Just wanted to offer some support!
I just wanted to drop you a little note and share some of my experiences as you start this exciting new chapter. I got pregnant last May, completely unplanned, after having sex with a friend of mine. Total shocker. I found out I was pregnant three weeks in and it was a very tough choice to decide if I should terminate the pregnancy or change everything and stay pregnant. I decided not to get an abortion, after a lot of soul searching and thought about if I could handle the responsibility for taking good care of myself for then next nine months and a child for the next twenty years. I had my LO last week and have found invaluable support from the MDC community since conceiving. I'm still single, in my mid-twenties and the only one of my friends to has a child.
Some things that I've learned might be helpful to you. First, when it comes to telling my friends and others I was surprised how much my unplanned pregnancy brought up their own issues. Many of my friends admitted that it had affected their own sex lives, fearing pregnancy themselves, and idea of single motherhood terrified them. As much as it was my pregnancy most of the reactions of people around me had nothing to do with me, which was strange but as soon as I was able to recognize that, it was really useful. It was rather annoying to have people (even strangers) contribute their two cents about the horrors of single motherhood and how hard it is. I find this attitude even on MDC, and want to speak to it. You won't hear much of a discussion about the advantages of single motherhood but please remind yourself when your surrounded by negative scripts there are quiet a few. Personally I don't think that single parenthood is any "better or worse" than co-parenting there are just some situations and experiences which are very different. I found it really, really nice not have a relationship during my pregnancy, as I could dedicate all of my time to my own emotional needs and not divide it into keeping a relationship healthy. I felt really sorry for many of the women on my DDC who struggled with their husbands and boyfriends, felt pressured into making birth choices the they "both" were comfortable with even if it wasn't her first choice. So be observant about the ways single motherhood is adventitious, because it's likely that it won't be pointed out for you.
There were a number of points during my pregnancy that I questioned if I had made the right choice for myself and my little one, worrying about money, my support system, access to medical care, housing. Pregnancy lasts a long time, nearly a year, if you do a little every week you'll be more than prepared for when yours makes their arrival!
Here's a blog entry on it with a link to another article about his mom.
