Help me figure out a workable set-up

[Magistra]

With our first son, almost 7 years ago, we co-slept because he wouldn't stay asleep after nighttime feedings. At first he slept on me, and then we made space in the middle of our bed, which was a queen-size spring mattress on box springs.

We weren't going to co-sleep this time due to a few changes since then. My partner takes medication for migraines on occasion that cause her to sleep very deeply, so she understandably doesn't want him next to her. The mattress we have now is foam (similar to Tempurpedic but, in my opinion, a little more firm), and I know there are some concerns about foam vs spring for co-sleeping. No box springs, and a platform bed frame, making it hard/impossible to find a bed rail so that he could sleep next to me (plus all bed rails I've seen seem to explicitly say they're for ages 2 and up).

We have the crib set up near the foot of the bed and crossed our fingers that he would be better about staying asleep than his older brother. That may still happen, but it's not the case right now. He's sleeping on me, and sleeping well, but I won't be comfortable like that once he gains more motor control.

I truly enjoyed co-sleeping with our first son, but want to be able to do it safely. What set-ups am I missing here?

[rzberrymom]

What about pushing the bed against the wall, baby next to wall, then you in the middle, then your partner?

[Magistra]

I'm not sure if that's kosher with the platform part of the bed--it extends about 4 inches along the side of the bed. I'd also have to do some measuring to see if we'd be able to clear the radiator (about 8 inches tall, 2 inches wide, not sure how long on the one wall where we would need to keep the bed) and get the bed snug against the wall that way.

If both my partner and I didn't have back issues, I would consider putting the mattress on the floor. Unfortunately, I think we'd find it nearly impossible to get ourselves in and out of bed.

[Shanny2032]

Are you tied to the platform bed? I had one as well and after much debate I sold it and put the mattress on the floor. I realize that isnt for everyone especially if you have back issues but maybe you could put that bed away for now, just get a frame and boxspring thus making it possible to eaither use a crib/coslpeer on your side, or push the bed up against the wall. Also, depending on how often your partner needs to take these meds is it possible to co sleep except on the nights when she does and then have a back up plan where either she or you and the baby bunk elsewhere for a night?

[trustedinstincts]

Is it possible to sidecar the crib on your side of the bed? That's what I did...not that my ds uses it

[Magistra]

I so wish we still lived near an Ikea--then I could probably manage the cost of a new bed frame that would accommodate our mattress without box springs.

We do have an older Pack 'n Play that might fit alongside out bed. It wouldn't be a true sidecar since the platform is lower than a normal bed, but I might still be able to keep a hand on him.

More generally, does anybody know if foam mattresses are or are not problematic and if there's a way to secure a toddler rail so that it's safe for an infant?

[Climbergirl]

I second getting the crib next to the bed. Someone gave us a crib and that has been its "spot" for 2 years now. You could play around with the mattress setting and take off the side rail. You may be able to do something in order to make it work with the platform bed.

Personally, I am looking into figuring out how to butt up a twin bed so the height is exactly the same. Getting tired of the crib look in the bedroom