(Cross-posted in my DDC)
So, here's my situation: I'm a first-time mom, 37, have always been (thankfully) pretty healthy and therefore have no experience with hospitals other than to visit sick people.
I had been planning to do this birth at a nearby hospital that is quite modern, has room-in births, and even sent me a nice brochure about the importance of skin-to-skin contact with newborns. They do have one labor relaxation tub, but it's luck of the draw whether I'd end up in that room (and they don't allow women to birth in the tub, only relax). I have been working with a CNM whom I really adore and both she and the doc in the practice are very pro-natural childbirth.
But I can't get over the feeling with them that 1) there is a procedure for everything and I must go along, and 2) that even if my midwife wants to do things my way, she will not have the authority to protect me from the onslaught of unnecessary interventions, tests, and extra people in a hospital setting. Also, I noticed that my very modern, pro-skin-to-skin hospital has a 32% c-section rate. The more I read about hospital protocols, the more creeped out I get.
Also, I should add at this point that I've wanted a water birth pretty much since I first heard of them as a teen. When I found out they don't let women birth in the labor tubs, I was really disappointed.
So, last week I interviewed a local homebirth midwife. Well, more accurately, THE local homebirth midwife. She's the only one within an hour drive or so. And she's fantastic. Great attitude, decades of experience, she trained the other midwife (the one an hour away), and delivered her babies. She really seemed like she had the experience that would allow me to relax and trust her, and she's very crunchy. And I've asked around, and people rave about her -- she's quite beloved in the crunchy community.
She's an LM (licensed midwife, not a CNM), so her training is just this -- she's not a nurse. She's even more anti-intervention than I am, for example, preferring a fetoscope to Doppler, gives no shots at birth (except maybe pitocin to the mom only if necessary), she keeps a list of local pediatricians who are mellow about delayed vaccination schedules. She only advocates for an ultrasound if the baby is past duedate, but I told her I plan to have the 20-week scan done, and she was very fine with that too. She said she offers a GTT, but immediately told me I can waive it (I will) and said how if someone has gestational diabetes there are other signs to look for first.
I asked if she would attend a waterbirth, and she said yes, but was quick to admit that with first-time moms she prefers to have them get out of the tub to push. She said this is because of sometimes needing her to manually help the head get past the cervix and also to help prevent tearing (meaning, she does things to help prevent and she can't do them when you're in the water). But she told me if it was really important to me to birth in the water, she'd work with me and see what we can do.
She told me she attends around 30 births per year, and has typically one hospital referral. Almost without exception, her referrals are first-time moms who experience "failure to progress," which she assured me was more exhaustion than a fixed number of hours. If there is need for a referral, she calls the two closest local hospitals to see who is on-call and then chooses where to go. There is no other midwife to back her up (though she has a couple students), and no doctor backup except the hospital on-call OB.
Also, insurance won't likely cover very much, but I figure what was the point of that career I delayed babies for if I can't just pay for the birth I want. So that is not really a factor in this decision.
So, I figure in the best case scenario, the LM is worlds better, as I give birth at home, and maybe in the water, and at least get to labor in the water. And I can relax and not worry about defending myself against interventions. But, in the worst-case, I'd get sent to some random OB at the hospital and all my choosiness would be for naught.
Oh, and while I know it's my decision, I'm very happy that my closest advisors are all very supportive. DH is 100% with me on this. A dear friend (who is not crunchy at all) thought it made perfect sense to birth at home. And BOTH my parents told me they thought it was a reasonable choice.
So, any advice? I'm not super familiar with the LM certification -- any thoughts? Homebirthers: does she sound good to you? Any other questions I need to ask either midwife?
So, here's my situation: I'm a first-time mom, 37, have always been (thankfully) pretty healthy and therefore have no experience with hospitals other than to visit sick people.
I had been planning to do this birth at a nearby hospital that is quite modern, has room-in births, and even sent me a nice brochure about the importance of skin-to-skin contact with newborns. They do have one labor relaxation tub, but it's luck of the draw whether I'd end up in that room (and they don't allow women to birth in the tub, only relax). I have been working with a CNM whom I really adore and both she and the doc in the practice are very pro-natural childbirth.
But I can't get over the feeling with them that 1) there is a procedure for everything and I must go along, and 2) that even if my midwife wants to do things my way, she will not have the authority to protect me from the onslaught of unnecessary interventions, tests, and extra people in a hospital setting. Also, I noticed that my very modern, pro-skin-to-skin hospital has a 32% c-section rate. The more I read about hospital protocols, the more creeped out I get.
Also, I should add at this point that I've wanted a water birth pretty much since I first heard of them as a teen. When I found out they don't let women birth in the labor tubs, I was really disappointed.
So, last week I interviewed a local homebirth midwife. Well, more accurately, THE local homebirth midwife. She's the only one within an hour drive or so. And she's fantastic. Great attitude, decades of experience, she trained the other midwife (the one an hour away), and delivered her babies. She really seemed like she had the experience that would allow me to relax and trust her, and she's very crunchy. And I've asked around, and people rave about her -- she's quite beloved in the crunchy community.
She's an LM (licensed midwife, not a CNM), so her training is just this -- she's not a nurse. She's even more anti-intervention than I am, for example, preferring a fetoscope to Doppler, gives no shots at birth (except maybe pitocin to the mom only if necessary), she keeps a list of local pediatricians who are mellow about delayed vaccination schedules. She only advocates for an ultrasound if the baby is past duedate, but I told her I plan to have the 20-week scan done, and she was very fine with that too. She said she offers a GTT, but immediately told me I can waive it (I will) and said how if someone has gestational diabetes there are other signs to look for first.
I asked if she would attend a waterbirth, and she said yes, but was quick to admit that with first-time moms she prefers to have them get out of the tub to push. She said this is because of sometimes needing her to manually help the head get past the cervix and also to help prevent tearing (meaning, she does things to help prevent and she can't do them when you're in the water). But she told me if it was really important to me to birth in the water, she'd work with me and see what we can do.
She told me she attends around 30 births per year, and has typically one hospital referral. Almost without exception, her referrals are first-time moms who experience "failure to progress," which she assured me was more exhaustion than a fixed number of hours. If there is need for a referral, she calls the two closest local hospitals to see who is on-call and then chooses where to go. There is no other midwife to back her up (though she has a couple students), and no doctor backup except the hospital on-call OB.
Also, insurance won't likely cover very much, but I figure what was the point of that career I delayed babies for if I can't just pay for the birth I want. So that is not really a factor in this decision.
So, I figure in the best case scenario, the LM is worlds better, as I give birth at home, and maybe in the water, and at least get to labor in the water. And I can relax and not worry about defending myself against interventions. But, in the worst-case, I'd get sent to some random OB at the hospital and all my choosiness would be for naught.
Oh, and while I know it's my decision, I'm very happy that my closest advisors are all very supportive. DH is 100% with me on this. A dear friend (who is not crunchy at all) thought it made perfect sense to birth at home. And BOTH my parents told me they thought it was a reasonable choice.
So, any advice? I'm not super familiar with the LM certification -- any thoughts? Homebirthers: does she sound good to you? Any other questions I need to ask either midwife?
