3 wk old, Babywise, Formula Supplementation and my Sister

[Bethla]

My sister has been calling me, her 3 week old has been waking through the night every two hours...imagine that? And this is her second baby, she is not totally new to this all. She is nursing and then giving baby formula after nursing feeding to"help her sleep'. She had asked me if if I had read Babywise and I pretended to act like I wasn't completely shocked. She is trying to sleep train this little NEWBORN! Ugh! I just want to give her some solid information. Her difficulty nursing is no surprise as even before baby was born she had her doubts. She wants to start only nursing twice a day, rest of the day give formula and things her milk will stick around.

[elmh23]

I know the AAP has a thing out against BabyWise and Ezzo.

Did she BabyWise the first child?

[LadyCatherine185]

The Doctor's just did a segment on Babywise, there is a thread floating around LWAB about it. Yeah, there is no way she can nurse the baby twice a day and do formula the rest of the time. Her milk will dry up. In fact, just by what she is doing now with supplementing unnessicarily, she is compromising her supply.

Send her to www.kellymom.com for science based breastfeeding info. But, it sounds like BF'ing is not very important to her, if she only wants to nurse twice a day.

[tzs]

not to be snarky but isn't forcing your/our views on somebody else just as bad as when "they" do it to us?

if she's asking that's one thing, then send her the link to the drs show.
i'd leave the bf'ing alone. i wasn't sure if i was going to be able to bf my babe and i felt incredible guilt due to the pressure i felt from the bf'ing contingent. it ended up working out but it would have been nice to feel like i wouldn't have been a complete failure and horrible mother if i had to use or chose to use formula.

[ASusan]

The sister is calling (and complaining, it sounds like), so she therefore opens herself up to advice. She is soliciting the advice by calling; there is no forcing of views here.

At a minimum, OP can be empathetic. "Yes, it sounds like you are tired. Newborns don't sleep through the night, and need to nurse at least every two hours." If the OP lives nearby, why not stop over with a huge water bottle and a great meal to support the hungry breastfeeding mama and re-fill her ice cube trays. Take out the dirty diapers, fold a load of laundry and be sure to emphasize how a breastfeeding mama needs to be treated like a queen - that rest and good food are needed to keep up the supply. (or something like that). While she is there, she can misplace the BW book to deep under the king-sized bed or under the washing machine.

[Bokonon]

www.ezzo.info

[hakeber]

I have never read this book, but it sounds dangerous.

If my sister were calling me with stuff like that I would have to say something.

I'm not personally in the mindset that you must wake a newborn every 2 hours for feeding, nor do I think a new mom should be pressured to breastfeed if it isn't for her...Breast IS best, but not if it come at the price of the mother's sanity, or sense of wellbeing, and as much as advocates can prove that breastfeeding benefits the mother's psychological and physical sense of wellbeing, if the mom is not into it, it could damage her ability to bind with her baby in the long run.

But feeding schedules? Are any adults keeping themselves on a feeding schedule? And sleep training? Crying it out? I'm not even a fan of this for older kids, let alone a new born.

Suggest to her some other books to help babies sleep. I loved the happiest baby on the block. It's really clear and it makes sense from a biological point of view, too. I also loved their toddler version.

[Norasmomma]

Maybe she wants help, maybe she just wants to vent. I only say it like that because sometimes that just how people process the information. I'm only to offer how I personally would do things, but not put down what they are doing unless it's downright abuse. The sad thing with CIO and such is it is a somewhat mainstream idea that is fading away as more organizations(like the AAP) speak out about it being detrimental.

[Bethla]

We live 500 miles from each other. She is calling for advice/support. She values my input as I'm now expecting baby #4. I do not push my views on others, only try and lead them to information that they may otherwise have never seen. I emailed her the article from ezzo/info with the AAP article. I know how hard it is to breastfeed those first few months. I haven't known very many people that make it past that point because it is so challenging. It just seems like dr's are so quick to talk about formula supplementation rather than give people resources for breastfeeding support.

[Bethla]

Yes, she does everything with the older child on a schedule. If he's hungry at 4:45 well he must wait until 5:00 because that's the schedule.

[Norasmomma]

Originally Posted by Bethla

Yes, she does everything with the older child on a schedule. If he's hungry at 4:45 well he must wait until 5:00 because that's the schedule.

Oh how sad, I hate that, she'd freak if she saw my dysfunctional schedules. My friend is like that, she has always scheduled her kids, her oldest eats at noon, has a nap at 2 exactly. I'm just not that rigid.

[Kailey's mom]

I would just be honest with her, let her know about Ezzo's reputation, and how she will more than likely lose her milk supply. Take a non judgemental stance, just give her the facts *be careful not to have a sour tone kwim* Just state the facts, not opinions. Now if she asks about your opinion, than you can give her your honest opinion, and hopefully this is what happens!! This is where she may change her viewpoints. Good luck, I hope she asks for and takes your advice, and stops with the babywize garbage.

[lalemma]

Blech, what a difficult situation.

Could you maybe suggest another mainstream book that's a little less intense? I was flipping through a book called "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" at the library with great skepticism, but it (at least the parts I read!) turned out to be way less crazy than I was expecting. Maybe not right for me or my family, but the ladies writing the book, who seemed very pro-schedule, also come out and say that it's stupid to make a baby wait to eat just because "it isn't time", and seemed to go to great pains to point out that the idea of a baby schedule is just a way to organize your life, not a way to make the baby only eat a couple of times a day.

It might be easier for her to hear information that's relatively close to things she already believes to be true than to go all the way over into feeding on cue or something, you know?

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by tzs

not to be snarky but isn't forcing your/our views on somebody else just as bad as when "they" do it to us?

1. The sister called for advice.
2. Babywise isn't supported by "them". The AAP says it's a bad bad thing.
3. Her sister CALLED FOR HELP about a NEWBORN needing to eat every 2 hours.

[jess5377]

Originally Posted by Kailey's mom

I would just be honest with her, let her know about Ezzo's reputation, and how she will more than likely lose her milk supply. Take a non judgemental stance, just give her the facts *be careful not to have a sour tone kwim* Just state the facts, not opinions. Now if she asks about your opinion, than you can give her your honest opinion, and hopefully this is what happens!! This is where she may change her viewpoints. Good luck, I hope she asks for and takes your advice, and stops with the babywize garbage.

This sounds like sound advice. I'm also with the other posters who suggested suggesting other books. I'm reading Brazelton's Touchpoints right now and it's pretty good/balanced. Mind you, I haven't bothered reading past 4 months, so who knows....hah

[Bethla]

She was happy with the link I sent and glad I had researched it for her. Also, she is looking into a once a week mom's group (la leche league) near her home.

[sugarpop]

It sounds like she took what you had to say quite well! That is great! Some people just don't know, or don't research things for themselves. It is great that she has you to do the research for her and that she respects and listens to your thoughts. Her thoughts, babywise/supplementation/nursing 2x a day, were a bit unrealistic, it really is great though that she didn't sit quietly and continue but instead reached out and asked for help. She sounds like a great mom. Such a learning curve, some catch on quicker than others. Some research and others ask for opinions/advice. I have friends that don't want my opinions/advice and do it "their" way (including babywise). It is scary, I wish they wanted my thoughts!