although she has two left feet, even at 6 and a half!). However, I'd be a concerned that he isn't making an effort to get around.

[Llyra]

The "red flags" that EI uses here are a child who doesn't sit unsupported at 8 months, a child who won't bear his own weight on his legs at 10 months, and a child that hasn't achieved some form of mobility, whether it be crawling, scooting, belly crawling, walking, cruising, etc., by 12 months old, and a child who isn't walking at 18 months.

So I agree-- I think if the child you describe was my own, I'd be pushing for an evaluation. It may be he's just fine, and running on his own timetable, but there may be issues that a good physical therapist could do a lot to help with. Babies who don't achieve mobility are missing out on a whole range of experiences and opportunities to explore their own environment, and the lack of those experiences can slow their cognitive development down.

You can ask a pediatrician or a WIC office or any good preschool for the Early Intervention brochure for your state, if you're in the US, and that's a good objective way of approaching the issue with the child's parents. You can also find it on the internet if you google your state and EI.

[Everrgreen]

It always makes me wonder when I hear stories like this and the parents don't seem concerned. My 12 month old is doing A LOT more than that and I still worry about EVERYTHING. Maybe I worry more than most first time moms, I don't know. If my DS was only doing the things you described I would definitely be worried and be doing something about it!

I had a similar issue with my nephew, except his delay was in speaking. My DH and I were very worried about him and yet his mom didn't seem concerned at all (it was my DH's sister, and he tried to talk to her but she wouldn't listen). It went on until the year before he started kindergarten and it was still impossible to understand what he was saying, they finally had him tested and he turned out to be completely deaf in one ear. He started speech therapy but it was too late to really prepare him for kindergarten and he has had a very difficult time (the other kids don't understand him). This year he switched to a private school so he could have more individualized attention. I feel really bad for him and I believe it didn't have to be like this for him

[Bena]

Thank you so much for your replies! I hadn't thought of EI website as a research tool. I checked it out and found a list of milestones and concern areas. It pretty much describes my nephew. Now I guess I need to find a way to express concern withouth seeming like I'm not minding my own business or criticising.
I've brought it up with DH, and he agrees that this baby doesn't seem as "solid" and physical as the other babies we know. He is right in pointing out that his parents (BIL and SIL) are not very physical people (they are more the computer geek and bookworm type...their definition of exercices is a stroll around the block), which I'm sure does have something to do with their son's developpement, but still, I would hate to see him loose on EI if he could benefit from it!


Ironically, several months ago, I had a conversation with a good friend about the importance of letting babies reach their milestones when they were good and ready, and how there was no point in worrying about a child who was a little behind, every thing would work out in the end. (I think we were venting about people who brag about their children reaching milesontes super early).
Anyways...well, I guess I now have changed my mind!

[koalove]

i didnt read through the responses but it sounds EXACTLY lie my friends child, who was later diagnoed with cerebral palsey. and strangely, nobody but me noticed it. i went online and looked up how to test for it, and did the little tests while we were playing together with our kids. theres a lot that can be done with early intervention.

[Bokonon]

If he's turning 1, he'll probably be seeing his pediatrician soon for a WBV, right? The ped. will ask about locomotion and likely refer them for an evaluation with the lack of movement you are describing.

His parents might already have concerns that he's delayed and are in denial or just don't want to talk about it. It's really hard when younger babies, or even those the same age, are doing more than your own, and being reminded of that is rough. Could you gently ask the parents what their ped. says about the baby's lack of crawling?

[sapphire_chan]

The really sad thing about them denying it is that they might be denying it because they think there's nothing to be done or that physical therapy would be too expensive or something. Pass on the info from the EI website (maybe give it to your mom if she'd be able to give it to them better) and mention that services are often free.

I hope your nephew can get help soon!

http://www.earlyinterventionsupport.com/ has milestones in the various areas of development by age, along with red flags for the areas for the given ages (look in the upper right corner when you're in the section for the age and skills you want to check)

(For instance, not righting himself is a red flag, http://www.earlyinterventionsupport....-12months.aspx)

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by Bena

He is right in pointing out that his parents (BIL and SIL) are not very physical people (they are more the computer geek and bookworm type...their definition of exercices is a stroll around the block), which I'm sure does have something to do with their son's developpement,

I'm a computer-worm type, and was w/ DD, too. She didn't sit until 8 months or walk until 15 months, but she was definitely doing more than your nephew is. I would urge them to check out EI. We actually did that w/ DD, not b/c she was "behind" per se in absolutes, but b/c it had been several months w/ no additional progress towards development.